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RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 12/30/2004 5:33:52 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

As always, I enjoy reading posts by my sub, but this one in particular made me very proud of her.

The day I gave her the collar that she wears at all times, I took great pleasure in her eyes when she opened the box, and saw it for the first time. There was genuine excitement, and a real sense of joy.

I had shown this collar to a friend of ours that is also submissive, and I sensed jealousy from her. She was not jealous of my sub, or myself, but rather of the very simple symbol.

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If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

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Post #: 21

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/1/2005 7:48:44 PM

jaydedjayde

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

Personally I should think for me collars are a matter of symbolizim. I want to have one collar. I do not want a collar of consideration. I will be collared once. I do not take the collar lightly> I have met someone whom I hope someday in the future to be collared to. But not yet. When I am collared it will be for life. I will not become collared unless it is so. I do not need to have a training collar. For me it would make me feel like they do not care of me but rather for the idea. Now if we went through the consideration period then I was offered a collar that would be a differnt matter. How many collars were owned would not be the point. As we live in a world where vanilla is the accepted lifestyle so I would most likely have more then one so that I would be able to wear a collar in public where vanillas are viewing or around my family. They know my lifestyle but it need not be in their face.

(in reply to subcheryl)

Post #: 22

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 1/2/2005 12:38:50 AM

MasterIron

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

for me there is one collar ..In as much as I do use a collar when in session it doesnt mean that that particular sub is collared to me.. That is done formally whe submission is offered and accepted and then her collar is placed around her neck. grinz.. although in saying that I do use 2 collars . one is what I would call a working collar, one that is uded in session, and the other is a dress collar so to speak which is worn out in a social environment with vanilla persons.. I must admit to having great difficulty finding a nice dress collar tho :(

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Do it to them before they do it to you :)

(in reply to subcheryl)

Post #: 23

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 1:24:00 AM

Roksana

Posts: 41
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

I use many many collars on my stepbrothe, but all collar has same meaning, he is just my slave and sof

(in reply to MasterIron)

Post #: 24

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 2:38:18 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I was given a collar a few years ago. Subsequently, it was in a car that was carjacked. I was upset for a while that it had been stolen but quickly came to realize that it wasn't going to be replaced - no matter how much I wished that it would. I got used to not having one, although I continually wished for one.

Last weekend we went to a more public event. There were LOTS of people wearing collars there. Some people even had on collars as they walked around with someone else on a leash - also wearing a collar. That night I realized what he'd been trying to teach me all along.

The material collar ultimately was a piece of leather and some metal. Where I wore my collar - where it mattered the most - where it continues to matter - was around my heart. And ultimately, it doesn't matter what I put around my neck - even if it's nothing at all. What matters is what's around my heart.

So... one collar for me.

It's all good.

juliet

(in reply to Roksana)

Post #: 25

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:15:14 AM

SirEbonyPhoenix

Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline

Hmm....I was under the impression that the Collar of Protection comes before the Collar of Consideration, then the Training Collar and finally, the Formal Collar since this follows the tradition of Old Guard rules. If I am wrong, someone correct me.

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"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

(in reply to subcheryl)

Post #: 26

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:16:56 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

you have not mentioned the ring around the collar.

you try scrubbing it out-----

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(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 27

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:18:42 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Hmm....I was under the impression that the Collar of Protection comes before the Collar of Consideration, then the Training Collar and finally, the Formal Collar since this follows the tradition of Old Guard rules. If I am wrong, someone correct me.

you mean Old Internet, right?

juliet

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 28

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:20:38 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

you have not mentioned the ring around the collar.

you try scrubbing it out-----

Ring around the rosies is particularly deadly - even though it's fun to sing.

juliet

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 29

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:37:10 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Legend has it that tune was the root cause of the bubonic plague.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 30

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:43:12 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Legend has it that tune was the root cause of the bubonic plague.

I'm sure sung by the same rats who sang "I HAVE FLEAS!!"

juliet

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 31

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 7:23:22 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

There is a collar for that....wasn't mentioned previously, btw.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 32

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 7:45:31 AM

BlindDescent

Posts: 113
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

Don't let protocol become a replacement for living. In a parallel concept; I find it nauseating when a woman walks diamond ring first into a room. She is displaying the prize of what she won; not the embodiment of who she is within the relationship. Then again...maybe she is.
Likewise, collars have great meaning to some people; just don't make them mean more than what the relationship should embody.

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Reality is what you create; not what others leave behind.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 33

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 7:49:09 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Personally, I'm partial to the historical meaning of the single collar symbolizing ownership (along with a "posture" collar which symbolizes nothing, and is simply a tool or toy).

More recently it seems as though a plethora of different collars symbolizing many different things have been constructed, and I have no issue with those who employ them until and unless they are portrayed as something they are not (which is often).

John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 34

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 7:53:26 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrettyNYkitten

I believe that there is a discussion of the three types of collars on Mistress Steel's website. The URL for the site may be www.steel-door.com, but I am not sure at all.

Mistress Steel is a nice woman with a lot of good things to say about BDSM. However, history is not one of her strong suits and her portrayal of the historical nature of collars is, in a word, a fabrication.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to PrettyNYkitten)

Post #: 35

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 8:01:07 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Hmm....I was under the impression that the Collar of Protection comes before the Collar of Consideration, then the Training Collar and finally, the Formal Collar since this follows the tradition of Old Guard rules. If I am wrong, someone correct me.

Somebody made that up. As juliet has said previously, it's likely to have been concocted by someone on the internet.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)

Post #: 36

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 8:20:28 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrettyNYkitten
I find it very useful to use protocol when giving collars, and therefore, it behooves a dominant man to first give a collar of consideration to the slave or submissive woman. Collars are not to be taken lightly, and too many "velcro collars" are given. If the collar of consideration is the first collar given, then there can be a period of time for the couple to get to know one another. After that, there is a training collar, and the third type of collar is the formal or permanent collar, and that should signify a lifetime commitment.

That comes close to the way I tend to work.

I don't always feel the need to use 'consideration' in the getting to know you point before submission proper. If the girl has a need for it and is needing at least some control then it can be discussed and begged for. The only diffrence it signifies to Myself is wether there is some areas of control, comming under My responcibility whilst We continue with the important work of getting to know each other.

Once We have reached a certain point and mutual trust then they can beg for Me to accept their submission.To Me that is the start of the relationship proper, they are Mine. There is still a lot to learn of each other though, most things till then have been talking, that is when talk turns to reality and it is seen if actions match words over the longer term. The collar round their neck at that point (If indeed I physicaly do so) is Mine but more akin to the Gorean house collar rather than the personal collar.

Once I am sure that this is going to work long term then and only then will I formaly collar them and yes, whilst not legaly binding, it IS hoped that the commitment it represents on both sides will last a lifetime. It can be many months or year or two before I maybe feel the time is right to formaly collar her.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to PrettyNYkitten)

Post #: 37

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 9:04:02 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I've always had difficulties with the whole concept of "collars of consideration." Isn't that what going out with each other is for? I mean, what do you do? Walk down the aisle at the mall, grab someone and say "I'm considering you." and slap a collar around her neck? If someone's reached the point of being GIVEN a collar (rather than just using one as part of a session), doesn't that pretty much signify that you've seriously considered her already?

And here's the other part that I have problems with when going the route of those "collars of consideration." If I'm dating someone and considering them as they're considering me and it doesn't work out, we walk away - no harm, no foul. However, when a collar of consideration comes into play, and it doesn't work out, then the collar is taken back and the inference - TO ME - is that I wasn't worthy.

I don't want to go that route, so... consider me, then collar me...don't consider, collar, reconsider and THEN make a decison. My self-esteem can't handle that one.

Oh yea... and regarding those "collars of protection?" Tell me, just what is it again that you're "protecting" me from? If it's other men and I don't belong to you, then I can protect myself thankyouverymuch. I've yet to come across too many people that I've needed assistance in protecting myself. And I don't want a collar just for the "feel good" part of being able to say "look see? I have a collar! nanny nanny boo boo"

Personally, "collars of protection" mean "collars of hands off, she's mine - maybe" with no committment beyond that. To be blunt, "collars of protection" are - to me - just dominants pissing on garbage cans (sorry)... nothing more than territoriality in action, and I want NO part of something like that.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 8/4/2007 9:08:19 AM >

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 38

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 6:20:36 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra
If I'm dating someone and considering them as they're considering me and it doesn't work out, we walk away - no harm, no foul. However, when a collar of consideration comes into play, and it doesn't work out, then the collar is taken back and the inference - TO ME - is that I wasn't worthy.

This has always been my view. Why is it the sub is the only one being considered? Male Doms outnumber female subs at least 3 to 1, so supply and demand says that we get to consider them.

Personally, I believe in one collar and most likely would have walked away from anyone that offered me a collar of consideration.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 39

RE: Multiple collars or Single Collar? - 8/4/2007 8:10:58 PM

MasterGremlin

Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

For U/us, the collar is a symbol of O/our commitment to each other and it means even more than a wedding ring.

When I was young, I was attacked and strangled. After that, I couldn't stand anything even remotely snug around my neck. I informed Master of this so initially, Master bought a belly chain for me to wear. During the first year W/we were together, He gradually got me used to having His hand around my neck and on O/our wedding night, He put a collar on me.

That first collar was a very thin, light weight soft leather with snaps. I did pretty well with it, although I did wake up panicing in the middle of the night a couple times and rip it off and throw it across the room.

It was after several years, much trial and tribulation that Master had a perminent collar custom made for me. By perminent, I mean it never comes off. The back screws together and I wear it 24/7. It is a constant reminder that He owns me.

As far as W/we are concerned, they are all the same collar, just upgraded like many couples have done to their wedding rings as they reach certain milestones in their relationships.

Sincerely,
minxy

(in reply to LrdSatyr8)

Post #: 40

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