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RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 5:24:10 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/4/2012 5:52:29 AM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 301
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:03:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

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(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 302
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:05:56 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Oh wow, um, speak for yourself only please.

For YOU, "the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. " b/c you are a supreme game player in my opinion (in a very passive/aggressive way), not to mention mentally unstable (again, my opinion) and highly ignorant about a healthy M/s dynamic.

So I agree with you in that it is not a dynamic you should seek.

That you continue to speak for other people when you should at this point have some small understanding of your level of ignorance about healthy M/s and D/s relationships speaks volumes.

Make sure and keep that counselor appointment.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 303
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:18:40 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Oh wow, um, speak for yourself only please.

For YOU, "the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. " b/c you are a supreme game player in my opinion (in a very passive/aggressive way), not to mention mentally unstable (again, my opinion) and highly ignorant about a healthy M/s dynamic.

So I agree with you in that it is not a dynamic you should seek.

That you continue to speak for other people when you should at this point have some small understanding of your level of ignorance about healthy M/s and D/s relationships speaks volumes.

Make sure and keep that counselor appointment.


HIt a nerve? lol. Its my thread, so I can speak volumes, state my opinion, flip flop, etc etc etc.
If people enjoy giving up their minds and total power let them. BUt sometimes people get in situatons craving and needing something the desperately want to find in another human being, only to find..............didnt make it better, made it worse. They need to work on themselves, not give power to someone else. Someone else isnt gonna fix it.

People change their minds everyday, flip flop back and forth on decisions, way options and consequences.

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers

If I am a supreme manipulator and game player, I think that qualifies me as a DOM.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/4/2012 6:47:40 AM >

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 304
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:22:59 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY


You really don't get it, but it's not hard to figure out why- you have too much on your plate with your other issues. Maybe instead of striving for understanding you might just rest on the point that you really don't get it, and let those of us who do take care of our own lives.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 305
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:30:04 AM   
VideoAdminXi


Posts: 1213
Joined: 8/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Its my thread, so I can speak volumes, state my opinion, flip flop, etc etc etc.


An FYI. The user who starts a thread does not have rights of ownership nor carte blanche to violate the Terms of Service. The TOS apply to everyone equally.

_____________________________

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(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 306
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:30:59 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY


You really don't get it, but it's not hard to figure out why- you have too much on your plate with your other issues. Maybe instead of striving for understanding you might just rest on the point that you really don't get it, and let those of us who do take care of our own lives.


No HOney I do get it. I am speaking to the ones who might find this thread, and I am asking them to think long and hard before giving up their own free will and putting themsleves in a terrible situation that might harm them or their family.
I do have alot of external issues, that is correct, but regardless...
YOU WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT ME WARNING PEOPLE OF THE HAZARDS? GET your mind back. I wasnt speaking to you, if you are treated right thats wonderful im glad.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 307
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:33:08 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It's preached here quite often to be careful who you enter into an arrangement such as this with. Picking your partner is probably the single most important thing you'll do in this lifestyle. That, and acting with integrity.

_____________________________

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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 308
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 6:38:41 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

It's preached here quite often to be careful who you enter into an arrangement such as this with. Picking your partner is probably the single most important thing you'll do in this lifestyle. That, and acting with integrity.

Thats all I was trying to say. Thank you.
One can see how crazy things can be or make you if you enter the wrong relationship, put your trust in the wrong person, do the wrong things. This thread is proof.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 309
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:12:55 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		Same goes with vanilla relationships . Take your time and find the right fit .

_____________________________

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(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 310
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:18:37 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		huh...I'm in an M/s relationship and I've never felt more safe, more cared for, more responsible, happier than I've been in years. Yeah you had a bad experience. Everyone has them...bdsm, kink, gay, straight, vanilla, whatever. And you my dear, are married and unhappy in that marriage and therefore I find your situation more dangerous than any other relationship out there. You're playing with fire. Good luck with that.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 311
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 7:21:18 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers


I hope you're seeing a kink aware or friendly therapist and don't come back with some sort of "BDSM is wrong" pointer.

I saw a therapist who was kink friendly when we started and kink aware when we finished. I was always amused and gratified when he demonstrated he'd been reading up.

He never made me wrong for my predilection for BDSM, but pointed out the shortcomings in my partners and poor decision making that was leading to these choices.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 312
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 8:41:15 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Ill keep my counselor appt, and come back and give you some pointers


I hope you're seeing a kink aware or friendly therapist and don't come back with some sort of "BDSM is wrong" pointer.

I saw a therapist who was kink friendly when we started and kink aware when we finished. I was always amused and gratified when he demonstrated he'd been reading up.

He never made me wrong for my predilection for BDSM, but pointed out the shortcomings in my partners and poor decision making that was leading to these choices.


I am not going to listen to "ITS WRONG" honestly didnt ask if they were kink friendly and dont feel comfy asking. If they start with that concept then its the wrong counselor for me. I dont think its wrong, the right situation I think it could be a truly beauitful set up.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 313
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 9:54:23 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

huh...I'm in an M/s relationship and I've never felt more safe, more cared for, more responsible, happier than I've been in years. Yeah you had a bad experience. Everyone has them...bdsm, kink, gay, straight, vanilla, whatever. And you my dear, are married and unhappy in that marriage and therefore I find your situation more dangerous than any other relationship out there. You're playing with fire. Good luck with that.



I am very happy for you.

I am not asking you this question but when I read that I thought of this question.

WHo is the woman without the master? Is the woman able to stand on their own two feet, able to make their own decisions, be whole on their own. If the answer to the question is yes then I think the master/slave thing can be a match made in heaven. Is the person a strong independent person alone. personally opinion here of course.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 314
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 10:11:18 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

<snip>... my ramblings...


Screen name fits. 'Nuff said.

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Profile   Post #: 315
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 12:57:08 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Did your imaginary sports car make your flung cigarette fly into your eyes, causing you to run off the road and jam one of your long legs into your forehead, causing you to get amnesia and forget you said you were done here?

Or, are you just batshit crazy?

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yep

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 316
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:00:09 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Did your imaginary sports car make your flung cigarette fly into your eyes, causing you to run off the road and jam one of your long legs into your forehead, causing you to get amnesia and forget you said you were done here?

Or, are you just batshit crazy?


I am gonna go with this.

The ongoing yada yada yada reminds me of a tamistar trainwreck.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 317
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:08:37 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am gonna go with this.

The ongoing yada yada yada reminds me of a tamistar trainwreck.


There is that. At least there is only the one profile here, supposedly, to keep track of instead of people continually posting as others and thinking no one knows the difference.

To be fair, the OP considers it her duty now to warn others of making horrible mistakes.
It'll keep changing.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 318
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 1:33:12 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Oh LOrd! More I think about this situation longer Im out of it I want to "slap the shit out of myself" I think I flipped my freakin wig!

Not to offend anyone, but Im sure I will...I think the whole master slave thing really boils down to a very dangerous game. Take the kink out of it (LORD KNOWS I DIDNT GET ANy GOOD KINK) and its really about a slave being irresponsible.

I keep hearing this talk about slaves taking responsiblity, but isnt a dom actually asking a person to become irresponisble by a person giving up their own free will? When I think about it, being a slave is like saying "I am incapable of making good decisions so I will give it up to someone who might make a good decision or MIGHT NOT" More I think about all this the more mindless it becomes. I definitely think without an exceptional master, a slave position does nothing but intensify any insecurities a person might have. A dangerous pyschological play.
It still is amazing to me how he got me there.

If just one young girl, one middle aged woman, one person period no matter what place they are in life or in their head reads this and decides to get out of a bad situation, my ramblings are worth it. TOTALLY.


I did not give up my scruples nor my common sense when I entered into this relationship that evolved into M/s.
I did not kick my morality to the curb.

Truth is, I actually reconnected with my moral compass within this relationship.
I have not abdicated my personal responsibility; in fact I am held accountable to it.

You behaved like someone in the throes of subfrenzy.

Your-all-over-the-place thought process really isn't showing that you are stable enough to be in any relationship right now, but since you are in a marriage, perhaps you could focus on that?

Compelling dominant men can be difficult to resist.
However, knowing one's self well enough to know when one's boundaries are being moved (which can't happen if you don't allow it) and keeping to one's moral center is something one should be able to do in any relationship.
If you can't do that then I personally think your ability to identify right from wrong is probably already compromised. If you don't know what is right for you and continue to run your life according to your "little head" then you will keep finding yourself in messes.

It isn't really about needing to have an "exceptional Master". It is about choosing one who doesn't exploit your personal package of insecurities; again your responsibility.
Interesting question isn't it: why would you choose someone who does?

I discovered too, that without the ability to have a strong personal "No!" then yes has no real meaning.


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(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 319
RE: Update on Master does not want to have sex - 3/4/2012 2:53:28 PM   
FlGirlSeeksOwner


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/25/2011
Status: offline 		All i can say is good luck. Please do not involve your kids. And make sure they do not suffer financially if things go wrong.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 320
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