xssve
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Joined: 10/10/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: poise
quote:
ORIGINAL: xssve
I'm firmly in the take-it-slow/plenty of lube camp, although masochistic bottoms are
often jaundiced on the idea - I love a ruined asshole as much as the next guy, but I
need sex like every day, and I don't want to wait around a month for it to heal up.
Everybody is different of course, but I believe in breaking it in slowly, it is a bit more
tender than other orifices, so I tend to be more careful initially - it's a good thing!
I'm different, as in I prefer it fast and hard. Slow and easy for me gives my mind too much
time to think about how much it's gonna hurt, etc, which makes it harder for me to loosen up.
I'm glad you posted this, xssve, as I wanted to respond to this thread (I adore Lilly and her posts)
but couldn't find myself just coming in and saying "I like it fast and hard."
Well that helps, if you do have some experience and preferences to share them beforehand - I only know one chick here, an occasional fuckbuddy, who is into anal - partially the result of a botched hysterectomy - and she likes it fast and hard too, and it doesn't seem to cause her much physical trauma, some chicks are just tough that way I guess. 
I do love foreplay and using my hands on a woman, so at some point I usually go there and try to get some idea what her reaction is going to be beforehand, but my GF claims not to like foreplay and prefers to be basically raped with no warm up, but also claims her ass clenches shut, which makes me suspect something akin to vaginisimus, which is an involuntary muscle spasm - this too is something I'd like to avoid as it makes vaginal sex painful or near impossible, and presumably has the same effect w/regard to anal - it's not an uncommon physical reaction among women who have suffered rape, the real thing, or abuse, and being involuntary, it tends to persist even when they are having sex under more pleasurable conditions.
Anyway, I have a trick I used on my ex, which is inserting a chunk of Queen Helena 100% pure cocoa butter like a suppository - it comes in a small tube, about Three inches long and an inch in diameter, it acts as sort of a dissolving suppository, and it used to drive her nuts when were having vaginal sex, kind of like a DP I imagine.
It isn't real slippery, so if you need a lot of lube it's going to be inadequate, but it does provide some lubrication without greatly reducing friction, and it gets you used to having something your ass. Combined with a little Vitamin E oil, it also probably promotes tissue flexibility and resilience.
It takes a long time to melt completely however, like all day, so it's something that needs to be thought of well in advance, although you can also play with pushing it in and out, and pushing out facilitates easier penetration, and that can take a bit of practice since it's counter-intuitive.
Since it's a solid with a very low melting point (body temperature), you can melt down a bunch of it and recast it in larger sizes to make a self lubricating dildo or plug, I have a nicely sized, tapered and flared vase for just that purpose. 
< Message edited by xssve -- 2/19/2012 6:32:24 AM >
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