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LadyPact -> RE: "Vindication" (2/13/2012 7:21:29 AM)
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Well, you asked for opinions......
I agree that there is a problem with the behavior. If I'm training anyone, they are associated with My name in the community and that means they had damn well better know how to act in regard to manners and such. It's not the topping from the bottom that would have ticked Me off. It would have been the lack of courtesy with the 'you're not beating right/hard enough/ up to standards'. That's not how you treat people on either side of the kneel. When people take the time and effort to play/scene, even when it doesn't live up to expectations for whatever reason, you are still gracious enough to thank them for their time. Not everybody plays as hard as everybody else and there will be times that you run into people who don't play as hard as you. That's not a character defect or a harm situation. (I'm having deja vu here because I just wrote something similar on another site yesterday.)
Would I beat somebody for it? Hell, no! The lack of being beaten hard enough sounds like it was what led to the rudeness in the first place. That would be the last thing I would do. It certainly isn't going to prevent it from happening again because there is no lesson in it. I'm thinking something related to manners in some form. Research and writing would work. A good weight of books that are non fiction related to manners or protocol (depending on personal taste of the authority figure) would do a good job of it, too. Of course, anybody who is 'training' anyone should be more than qualified to come up with something suitable.
If there is actual humiliation associated with this incident, and rightful embarrassment of the person who is supposed to be in charge, I wouldn't be broadcasting it on a forum, either. There's something to be said for good taste. In My opinion, if I can't handle disciplinary problems within the dynamic, I shouldn't be the person in authority in one. How did this thread make it better? Seems to Me that all it's doing for the parties involved is making it worse.
OK. That's not entirely true. I get to say a couple of words about a personal pet peeve of Mine. This advice will help the OP with future discussions on the forums.
Take a second and read My signature line. Remember it. Make it a part of your philosophy. It comes in really useful when matters such as how the person on the other side of the kneel has been instructed by the person in authority to conduct themselves. See, I'm the type that if another Dominant tried to tell Me how things are supposed to work in My dynamic, I'd tell them just where they can shove their uninvited input. They can do what the hell they want when it comes to their own submissive, but they certainly don't have the authority to overturn Mine. There isn't a one of them who would want Me sticking My nose into their dynamic, when they have given a command to their s type, for Me to come along and contradict them. Affording others the same courtesy isn't that difficult.
I don't care if third person speech makes the eyes of every person on this forum bleed. The only obedience or preference that has to be followed is the person who is actually in charge of the damn dynamic. If somebody else can't handle that, there is always the option of kindly reminding them that they aren't one of the participants and they sure aren't the person in power. They have no more right to interfere than they would if they were to walk up to people at a play party who are engaging in kink or expression of their power dynamic and try to bully somebody into changing because, in their opinion, the people who want it that way are doing it wrong.
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