quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

I hate to sound flippant, but I think the answer to this one is pretty simple.

Master: Is your mind wandering?

You: No.

Pretty simple, isn't it. Even if you're actually thinking about 12 other things simultaneously, he doesn't have to know that. After all, unless he has some type of mutant mind-reading powers, how will he know? [;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

OP:

Minds wander.
Ask yourself first, do you have trouble focusing on other tasks through the day? IE taks s at work, or things to be done around the home? Are you perfectly fine being able to focus on tasks besides the ones he gives you? If so then the problem is not with you, it may just be that the tasks he gives are not very interesting to you and it takes you awhile to warm up to them. He can;t control what goes on in your head, he should set more realistic goals, IE, "Have task done in X amount of time" Or, "Do not leave desk until task is done, save for obvious exceptions like cleaning cat puke."

Your mind is made to multi-task, if you try to destroy that brilliant function you will frustrate yourself, and more than likely end up failing, which will make you feel bad, when really it's just stupid to set such an unrealistic expectation. He should be setting a more measurable goal for your tasking, not vague ones that can neither be measured nor definitively accomplished.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess
Ah, if this is the issue, I'm with those who have suggested the breathing techniques, but also to look into some stress management techniques for yourself. Personally, I find exercise helps a lot. Taking time out of my day to reflect helps me, too. I have friends who are able to download their stress onto a talisman (like a shell that they picked up on the beach). They start their day by "downloading" their anxieties onto the shell. Leaving them there, so to speak. My mother's coping mechanism for anxiety and stress is religion. But I really think techniques are quite personal to us, and that what works for one may not work for another. Stress kills. So there are many reasons why you would want to learn to control your stress - and I think that would be a very positive thing for you to do.

In other words, managing stress is not actually the same as trying to focus. I think you will get better focus and concentration by managing your stress, but simply trying to stay focused in and of itself is not likely to get you there. I hope that makes sense.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oooh, I'm a huge meditator. good thing too, cuz otherwise my ADD would send me into outer space.
You say you've tried breathing techniques before...have you done the 8 count?

It goes like this.
Breathe in slow through the nose for an 8 count in smooth even breaths, expanding the diaphragm outwards until ya get that fatboy look.
Then hold for an 8 count...and I mean 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand sort of counting.
Then slowly exhale through the nose, letting the diaphragm collapse, for another 8 count, smooth slow exhalation.
Then hold for an 8 count before starting the process over.

If you haven't tried it, give it a shot. I have found it to be great for centering...even for folks with hyper minds like mine. Something in the combination of focusing on the count and the breathing method itself, allow me to lock in like I rarely can when I am not practicing controlled breathing.

Best of all it's a simple meditative tool that can be used anytime, anywhere, needing only bout 10 breathes to change my focus. Heck, try it now, give it a shot while you're reading this. It works. It really does.

Grins.
I use this a lot in heavy play. She has a tendency, as do many subs, to kinda freak out when the real sadism starts, and often starts to flip in her head, hyperventilating in fear. I get her to control her breathing, it slows her heart, allows her to get control of her runaway mind, stills her body, drops her into subspace quicker, and the scenes go much much better.

Chortles. And if all else fails, try heroin. Works wonders for stilling the reptile mind...so I've heard :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I'm not much of a meditator - the only time I can quiet my mind enough to meditate is after practicing yoga. That is, after all, why yoga was developed - to quiet the chattering monkey mind.

You could practice yoga before you start your tasks. Or accept that some wandering is normal otherwise.

ps - When I needed intense focus at work I listened to an instrumental.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

+1 for yoga (especially restorative). I have the worst monkey mind of anyone I know and to date, can't sit and meditate. Yoga is a moving meditation that's allowed me to at least slow the monkey WAAAAY down. As a dominant, I also teach yoga to my partners and use certain techniques before, during, and after a scene.

Yoga's just damn good for you in lots of ways.

Re: instrumental music for focus: I love Fit Factory's 'Tadasana' available on Amazon. It's soothingly tonal without having a melody or lyrics to distract you with song recognition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnEquinox



My mind wanders all the time. However, I seem quite capable of functioning when my mind wanders. I can maintain my job, with my mind wandering. I do have a problem with procrastination (although I'm a good girl and don't procrastinate when he gives me a task). But I seem quite capable of giving a presentation to clients and thinking about what I need to do when I get home. Maybe I'd give a 2% better presentation if my mind didn't wander? Possibly.

Adrenalin, something incredibly new, a nice mixture of pain and pleasure, or he actually being there all help me keep my mind from wandering. But when he isn't there, I wander again. (When I'm with him, I may wander a tiny bit, but mostly to "do I look cute enough" memes.)

Right now, he believes he is part of this, and wants to give me different things to focus on and wants me just to tell him how I reacted to them. I don't think he is setting unrealistic expectations. (And I have been with men who did.) All he wants is for me to be open to change, and I'm finding that my experiences with Buddhism make me feel like I cannot achieve it. (I know meditation isn't exactly the same thing, but the brand of Buddhism I latched onto the most is the John Kabbat Zinn variety, and that is taking "mindfulness" and applying it to everything. My family is kind of hard-core Buddhist. (Everyone but me meditates for at least an hour a day, and does 1-3 months a year of retreats.) I got to a point where I rejected Buddhism for me. I'm really not Buddhist for several reasons (although I respect that it does have a lot of valuable things.) But I think if I didn't have that background, I'd be more open to thinking I could change.