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OrionTheWolf -> RE: *****REMINDER************REMINDER******* (2/9/2012 6:37:22 AM)
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ORIGINAL: stellauk
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ORIGINAL: Delilya
I try to behave, but I swear when they come in here disrespecting any group of people, (usually female subs), then it really gets to me. I will try harder. sigh.
I'm more in agreement with this to be honest - coming back. I signed up here for the opportunity to locate, interact and possibly meet with like-minded people.
But how do we treat those that are not like minded?
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What I didn't sign up for is to be stigmatized, harrassed, or involved non-consensually in someone's juvenile online fantasies and headgames played out for the purpose of their own online gratification.
The new posters did not sign up for it either, and some of them get trampled in the process when they are not as you described above.
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This is an internet message board it's a public space on a privately owned website with very clearly defined Terms of Service spelled out to which everyone agrees to abide by before setting up a profile and being allowed to make use of the generous facilities provided.
Yes, everyone including the regular posters as well:
"As the description for this section states, this is a forum for the welcoming and introduction of Collarme.com forum subscribers. At this time, we would like to remind all new members to please familiarize themselves with our forum guidelines posted here. All members are welcome to join in the conversation here regardless of experience or interest.
Subjects which are unacceptable regardless of circumstance include, but are not limited to - minors included in sexual acts, bestiality, incest, necrophilia, snuff and criminal activities. Any other questions of acceptability will be determined based on the content of the post. Keep the discussions civil and mature, and do not insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others.
There is an Off Topic Discussion category elsewhere on this board if you wish to bring up subjects other than those intended here.
Have fun!"
http://www.collarchat.com/m_13130/tm.htm
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This is not a chatroom, it is not a bordello, it is a message board and like it or not when you write a post you are writing to an audience and I feel that basic common decency and civility is not too much to ask of anyone.
I agree completely! Now find where everyone agrees on what common civility is often the issue.
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Now I'm aware that this might be a difficult enough concept for the few members of Middle America who come to this site and regard it as a dating site for kinky sex to grasp, but this is also actually an international site with members many of whom just don't have a comparable set of freedoms. Maybe it would require attendance at Equality Parades in Eastern Europe with religious zealots throwing stones at you in moral outrage or being whacked by police batons to get the message across.
If you do a search on "BDSM Dating" Collarme comes up in the top 10, so while it may not offocially say it, it either has meta tags on it or enough people have come to it via that type of search for it to be regarded as such by many. This is where the intent of each user may be different.
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After receiving my first ever gold warning for criticizing the way a new user, who was breaking TOS with genital nudity and stigmatizing a sizeable minority of other users who remain within TOS I felt that I had to make a stand.
Why? I believe it is part of the guidelines and such that the Mods have that power, not us the members. We agreed to it when we joined. I can understand wanting to express opinions, but we all agreed to do it in compliance with the TOS, guidelines and direction of the Mods.
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I am not here to argue the reason or 'policy' behind that gold message, but accept it as coming from the site owners. However the message is very clear in that as I'm not part of middle America and do not represent a social group with large revenue earning potential for the site I am a minority, a second class CollarMe user.
Wow. I have enjoyed reading many of your posts, and not sure what happened, or what would make you reach that conclusion. As a business, I would advise the site to make sure that regular contributors know that they are the "meat" of the forums.
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But then again I prefer to remain positiive. I came here with no expectations and no feelings of entitlement, I don't especially feel that I have a reputation to maintain or to win any popularity contests. I've been here a few years and have made some very special and enduring friendships and I'm very sorry, when I see friends or people on this site being objectified, stigmatized to sexualized I will always make a stand.
I applaud this up to a point. I used to myself, try and straighten things out long ago, and got gold letters. I was told then that if I used the "report" feature it would get sent to the mods and they would take care of it as soon as they could. Since then, that is what I do when I want to make a stand. I may also make comment, but I keep in mind the guidelines and TOS. There have been some times I have pushed it, and gotten that gold letter, but I accepted it as I was in the wrong.
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This is part of my nature and perhaps a reason why my friendships are enduring and fulfilling.
Probably so, it seems to be a common trait in those that are straight forward and appreciate the no BS type of friendships.
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The fact that I'm here doesn't mean that people have to like me. I would rather they figure that out for themselves. It's really no skin off my nose either way, I'm no better than nor inferior to any other user on these boards.
Stella again you write some great thoughts. I must say that while I may agree with most of what I have seen you post, the other portions have always provoked thought in me, which I find is a good thing.
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