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jennileigh8182 -> RE: First Dom (2/14/2012 11:09:33 AM)
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Ha. My first Dom actually inspired me to run from the lifestyle, hard and fast, utterly convinced that I was a miserable, worthless, unfit sub. He lied to me from the very beginning and caused me to violate major personal ethics (he said he was separated, in the process of a divorce...imagine my surprise when i found out his wife still wanted to work things out and he'd even showed her my picture, maybe in some crazy bid to inspire jealousy in her? and then told me she said that i wasn't pretty enough for him). There were some things I enjoyed, but mostly, it was the worst experience of my life. He pushed me too hard and too fast, paying no attention to my comfort level. He was such a winner of a guy that after we split (like 10 months or so after), he called me ON MY BIRTHDAY to tell me about his new sub, and how she was such a GOOD GIRL (unlike me) and had moved in with him at the cost of her family disowning her, because she was such a good sub.
It took me several years, and several intimate friendships with quality dominants to break through all the ugliness he created in me. I was utterly convinced that while i wanted to be a sub, and while i felt complete when with a strong and caring Dom, that it was a hopeless dream because i was unfit and unworthy. That whole having a brain of my own, thing...
Imagine my surprise that I've actually met other Doms that LIKED my brain!
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