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advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 10:47:47 AM   
DommesLesEnigma


Posts: 108
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Just stirring up the pot

The topic I want to bring up is why do you follow Forum post.

The idea is from a post I made yesterday. From a conversation that popped up between friends. I wanted more input because people was coming in all directions with their opinions. So I posted it on the forum. Yeah it was worded badly from what I see of the response. Also, flipped flopped my words when I gave examples.

But getting back to the topic....

Most people come to forums to learn about things, give advice, get new ideas, share their knowledge, even see if someone thinks like them, or even if their thinking is all wrong.

On the other hand people come to the forms to be sarcastic, insulting, joke around, the list goes on.

Here I see that forum poster has a kind of system BS alert (good) such as, catching misleading information, someone posting under multiple accounts, or trying to push a different agenda, can't say what else since I am still getting to know it.

I also see active Moderation that step in to make sure TOS is followed. Which personally I like.

So why do you follow this forum, and what do you get out of it.

Now before you swoop down on me start correcting my spelling, telling me to research it, and of course ask what do this have to do in the subject of this forum? The answer is what goes on in this forum and subject today. Things are ever changing. Mostly seeing if new post are welcomed or even wanted for new people coming in. Or is it a closed knit type of forum, or make sure you don't bring up a subject unless you got all the facts and it hasn't been post before. Or is it more laid back.

Just stirring up the pot
DLE

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:00:53 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Just stirring the pot eh?

At one time we were all new posters. Welcome or not, it isn't a board wide agreement to let some in and force others out. It is a forum, with many people that come and go and some that stay. We are not the same, we are not a unit and rarely agree to all things. In fact, I have never seen it even when the majority felt someone was a real waste of good air, time or anything else.

We are here for all sorts of reasons, including the butt hurt people that don't like a response to their own mistakes and need to stir the pot. It is what it is. You either wish to be here or you don't, nothing is really going to change by a concentrated effort by anyone but the site mods and even they I am sure struggle with controlling this mix of strangers and friends.

You will get from these forums... as any other forums out there... what you put into it... what you want from it or you won't. It doesn't matter what we think or do. A couple good things to keep in mind on any forum... cover your ass, don't be overly sensitive and have a sense of humor.


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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:03:00 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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All of the above and then some.

Most because the forums, tend to be rather entertaining. Especially some of the threads that didn't intend to be.

Once in awhile I am pleasantly surprised and find a gem that gives me either an "Ahaaaaaaa....." moment or, sends my brain into overdrive. Either by giving me a new way to look at the topic, or even more often, triggering something completely different, sending me off to googlefoo and investigate. Occasionally I have a thought that I think might be of help or entertaining to others.....so I toss it in. If it is sarcastic, so be it.

Mostly though, I just sit here and laugh. Sometimes I even manage to entertain myself with the occasional witty(at least to me which really, at the end of the day, is all that matters) quip.

I come here to be entertained, pass the time, tickle my brain or funny bone. If I don't find something that does, I move on to greener pastures.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:16:24 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I'm here for a number of reasons. But, truly I try to inject some common sense. I've been into D/s BDSM a long time and had the advantage of being in a really large community which gave me the ability to view a large amount of people. I've seen things that work and things that absolutely will fail every single time. I'm a blunt person and say things pretty much straight out. If someone chooses to take that as insulting, then the onus is on them.

As far as the search thing. For the most part, that usually comes out when it's a subject that's been beaten to death repeatedly. ie: sub vs slave, scams and fakes, etc.



< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 2/16/2012 11:31:24 AM >


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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:18:42 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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~FR~

I have to plead "Guilty" to the "Advice", "Sarcasm", and "Sharing Knowledge" parts. I have been guilty of all three at one time or another and while I may be guilty of the fourth, it has never been intentional but, usually as a result of trying to be funny by using sarcasm.

I think you'll find that just like any microcosm of life, you will find many different kinds of people, here. If some of the behavior really bothers you, I have found the "hide link" (found under each poster's avatar) to be a very handy tool.

But, there are good people here who truly enjoy sharing knowledge in an effort to educate or change opinions.

What I get out of it is a (tolerably) free exchange of ideas and inter-action with people of different opinions which advances my perceptions and knowledge base.



Peace and comfort,



Michael


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Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:26:18 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
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Are you asking why people come here? Or complaining about not-so-nice posting? Or both? =p

I come here to chitchat. There are some interesting brains here that I like to read or converse with. I also hope that someone out there can relate to my opinions once in a while. We communicated because we want to connect in some way; at least that's what I believe.
I don't want to just type stuff up as a billboard statement and wander off; I could do that in a notebook. =p I post here, where people are, because I like to talk to people.

So yeah -- I love interesting, thought-inducing, cogs-a-turnin' posts; I like to swoon over provocative posts; I like to see what different opinions exist out there (that's eastily one of the most interesting things about a place like this). There are people whose opinions I've come to respect. And besides, kinky junk is just fun to talk about.

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:28:00 AM   
DomMeinCT


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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

Most people come to forums to learn about things, give advice, get new ideas, share their knowledge, even see if someone thinks like them, or even if their thinking is all wrong.

On the other hand people come to the forms to be sarcastic, insulting, joke around, the list goes on.


And a million other reasons.

I come here to interact with other human beings who share a (very generally) similar interest and occasionally to write haiku responses that make me (but perhaps no one else) laugh.

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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

~ Carl Jung

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:30:18 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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And I come here to solicit blowjobs, and all I get is sarcasm and insults.

Oh yeah, and I really get me some turgid wood when somebody goes postal over shit that happens here.............love a fuckin train wreck mon!!!!

So, thats why I'm here.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 2/16/2012 11:33:13 AM >


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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 11:37:27 AM   
Yachtie


Posts: 3593
Joined: 1/18/2012
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I come here for the

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 12:15:49 PM   
FemmeDominion


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/22/2012
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I think folks come to the forums:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommesLesEnigma

Just stirring up the pot..., to learn about things, give advice, get new ideas, share their knowledge, even see if someone thinks like them, or even if their thinking is all wrong,...to be sarcastic, insulting, joke around, the list goes on.



I think to list them as either/or as you did limits the vagaries (used properly?) of a person and their moods.

Personally, first and foremost I come to the forums because, as Lily said, there are people here. Also, I wax philosophical enough in my head and sometimes I just have to get it out and sometime there just happens to be a thread in which I can do so. I often come to the threads because I like to know what makes people tick. I'm rather a loner and I admit to the wide and heavy rock under which I live that keeps me well sheltered. I come to the forums to look for flaws in my own thinking. I'm always happy to learn things in the threads but I'm usually happy to learn thread or not. I look for ways to be a better Domme here. I guess it boils down to the fact that I show up to the threads as I am and attend to them as I am at any given moment.

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o·pin·ion -a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 12:36:59 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
FYI: This thread may moved since it is not geared towards BDSM General. (eta: I see it was moved between the time I started my post and finished it, so.. there ya go.)

I think the best way to figure out why someone is here is to go ahead and read their posting history. Generally, it becomes obvious as you see patterns emerge and then you can decide whether or not you wish to interact with a given poster or even thread, forum or the site itself. You can also hang around and get to know posters first hand (so to speak) and, of course, posters can get to know you as well during those sorts of interactions. Some you will like, a few you might even adore, some you will dislike and a few might drive you bat shit crazy.. it usually balances out if you control your own forum experiences and don't let screen names live rent free in your head.

All of the things you mentioned in the subject title take place here every day.. and on pretty much most forums of every type everywhere around the world because they are populated by people and people are pretty fucking weird so it's to be expected.

~ ~

Now, you don't know me but I would be one of those people who post mostly to share knowledge/communicate in an environment where I can be myself and talk about things that are difficult to bring up during a thread on needle sizes in a forum dedicated to sewing as opposed to a forum dedicated to BDSM. That's my number one thing and I'm quite selfish in that I want other people to share their knowledge as well. I stalk (with consent) the posts of people who share that mindset.

My rule of thumb is to give advice when it's solicited but on rare occasions I will offer it up in general even when it's not because I think it's important and I know there are lurkers who may benefit from it even if the OP doesn't.

Sarcasm and insults - hmm.. well, I prefer parody and satire. I find it to be more effective. For me, humor gets my points across and if someone laughed it's because they actually listened. If someone is screaming at me, I turn a deaf ear, their point is lost and communication has ended. I have been known to sling an insult, but it's rare unless it's congress, then all bets are off.. and you can find a post or two I have presented which may contain a trace amount of sarcasm, but those are exceptions.

Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 1:37:19 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
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Well I guess I am here to both learn from others and share my perspective on a wide range of topics - but with people who are part of the BDSM community. But I do see the forums as a kind of conversation - like a round table discussion - where ideas are discussed, but then someone will throw in a sarcastic comment, someone else will make a joke, we all laugh, then we discuss the issue some more - in other words, like any human interaction there will be varied approaches by people, and varied approaches by the same person, depending on what is going on. And at times I think, when topics are sensitive ones, or when people do not think sufficiently before they write - it can turn insulting or angry - probably not the best approach - but it happens, and I think one has to just develop a bit of a thick skin around some of it. I try not to get angry or insulting, but at times, it isn't easy to always discuss things in a neutral way, especially topics that are emotionally charged.

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 1:58:01 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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OP, you made a thread that was a hot button issue. The only thread that would have been better would be Do fat financial Dommes who are physically abusive to left wing atheists secretly want to be subs? Or some such.

But my point is, when you start or participate in threads that have hot button issues, you must expect to feel the heat. You have to have a certain mindset when posting on those threads. Mine is, I will share my opinion, but TRY not to take others' opinions personally. Try being the operative word. I know not everyone will agree with me and on polarizing topics most may not AND have extremely insulting ways of saying it.

Otoh, there have been times I've posted in a way that is "wrong", and the overwhelming replies to my mistake(s) helped me see those mistakes and do better in the future. (When we know better, we do better.)



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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 2:46:12 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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FR

Another thing to remember.

We all come from vastly different locales, backgrounds, ways of thinking and communicating. What will be perceived as an insult by one person will be perceived as joking around by another. I have a HUGE sarcasm gene. It's part of my sense of humour. Both directed outwards, and also inwards. The people that know me personally, 'get it'. They hear me call myself, in the middle of a blue cursing streak, a stupid clueless bint, or something along those lines, when I've fucked something up and/or made a stupid mistake. If I say to my boss something like "well that was a really brilliant fuck up wasn't it ya moron?" He will SEE the look on my face, he knows me as a human being. We have 11 years of history. So he 'gets' it, and doesn't get upset at all. He will likely either laugh, agree, or both.

On here I try to temper my sarcasm because I know that the way in which I speak doesn't come across via type. It's very easy for people to read nastiness where none was intended.

Also, human beings have a lovely habit of projecting their own shit onto others. It's quite common for people to read more into your words, make assumptions, based on how THEY would feel or what THEIR intent would be.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/16/2012 2:49:51 PM >


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 2:55:58 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
You seem to be expecting the worst...Not the best attitude to be starting in this forum anyway.

To answer your question I don't come here to learn...or to teach...but to entertain myself. I like to discuss the world around me especially the political world. I want to laugh...get mad...fight...and well...kick ass if required. I also get my ass kicked from time to time and I deserve it but I am always gracious in defeat.

I have learned much by defending my positions and attacking others and it is a reward even if not my reason for being here.

So...bottom line...just enjoy yourself and explore whatever interest the forum may provide you.

Butch

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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 3:25:18 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
I think it's best to try to incorporate all four into every post; dummy.

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 3:47:49 PM   
fucktoyprincess


Posts: 2337
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Also, human beings have a lovely habit of projecting their own shit onto others. It's quite common for people to read more into your words, make assumptions, based on how THEY would feel or what THEIR intent would be.


This is quite an important point and it has taken me a while, particularly on Internet forums such as this, to realize to what extent this projection issue is at play (much more so than when discussing things in person with someone).


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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 4:31:23 PM   
Kaliko


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I'm here mostly as just a pleasant (or sometimes agitating) break from my day. For example, I just got done with work, grocery shopping, making and eating dinner, and helping with homework. This is the first time I've sat. It's relaxing, provides me with an atmosphere in which to communicate, but also one in which I don't have to watch my mouth, like I do on Facebook.

Incidentally, as I've had my netbook open on the table while cooking and such, I've also posted on Facebook and Fet, so this isn't always the only place I visit when I'm taking my time outs. I also tend to alternate between forum postings and reading my book.

I've come here for advice a few times, usually on benign topics such as roof dams and vitamin water, but once for something more on-topic.

I do come here to see the postings of a few intriguing favorites of mine. I will actively search out a few posters on a regular basis. If nothing else, it's nice to see someone else put my own thoughts into concise and effective terms in their own post.

I do like to joke around a bit on the boards and I'm trying to loosen up a little. I'm usually fairly quick to make jokes in real life, so...I'm trying to let my hair down a bit more here. But whatever. Either way, I'm still going to sleep alone at night.

Welcome. :)

ETA - oh, and lately I also visit the forums to pass the time while on my elliptical, as I MacGyvered my netbook up to my elliptical with a bungee cord. :)

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 2/16/2012 4:34:25 PM >

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 4:39:15 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

... Either way, I'm still going to sleep alone at night.



I have offered to warm your feet for you ...


Peace and comfort,



Michael


_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: advice vs sarcasm vs sharing knowledge vs insulting - 2/16/2012 4:49:36 PM   
webcamchastity


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/24/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

And I come here to solicit blowjobs, and all I get is sarcasm and insults.

Oh yeah, and I really get me some turgid wood when somebody goes postal over shit that happens here.............love a fuckin train wreck mon!!!!

So, thats why I'm here.

no more trains wrecks, not big ones anyway. These days you call someone a cunt and the whole thread goes poof! and comes back totally fucking neutered.
Remember those daft lesbians? One of them was posting last year during the riots we had over here, encouraging the mayhem, claiming she was trying to help the rioters burn and destroy. People died in those riots and others lost their homes and everything they had worked for all their lives.
None of those fucking posts were pulled, yet now you have a go at someone or say something a little contentious( or maybe just plain rude) and it's like you've walking into a bar mitzvar dressed as Hitler.
Since when was a slanging mtch worse than incitement to kill and destroy?
What an off topic cunt I am!

(in reply to mnottertail)
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