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JeffBC -> RE: Finding a master (2/21/2012 1:14:32 PM)
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Welcome to Collarme. I took a look at your profile and I think you're doing fine. I also think that the advice you've been given here is all excellent advice. I'll toss in some other things. These are personal viewpoints, not "how it must be done".
- Be careful with the "total control" thing. To me it reads as "lost in fantasy" since I sincerely doubt your definition of "total" and mine are even remotely aligned. Your profile handles it better than you did in short words in this post.
- Resist labels, tight little boxes, and other people's definitions of who you "should" be. In the end, I'm not a "master". I'm some guy who bosses his wife around. Different people call it different things. I call it "being Carol & Jeff". Along these same lines, you will never be a true master, slave, top, bottom, left or right. You can, however be a true "you". Go with that.
- NEVER use that word "true" in this context. It speaks of unrealistic expectations as well as a limited world-view. You're not looking for a "true master". You're looking for one who's compatible with YOU. Consider that I am a "true master" for Carol and probably aren't for you. You just don't want to go around offending everyone sight unseen in that way.
For me, what I appreciate in a s-type is someone who reads as knowing themselves reasonably well and having their feet reasonably firmly planted in some reality that I can recognize. I still may or may not be attracted to them and/or compatible with them but I like talking with and being around s-types that are stable and mature.
I hope any of that helps.
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