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RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/13/2012 4:49:53 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

anything that is open to the community in your area will be a good place to start. Just don't rush to go to a private party, meet some people first and get to know them so that you know what to expect and what kind of protocol or manners will be expected of you so that you do not inadvertently offend someone.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 21

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/15/2012 6:34:44 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

sebastien31,

Despite the fact I'm not your target audience (i.e. I'm a male submissive and not a female dominant), your entire approach is working for me. You've got a great picture up and your writing and personality comes across sincerly and intelligently. Thus I'm going to say something I rarely do when asked to critique profiles on Collar Me... don't change anything. I like everything as-is. Well done, welcome aboard, and I hope you find what you're looking for. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 22

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/15/2012 7:09:16 PM

hangemhigh1953

Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31

That's definitely the next step for me, i found out that the local ALCC (Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre) is holding a "Drop-in Day" and a movie/munch night, once every month. Also, there are fetish play parties and gathering in clubs organized every week. I thought i would wait for the former, but do you think a fetish play party is also a good place to start?

I would say go to the munch first, solely for the reason that depending on what the party is like you might not meet anyone or get to play and it could end up a big waste of time.

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 23

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/15/2012 10:33:20 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Your profile is fine Sebastien,enjoy your journey I think you will be fine.
Just keep a few things in mind as you go about your search,these Ladies were indeed Ladies long before they realized they were Dommes.So always ,always treat them as such.
Attraction here works just like in the vanilla world,project that which is attractive and you will attract....come off as someone whose search is just killing them and you will repulse.
Learn to enjoy the journey,yes we all want to get to the destination,but it is truly the trip that matters...so have fun on the trip,the Ladies will take notice of this and will gravitate towards you.
Have fun,play safe and hang around here,there are truly some great folks(and Yes Ladies) here.
slave mike

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

Post #: 24

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/16/2012 1:02:37 AM

sebastien31

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31

That's definitely the next step for me, i found out that the local ALCC (Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre) is holding a "Drop-in Day" and a movie/munch night, once every month. Also, there are fetish play parties and gathering in clubs organized every week. I thought i would wait for the former, but do you think a fetish play party is also a good place to start?

I would say go to the munch first, solely for the reason that depending on what the party is like you might not meet anyone or get to play and it could end up a big waste of time.

I thought so too. So its decided, I will be at the next munch in 2 weeks... and i'm already nervous :)

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

Post #: 25

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/16/2012 1:24:23 AM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

it's not a date, its a gathering of like minded people. Think of it as a way to get information, learn, and most importantly and primarily, to meet people you can build relationships with (as friends and advisors). From there, who knows, oyster and all that stuff...

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 26

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/16/2012 1:44:10 AM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

I recommend munch first then play parties, Munches are very low key gatherings, eat some food talk about whatever is amusing (be it sci fi, be it electronics, be it your favorite kinda tea...) and just get to know some people.

THEN go to the play parties...but dont expect to play, and honestly i would wait to play and try till you get to know people...

I just cringe at some of the things ive seen newer people do in frenzy in our local scene... and just want to jump up and down and scream NO STOP.... seriously...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 27

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/16/2012 12:50:45 PM

sebastien31

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline

Thanks for the advice :) There's absolutely no risk of me going frenzy. I usually come across as shy first, but i'm really just a "cool, calm and collected" guy.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Post #: 28

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 7:04:18 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

You need a woman to kick you in your ass to make you a better man? Really? I'd take that out for sure.

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 29

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 7:34:03 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Why ? I need a woman to kick me in the ass too
Sort of what the whole "male sub" thing is about.
Perhaps you being a Dom and all you just aren't getting the point ?

p.s.If you are under the impression that male sub's spend all that much time concerning themselves with what male Dom's give a shit about......well,again you just aren't getting the point

.

< Message edited by slvemike4u -- 2/22/2012 7:36:12 PM >

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to TheBootyMan)

Post #: 30

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 7:43:35 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

BootyMan a dom? Yeahhh....not so much.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 31

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 8:29:56 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

That's what his profile says LidyHib,me(a lowly slave?)I make no assumptions....lol.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 32

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 8:40:45 PM

MissToYouRedux

Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline

In evaluating the self-description of a poster, the View Forum Posts button has always been my friend.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 33

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/22/2012 9:54:13 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

Given the post I read here...why would I go to the trouble......just sayin

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)

Post #: 34

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/23/2012 8:04:19 AM

GloriousMorning

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/18/2009
Status: offline

No advice here, just a quick note to say, nice profile! If I were a Domme in your area, I would certainly take notice of how you have expressed yourself as articulately as you have done on the other side. Bravo!

< Message edited by GloriousMorning -- 2/23/2012 8:07:15 AM >

(in reply to slvemike4u)

Post #: 35

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/23/2012 4:15:29 PM

sebastien31

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline

Well thank you very much GloriousMorning. I've put time and effort it in it, i'm happy it shows and still think about ways to make it better.

quote:

the View Forum Posts button has always been my friend.

Thanks MissToYouRedux, that feature can indeed be very enlightning :)

As for the "kick in the butt", it's meant in both a literal and figurative way, referring to my desire of exploring my masochistic side and of finding someone to guide me, give me direction, "enforce" a better sense of discipline and responsibility on me. I also thought it added a touch of humour.

(in reply to GloriousMorning)

Post #: 36

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/23/2012 6:43:50 PM

TheBootyMan

Posts: 75
Status: offline

I was just adding a touch of my humor as well. Sub on my brother

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 37

RE: New sub wanting to improve - 2/24/2012 10:00:49 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sebastien31
I also got the blues today, after reading sub profiles and forum posts about the offer of subs exceeding so much the seeking dommes that it is improbable i will ever find.

OK, I'm a male dom so my opinions here are dubious at best... but man, I just gotta say... you should NOT be getting the blues.

For a few years now I've been reading collarme. For a few years I've heard and seen the same complaints over and over from the female dommes. Over and over I've heard something akin to...

Why can't I find a male submissive who actually wants to submit to ME and to MY desires instead of having me submit to them?"

You and your profile don't trip that trigger... as you can tell by the generally positive responses you are getting here. Look at it this way... no matter how awful the number's game, the best always get selected because they come off the top of the list not the bottom.

my 2c on "limits". Limits are useful for people not in long-term committed relationships. But honestly, once you have a real partner, then limits goes by the wayside in favor of "joint exploration".... or I think it should anyway. I look at it this way. What possible use could I have for a long list of "I won'ts" when it comes to Carol? Every single one of them is a a nasty problem begging to become cancerous in our relationship. I'm much more interested in what I WILL do for her than what I won't. And honestly, what I WILL do for her is whatever it is that she needs and every single bit of what she wants that I can manage. If not me, then who? I'm the guy who claims to love her. There... I probably just lost whatever last little bits of domly street cred I had with that statement but all the same, it's true.

(and just because I know Des will chime in here.... I'm not referring to limits like "I'm highly allergic to shellfish so I won't let my partner inject me with 200cc's of ground up shellfish. Honestly, if that sort of thing is even an issue then a new relationship needs to be found).

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to sebastien31)

Post #: 38

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