RE: How to manage a dom advice? (Full Version)

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TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/17/2012 7:39:29 PM)

No sock puppet here, whatever that means. We share a computer and I found this place by following the link in the history. Just trying to understand the lifestyle to better handle situations in the workplace.




NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/17/2012 8:29:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FemmeDominion
Which makes me wonder how this poster found this site

I don't know how he found it, but I found it by googling "free bdsm websites." lol

NBMG




ultimatedomme -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/17/2012 11:17:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

No sock puppet here, whatever that means. We share a computer and I found this place by following the link in the history. Just trying to understand the lifestyle to better handle situations in the workplace.


Pssst, if you don't know what it means, how do you know if in fact you are or are not a sock puppet?

So, this right hand Domme is using the work computer to play on BDSM sites and your concern is how it's going to affect work situations? Right then, she's stealing from you seeing as the work computer is being used for leisure activities, probably on company time. But you must have already suspected as much since you've been checking that browse history, eh BootyMan?




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 4:11:58 AM)

Because a sock puppet sounds like something stupid. I think I'm leaning more to being a master. I let her play some on the web. In fact I let her do a lot of things during the work hours that I probably shouldn't allow. That's why I asked the question in the first place. If I give her too much freedom will her Dom nature completely take over and will I risk losing complete control? What's the deal with all this stuff anyway? Born this way or shitty childhoods? Please enlighten me. Seems all kind of goofy no offense.




FemmeDominion -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 5:06:54 AM)

quote:

Because a sock puppet sounds like something stupid. I think I'm leaning more to being a master. I let her play some on the web. In fact I let her do a lot of things during the work hours that I probably shouldn't allow. That's why I asked the question in the first place. If I give her too much freedom will her Dom nature completely take over and will I risk losing complete control? What's the deal with all this stuff anyway? Born this way or shitty childhoods? Please enlighten me. Seems all kind of goofy no offense.


Okay, I'll play.

If you're a "master" be one - on your own time. Work is not the time to pull out your whip and you dick.

If you're her boss act like her boss. If you're letting her take liberties with your time and your money then the fault lies with you.

I think you asked the question in the first place, and this is my opinion, because on some level you want to engage her as the Domme. Don't. You're looking for a lawsuit. I thought you liked your company? Why would you want to give it away to this employee?

Are you a dancer? A father? A writer? A husband? Do any other aspects of your life overwhelm all the others? I would guess not. What makes you think this will happen to her too? You make participating in BDSM activities sound like a aggressive cancer. You two butt heads because she's a strong willed woman. That or maybe she doesn't respect you. The question is can you work with a woman who knows her own mind.

If you can loose complete control when some woman shows her confident, capable side I'm guessing you need to be looking at the submissive side of things - in my personal opinion.

And where is your gratitude? Where is the post where you thank all the other posters for the good advice, that you specifically came here and asked for, that you've gotten so far? Your fragile ego such that all these mean things said outweigh all the great advice you've been given? I'd hate to be your employee if all you can do is find fault and cannot acknowledge what good has happened especially when your ego has a little dent in it. Where's the confident guy who created his own business?

Why are you not talking to her about this? "Are your BDSM activities going to effect your work in this office?" You then respond according to your needs as a business owner according to her answer. You've supposedly already had the first part of the conversation go ahead and have the rest.

ETA: I needed to add a letter.




DarkSteven -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 5:57:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

I think I'm leaning more to being a master.



No way.  Your style is absolutely not Domlike in the least. 
quote:



I let her play some on the web. In fact I let her do a lot of things during the work hours that I probably shouldn't allow. That's why I asked the question in the first place. If I give her too much freedom will her Dom nature completely take over and will I risk losing complete control?

  Here's the current hierarchy:

1. Her
2. Buncha strangers on an Internet forum
3. You

To what control do you refer?
quote:



What's the deal with all this stuff anyway? Born this way or shitty childhoods? Please enlighten me. Seems all kind of goofy no offense.



Lemme get this straight.  You're supposedly a business owner *cough, cough*.  You're supposed to be training your right hand person.  You're in the middle of a power struggle with her, and she's spending work time surfing collarme.  Your response is to ask questions about the lifestyle itself.

A real business owner:

1. Would have fired her ass by now for not doing as she's told.
2. Would have restricted her Internet use.
3. Would have no idea about her lifestyle, only her work.
4. Would be frantically addressing his neglected business instead of asking questions about the lifestyle.
5.  Would be writing clear, direct, concise statements.  Your style is vague.

Nice try, bro.




lizi -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 6:07:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Because a sock puppet sounds like something stupid. I think I'm leaning more to being a master. I let her play some on the web. In fact I let her do a lot of things during the work hours that I probably shouldn't allow. That's why I asked the question in the first place. If I give her too much freedom will her Dom nature completely take over and will I risk losing complete control? What's the deal with all this stuff anyway? Born this way or shitty childhoods? Please enlighten me. Seems all kind of goofy no offense.



BS. If it's all goofy and we're acting out unresolved drama from childhood then why are you here with a sexual name like TheBootyMan calling yourself a Dominant male? Why are you asking with apparent term familiarity about Doms, Mistresses, slaves, and the act of being Dominant? If you happened to just stumble up on this site it would take you a little while to up to posting speed at least and know what you were doing in this unfamiliar world.

Unless someone had a prurient interest in Dominant women why would it matter to you to relate to her on the level of her sexual orientation and not just as an employee? If you were a smart business owner, you'd avoid anything at all to do with sexual matters as that is the fast track to huge issues and complications, possibly legal. I sincerely doubt that you are a business owner in any way much less a successful one since you would know to stay away from hot button issues and not pursue them. It gets you off, like in the last thread you started, to think of a business arrangement with a Domme. Which is fine, but having everyone on under false pretenses isn't.




ultimatedomme -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 10:17:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Because a sock puppet sounds like something stupid. I think I'm leaning more to being a master. I let her play some on the web. In fact I let her do a lot of things during the work hours that I probably shouldn't allow. That's why I asked the question in the first place. If I give her too much freedom will her Dom nature completely take over and will I risk losing complete control? What's the deal with all this stuff anyway? Born this way or shitty childhoods? Please enlighten me. Seems all kind of goofy no offense.



Oh dear me, you've uncovered her evil plot to subjugate you and take over your company, yes, yes, i'm afraid it's true. Her Domme nature will begin to come to the fore and overwhelm all in her path, totally taking over the company, bringing in competent people and relegating you to the mail room or the janitor's closet.

It's rather cute how you've been ignoring the common sense answers to your OP and not letting your fantasy scenario be derailed.




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 2:32:18 PM)

Hey all, thanks for the advice. I learned something else today that is going to test us considerably. I promised not to discuss with anyone though. I have another question about a friend of mine that I believe needs to be in another topic.




Lockit -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 2:34:50 PM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D] 




DarkSteven -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 2:36:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Hey all, thanks for the advice. I learned something else today that is going to test us considerably. I promised not to discuss with anyone though. I have another question about a friend of mine that I believe needs to be in another topic.


Prelude to another sock?




servuspet -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/18/2012 10:53:32 PM)

I'm confused.




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 9:39:24 AM)

He got socks on his brain.




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 11:18:50 AM)

Censorship. Surprising.




JeffBC -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 12:11:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan
No sock puppet here, whatever that means. We share a computer and I found this place by following the link in the history. Just trying to understand the lifestyle to better handle situations in the workplace.

Well, despite the paranoid concerns of some folks on this thread, I'm gonna go with this as stated. I find it particularly plausible since I had one particular employee that, in hindsight, was submissive. We never talked about their family life and I wouldn't even have known to apply that word to someone at that point. But I gotta say that I've wished a million times that I'd owned Carol before trying to manage that person. I don't think I did a poor job managing them but in hindsight I could have done so much better.

I have to admit, the whole "how did you find collarme" (arguably one of the two biggest BDSM sites on the internet) is pretty hilarious. I don't think it's all that hard to find collarme.

So, to the specific advice.

A) For most people there seems to be little or no relationship between social dominance and BDSM dominance (those are my two phrases I use to capture the split in my own head, not anything even remotely generally accepted). So I'd be very careful about assuming anything at all. In fact, an awful lot of BDSM doms are fairly socially submissive and an awful lot of BDSM slaves are fairly socially dominant. So just be careful assuming anything at all about how her interactions with her slave might be affecting her relationship with you.

B) In the BDSM world, "dominance" doesn't always mean "getting someone to do what you want". In point of fact, more often than not it means "getting someone to participate in a hot sex fantasy". That's why some of the posters on this thread automatically assumed sexual tones. So when you hear this woman is a mistress to a few slaves, you still don't know much about what that means. For all you know it means that she struts around in latex and thigh-highs and barks out harsh commands while they eat from dog-food bowls. It may have absolutely nothing to do with dominance as you understand the concept (or me for that matter).

C) If this woman is sexually dominant AND she is stupid enough to think that behavior will translate well to work then the easy no-brainer answer is can her ass and get someone more mature. The same answer applies if she is socially dominant AND stupid enough to not understand relative situational hierarchy.

D) So really then, the only part of this that's a problem is if she's socially dominant and she does get relative hierarchy. In that case, just treat her like any other well adjusted "Type A" or "alpha" or whatever word you like to use to mean "aggressive, self-directed go-getter who maybe has some leadership and team-building skills". You already know the type. There's no need to confuse it with BDSM imagery.




servuspet -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 1:30:23 PM)

No.
I'm confused by your situation.
People have asked questions, trying to clear it up. And pointed out why your story doesn't make sense.
And you haven't answered it, or cleared anything up.
I'm still confused.




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 2:22:07 PM)

Yeah, thats too bad. I'm confused too or maybe just concerned why my other topic was deleted. Hate to see things like that. That happens all the time here?




kalikshama -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/19/2012 3:10:07 PM)

Check to see if you got an email from the mods explaining what happened to your posts on your other thread.




GloriousMorning -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/20/2012 12:36:45 AM)

I feel that if the OP and the employee grasp that it's not appropriate to be viewing adult websites on company time, then there would be a starting point for discussing an action plan.
The "boss" shouldn't allow an employee's sexual preference to dictate how to utilizes their skills, and the "employee" shouldn't be bringing their "lifestyle" to work.

This does seem like such an unlikely scenario, I can't think of a single reason why anyone in a leadership position would keep an employee who browsed adult websites on a company computer during working hours.




TheBootyMan -> RE: How to manage a dom advice? (2/20/2012 4:39:58 AM)

Such a cynical lot. Trust must be an issue for many of you, yes? I don't mind her checking this place out when we have a little down time Not that big of a deal. I check out porn sites on my laptop on occasion. It's that friggin Facebook that's got to go.




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