RE: Too much to ask of a sub?

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/14/2012 9:17:23 AM

libraryladysub

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I think you will be a fine Master to someone, Soft...

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/14/2012 7:19:36 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Depends on the person, on your relationship and on her schedule. If she has kids of her own, commutes an hour each day, then comes home to take care of her kids, clean her house, do her own shopping and cooking - how do you think she's going to be able to come over to your place and do all that for you as well? Where do the extra hours in the day come from?

Do you expect her to quit work and live in her car in order to tend you?

Beyond all that, if you aren't capable of handling all this for yourself, then expect her not to have that much respect for you. She doesn't want someone chasing her because his bathroom hasn't been cleaned in six months. And yes, we've had guys come on and say just that. Needless to say, they don't get any offers.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/14/2012 7:23:23 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

If you were a sub, what level of service would be "too much?"
Taking care of Master's small children?
Cleaning the toilet?
Cleaning the dog's accident off the carpet?
Asking cause as old as I am I am new to the scene (finally pursuing what I want instead of just what the people around me want), and I don't want to ask a sub for too much and have her torn between saying no or being disgusted.
Thanks for your input and time!

Well, except for the moniker ("Master")....being that I like wimmens....I would have to say.....

Cash always has an unusually powerful aphrodisiac effect on me.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/14/2012 9:15:15 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

But it is the master's job to take care of the sub, in exchange for service, right? I need to see what the sub needs mentally, and while part of that is pushing her to do things she is curious but afraid of, part of it is protecting her and not pushing too hard. Am I right? As you can see, absolutely no experience as a dom.

I recommend getting experience being a Dom before contemplating being a Master. DarkSteven especially might have some useful suggestions for you.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 1:04:46 AM

kitkat105

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I think D/s is still about compromise. What would you reasonably expect of someone in a vanilla relationship? Sure there is more a submissive will probably do, but she'll only do it because of the love/trust/compromise/communicated needs & wants, like any relationship.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 2:25:04 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

If you were a sub, what level of service would be "too much?"
Taking care of Master's small children?
Cleaning the toilet?
Cleaning the dog's accident off the carpet?
Asking cause as old as I am I am new to the scene (finally pursuing what I want instead of just what the people around me want), and I don't want to ask a sub for too much and have her torn between saying no or being disgusted.
Thanks for your input and time!

[sarcasm]I think it's important to remember that in the D/s lifestyle, it's all about the submissive and what they want.[/sarcasm]

Once again, people are blurring the lines between BDSM and D/s.

In BDSM activities or "scening", the bottom does have all the power; it is found in the safeword. Plain and simple. There's no denying that.

However, in the truest sense of D/s, where the dominant is supposed to be the person who steers or stewards the relationship, it is the top/dominant/master who has the power.

I think the distinction needs to be made.

I think a dominant is totally within their rights, even when just "dating" to expect a submissive to serve their needs because, as my grandma used to say: "It's best to begin as you plan to procede".

This is not to say that there aren't plenty of ladies that will balk at the idea of you saying: "Baby, the dog just made a mess. Could you take care of that for me, please?" until you have promised to love them until the end of time and blah, blah, blah. I think, however, you'll find that as some people have said; it's a matter of finding the lady whose idea of submission lines up with yours.

I try to live the D/s lifestyle the way I see it and I have had plenty of ladies wish to stop seeing me or leave my house, shaking their head because their idea of service is not the same as mine. I have spent a lot of time alone. That's fine. I'd rather be alone than to have a "submissive" in my life that delegates authority instead of abdicating it.

Now, I have said many times that if a lady's service and company are pleasing to me that it serves me to make sure that she is happy also but, when there's a choice of one of us being happy and the other being a bit uncomfortable or inconvenienced, I know which way I think that scale should tip.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 5:12:50 AM

FrostedFlake

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And it makes a difference whether or not you are talking to a SERVICE sub.

If you ain't, it's just work. Nothing special about it. Make a big deal out of it and, by God, you have.

Feel free to deride these facts.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 7:07:51 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftBonds

If you were a sub, what level of service would be "too much?"
Taking care of Master's small children?
Cleaning the toilet?
Cleaning the dog's accident off the carpet?
Asking cause as old as I am I am new to the scene (finally pursuing what I want instead of just what the people around me want), and I don't want to ask a sub for too much and have her torn between saying no or being disgusted.
Thanks for your input and time!

As others have said you need to define the relationship before you define the details.

If I own someone, they are mine, they had better not balk at any task I give them. I've cleaned toilets and I pick up a LOT of dog shit, if she cannot manage to do the stuff I do regularly now, she's not going to be mine.

But, you've got to keep in mine that if I demand those things, and many more, I already know what type of relationship I would have and what her place in my life would be.

If I was heavily into public BDSM play, I sure as hell wouldn't contemplate demanding, some bottom I'd only played casually in a club with, come over to my house and scrub toilets and pick up dog shit.

You've not given any indication as to what your relationship is and how it is defined. What applies to any of us might not apply to you and yours at all.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 11:35:14 AM

ProlificNeeds

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Joined: 5/19/2007
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Depends on if she's YOUR sub, or you're courting a submissive lady to become yours. Asking anything of your sub is fine, but just don't make the mistake of thinking she is YOURS before she actually is.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 6:21:05 PM

SirCNSweet

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remember libraryladysub your master has as much control over you as you allow him to. You serve him because you want too. I serve mine because I adore him and wil do anything to make him happy and proud that i belong to him.

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/15/2012 6:24:28 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Except with out her giving you the control, you have none..

Everything you do with out her consent she can throw your ass in jail for...

Yeah..

Sorry the subs in control and the dom only has what the sub gives,

Want more then what she gives, be a man who deserves it....

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RE: Too much to ask of a sub? - 2/16/2012 10:16:49 AM

JeffBC

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Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I think a dominant is totally within their rights, even when just "dating" to expect a submissive to serve their needs because, as my grandma used to say: "It's best to begin as you plan to procede".

This is why I love rights-based relationships. ANYTHING is totally within your rights when you get to just make up "rights" that flow from no where. I absolutely agree... a dominant is totally within their rights to ask for whatever they want. Conversely, a sub is totally within their rights to fall over laughing when the request is made.

In the real world, "rights" typically flow from somewhere. I have "rights" under the constitution of the United States... or at least I did up until recently. I know where they come from, how they got there, and how they can (or can not) be enforced. Where do these relationship rights you speak of come from? Is there some chartering body of doms somewhere that's constructed the Dom bill of rights?

In the end, whether these forms of service are "too much" or not is going to be the actual measure of the dominance in question as opposed to theoretical "rights" You tell her to do something and she either does or does not. If she does, then you have successfully dominated her in that area. If she does not, then you have failed. Or, as SpiritedRadiance put it more succinctly...

Want more than what she gives, be a man who deserves it...

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