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Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 12:43:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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So it seems we're in full blast weddingpallooza season here, so I figured I'd open up to hear stuff.

Stories, traditions, preferences.

Two questions I have:

Why on earth do people getting married ever believe it's OK to suggest/order giving money as gifts in their invitations?

Is it true that having a "fake cake" (one for the pictures and show, with a sheet cake version to give to guests) is viewed as cheap and tacky?

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 12:58:22 PM   
lisa1978


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From: Kansas City
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Money - Depends on location, customs and social classes. I grew up giving money would have been frowned upon as highly tacky, but there are plenty of areas and what not that the tradition of giving money is perfectly OK. I think now between the global communications and more and more stirring of the melting pot, mixed with it is always about me mentality, you are getting people more and more blunt in asking for what they want. Class is losing ground fast.

Fake cake - Never seen that. That sounds incredibly tacky and insulting. I been to many weddings that were not fancy and done to control cost at a premium and nobody looked down or complained about things. It is suppose to be a celebration about who you are and not about how special you think you are or want to be.

I had the pleasure last month to attend a wedding were half of the people attending in jeans, sneakers and for the most part button down shirts.


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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 1:12:38 PM   
pahunkboy


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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Elope- it is cheaper.  ;-0

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 1:25:25 PM   
sub4hire


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Let's see, Doug and I are getting married in less than a week in the midwest.  Been planned for over a year yet I am still calling it "impromptu"
There will be no big ugly white dress for me but a pink and tan sundress.  There will be no tux for him but work clothes.
We have asked people to celebrate with us, not give us gifts. 
As far as the fake cake thing goes.  It was suggested to us by more than one baker.  The story we got is "we don't move wedding cakes"
My response was put simply.  "In all the weddings I've been to over the years I can remember a single one where we all went to the bakery to eat a slice of cake"
Of course I didn't get a response other than disgust.  Though it personally disgusted me when I was told to have a fake cake and a sheet cake for the guests.
That is my story, though I can't remember ever once in my life following the crowd or the trend.
Small with only 50 guests..all family and good friends.  Nobody else permitted.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 1:25:40 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
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My search pulled up eight pages of Topics on this subject.
 
It's hard to believe there's anything left to say.
 
pinkee

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 1:39:16 PM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I would not do the plastic cake thing and when I was in catering I never saw one.

As far as the requests for money, I thought registering at certain stores was still a form of... "buy what I want, not what you want as my gift". I have seen invites that asked for NO gifts at all as the couples in question were on their second or third marriages and they didnt need another toaster. I have seen only one of these that asked that all wedding gifts be given to the bride and groom's favorite charity because they had everything they needed. I thought that was WAY classy personally.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 3:32:03 PM   
angelface183


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quote:

  Why on earth do people getting married ever believe it's OK to suggest/order giving money as gifts in their invitations?


There should be no mention of gifts, monetary or otherwise, in an invitation of any kind.  To do so is just plain tacky and shows a lack of class.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 3:38:36 PM   
proudsub


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From: Washington
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Don't remind me.  This time last year i was frantically planning my daughter's wedding, now she is in the process of divorce since he walked out on her twice.
Oh well, we did have a great party in Vegas, and brought family members together who hadn't seen each other in a long time.

quote:

Let's see, Doug and I are getting married in less than a week in the midwest 


Wow Gloria, congrats to both of you, hope it goes smoothly.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 6:17:11 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Why on earth do people getting married ever believe it's OK to suggest/order giving money as gifts in their invitations?


Because some people have no class at all.  You can add to the list the classless those who put little cards telling where they're registered in with their invitations.  It's tacky, no matter what the practical reasons.  You're inviting someone to a wedding, not a gift-giving session.

quote:

Is it true that having a "fake cake" (one for the pictures and show, with a sheet cake version to give to guests) is viewed as cheap and tacky? 


I think so.  I see no reason not to have a simpler, or smaller wedding cake, with sheet cakes to supplement.  However, a fake cake is just ridiculous.  It defeats the purpose of having it, don't you think?

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 7:12:38 PM   
kisshou


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It is not people getting married that does it, it is people who have dreampt of a huge wedding their whole life and are all caught up in making that vision a reality.  I have never seen anyone ask for money in an invitation. Bizarre
I think having a small display cake for photos and the cake feeding ceremony seems practical, while that is going on the dessert cake can be sliced and served.

I am with pahunkboy on this one though, elope!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 7:38:58 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub


Wow Gloria, congrats to both of you, hope it goes smoothly.


Thanks Proud but as you know we've been together longer than most married couples already.  Just proof positive you can make a lifestyle relationship last and last.
The ceremony is only to make it legal in the states eyes now.

(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 7:50:10 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So it seems we're in full blast weddingpallooza season here, so I figured I'd open up to hear stuff.

Stories, traditions, preferences.

Two questions I have:

Why on earth do people getting married ever believe it's OK to suggest/order giving money as gifts in their invitations?
It's tacky.  I've never seen a wedding invitation mention gifts or money.  I will say, however, that in some cultures, money is given during the reception, but it's a tradition thing, not something the couple put on their invitiation. 

Is it true that having a "fake cake" (one for the pictures and show, with a sheet cake version to give to guests) is viewed as cheap and tacky?

I'm a cake decorator.  I've yet to have anyone ask for a fake cake, although it's not unheard of.  Actually, I was reading recently that it's a common practice in China (I think, I don't remember precisely), to rent a fake cake and serve sheet cakes.  The fake cakes even have an opening for the cutting-the-cake photo.  That said, I can't honestly say that if I were to do a fake cake that it would be any cheaper than a real one.  The cost of the cake itself is relatively inexpensive.  The costs mount up for using fondant, gumpaste flowers, ribbons, drapes, bows, etc.  I can also show you fake cakes that you'd never realize they were fake.  They're not unattractive or tacky at all, I think it's just the IDEA that's unattractive and tacky to people.  I am in the planning stages of my cake for the Oklahoma Sugar Art Show in October (the one they show on food network) and it will be a fake cake.  Most of the cakes entries are decorated styrofoam dummies.  Of course, the focus is on the decorating techniques and not taste!  If money is an issue, I will suggest a smaller wedding cake and supplementing that with sheet cakes.  Of course, that technique works best if, once cut, the wedding cake is removed to the kitchen and cake is served by servers.  Once the cake goes back to the kitchen, no one is the wiser whether their particular slice came from the wedding cake or a sheet cake.  All you're getting is a 1" X 2" or perhaps 2" X 2" slice anyway.  Grooms cakes have also increased in price, as it's become popular for them to be a novelty type cake.  Something that illustrates the groom's interests.  There is the standard chocolate cake, but more and more people are choosing novelty cakes.  Coolers with sugar bottle beers and sugar ice...tool chests...popcorn and movie cakes...the sky is pretty much the limit and these can cost just as much as the bride's cake. 
 
Ok..'nuff said about that...sorry...lol  I get carried away about cakes.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 8:01:26 PM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Let's see, Doug and I are getting married in less than a week in the midwest.  Been planned for over a year yet I am still calling it "impromptu"
There will be no big ugly white dress for me but a pink and tan sundress.  There will be no tux for him but work clothes.
We have asked people to celebrate with us, not give us gifts. 
As far as the fake cake thing goes.  It was suggested to us by more than one baker.  The story we got is "we don't move wedding cakes"
My response was put simply.  "In all the weddings I've been to over the years I can remember a single one where we all went to the bakery to eat a slice of cake"
Of course I didn't get a response other than disgust.  Though it personally disgusted me when I was told to have a fake cake and a sheet cake for the guests.
That is my story, though I can't remember ever once in my life following the crowd or the trend.
Small with only 50 guests..all family and good friends.  Nobody else permitted.



Hey!  Where is my invitation?  And i wanna see pictures afterwards.  Congratulations, sub4hire, my Y/you have all the happiness Y/your hearts can hold, all Y/your long lives.
 
pinkee

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 8:02:50 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

Is it true that having a "fake cake" (one for the pictures and show, with a sheet cake version to give to guests) is viewed as cheap and tacky?


Hell yeah it is! Real cakes only!

I was in a wedding three weeks ago and the best part about it was the cake and the cake fight near the end. The cake fight ended with about ten people being tossed into the pool - And I wasn't one of them




 - R


< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 6/2/2006 8:06:25 PM >


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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 8:04:21 PM   
sub4hire


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Pink, you had an invite month's ago.  I think Doug invited you himself as well at one point.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 8:59:20 PM   
elb


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Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline
I'm so glad my brothers wedding is over, with a bridal party of 20, plus both kids in it, im broke....i did what i could and yet im still way behind on my house bills, and all for what, along with having the car accident and feeling like i was hit by a truck, physical therapy every day.........so all i can say on this subject is ELOPE!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 9:01:50 PM   
elb


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Oooopsss posted on other name lol

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 9:04:13 PM   
SpankMuhButt


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OK lets try this again, not sure why my posts are showing up under my other name. didnt want to confuse anyone since i have been posting with spankmuhbutt as long as Ive been on the forums
sorry about that guys


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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 9:08:49 PM   
MsMacComb


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Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpankMuhButt

OK lets try this again, not sure why my posts are showing up under my other name. didnt want to confuse anyone since i have been posting with spankmuhbutt as long as Ive been on the forums
sorry about that guys
 

All I can say is that I much prefer "SpankMuhButt" to your other name.

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RE: Wedding Season - 6/2/2006 9:28:39 PM   
SpankMuhButt


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LOL thank you.....actually elb was made as a goof cause thats what my Master calls me.......it stands for evil little bitch....imagine someone calling "ME" that? lol

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If you had one shot, one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted, One moment, Would you capture it or just let it slip?

gina

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