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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: need advice (2/2/2012 9:03:44 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: toptiersub
She had access to my bank account and paypal and some of my personal information. Nothing was ever taken, but she would never verify herself on cam or with pictures.
Of all the subs I've had in the past not once did I demand access to their bank accounts or paypal accounts. Not even with my slave. He handles his bills just fine and I don't want to take over that grunt work. If I would want anything from him all I would have to do is let him know.
You seem to have doubts that she is who she says she is. Good. Your instincts are still in there somewhere, in spite of whatever "sub frenzy" that was clouding your mind. Will you really hear me when I say I am SHOCKED that you would leave yourself so vulnerable to being exploited? Hon, I earned the trust of each of my subs and it took longer than just two weeks. My boy knows now that he can trust me with his life and this kind of trust is not something that should happen in the blink of an eye.
Please. Next time, follow the spirit of the advice given in big red letters every time you write to someone here at CM. The warning not to send money would also include not giving them access to your bank account or paypal.
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So we got to talking and she tells me that she doesn't like people who lie. ...She got all upset and deleted me from her contacts and refuses to speak to me.
I don't know anything about scammers, so I will ignore all that and just respond to your comment. I don't like lies either. I can handle almost anything BUT lies. If my boy lies by omission because he is afraid of how I would react...it is my job to "feel" that something is bothering him and get him to confess. He is encouraged to come to me with everything.
If someone wouldn't stop lying to me I would cut him loose. Cutting him loose wouldn't be a mind game to get him to re-think everything and straighten himself up, it would be because...I had failed to establish the relationship I needed and/or I had failed to choose the right companion.
She made her decision and it's time for you to move on.
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So my question is. If a dominant women with years of experience claims to be so. Why is she so easily offended? Shouldn't she take control of the situation and punish me or come up with a way to deal with me?
I'm a Dominant woman with years of experience [;)] , and if I caught someone lying to me within the first two weeks...I would wonder if this was a habit of his, lying to the woman in his life, and I would also wonder what all else he would be lying to me about. My boy knows that this is a make it or break it, either I get the truth or he will start destroying my trust. I prefer transparency.
Easily offended? Nah, I just have standards that are important to me and I won't settle for less. Each of us has our "must haves" in a relationship, this is one of mine.
It would be a relief to suffer punishment and then be forgiven, but it seems you will be disappointed if you were hoping for this absolution. Learn from this and move on. In the past I had subs I was interested in who lied and played games with me...and consequently I lost interest and cut them loose. I simply wasn't interested in considering them further.
You are older and wiser now and might have a better chance at finding someone compatible.
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