Multi-partner Dom??? (Full Version)

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SexyPhoenix78 -> Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 7:37:19 PM)

I have a question that I don't understand. If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want? Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom? I started falling in love with him, but felt he wanted to use me for sex and sexual experiences with others. Maybe this is how this is supposed to go, I'm not sure...Any advice would be very helpful.

SexyPhoenix78



JanahX -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 7:39:56 PM)

Is he holding a gun to your head or something that you feel that you are forced to participate in something that you dont want to?
As to your question if he is a real dom or not - Domliness is in the eye of the beholder.



DarkSteven -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 7:43:21 PM)

Your profile seems to show that you're already dumped him.

Question - under your Actively Seeking, you list Poly. Why?



lizi -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 7:49:50 PM)

You are responsible for yourself. That means figuring out what you want, and then beinging with people that provide that to you. If you settle for less you are to blame. I am monogamous, if I met someone and didn't get to know him enough at first to see if he was monogamous as well, or if he changed later to say he wanted other partners, then I'd leave the relationship to find someone who suited me and what I wanted. Being submissive doesn't mean I just let people do whatever they want and call it Domination.


To me, it wouldn't be very Dominant to be with someone who simply wanted to have sex, I could find that walking down the street. If it satisfies you to be his bed partner then great, if not, then you need to find someone who is closer to what you think a Dominant is. It sounds to me like you found a horndog who wants some action in the sack, period. He might be perfect for someone else, if i'ts not your cup of tea then move on.

No, it doesn't have to go that way. I'm in a mutually fulfilling relationship where we both take care to make ourselves and each other happy.



poise -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 8:13:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not
something I want?

He is a man. Wearing the title of Dom doesn't give him special priveledges over you unless
you allow him those priveledges. So no, you have no obligation to stay in a relationship that
involves things you are not wanting to do. Even if you never told him you weren't interested,
you always have the option of saying no and leaving.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78
Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me
is he a real Dom?

He is as real a Dom as he is capable of being, I suppose. He just doesn't seem to meet what
your idea of a dominant man is., and not everyone will. You mention you are falling in love with
him, so I would be concerned about you spending more time with him while already knowing
this isn't a relationship you will get fulfillment from.

Welcome to the forum. Stick around and read some of the threads around here. There are alot
of things that you can find out about yourself and your desires. Best of luck.




SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 8:20:30 PM)

No, he is not holding a gun to my head so I get the obvious point. Thank you for your response.



SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 8:21:45 PM)

I put poly because I am interested in this particular part of the lifestyle. Yes, I have already dumped him.



SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 8:24:17 PM)

Lizi,

Thank you for the advice. I want what you have, something mutually fulfilling. I take the advice you give and weigh it against my own sanity and I find it to be more than worth its salt:)



SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 8:26:13 PM)

Poise,

Thank you for your advice. I do need to read and learn a lot more before engaging in anything with anyone. I will do that.



littlewonder -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/25/2012 11:57:44 PM)

wait....you're interested in poly, your Master wants multiple partners but yet you say you don't.....I'm confused.




Focus50 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 1:04:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyPhoenix78

I have a question that I don't understand. If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want? Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom? I started falling in love with him, but felt he wanted to use me for sex and sexual experiences with others. Maybe this is how this is supposed to go, I'm not sure...Any advice would be very helpful.


Your dom wants multiple partners - you don't. Your "dom" seems only interested in sex - but you want dominance. Question; why are you settling for someone who can't give what you want?

You're the only one who can answer your questions.

FYI; a poly relationship involves 3 or more participants. You're either interested in poly or you're not - which is it? And trust me, no straight male dom is thinking 2m and 1f in the relationship - cocks don't think like that (real or metaphorical).

Focus.



Buzzzz -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 6:46:08 AM)

You have to figure out what is acceptable to you and what isn't (basically, your needs and wants). Then, choose in the pool that you just created. Simple as that :)



chatterbox24 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 7:56:36 AM)

I know what it is like to have someone have so much influence over you, where you start to give up your own core values.

Trust your gut hon, if before him this was not something you found intriguing, or thought about doing , I would advise you not do it.

Its a wonderful thing to give to someone, but not in the expense of losing yourself. These are things you ask advice on but basically its you who has the answers. If it doesnt make sense to you It isnt the right decision. Just my humble opinion.



SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 8:30:18 AM)

No, I am interested in learning more about poly. At the time he wanted to include people and I didn't want that because I don't understand it.



SexyPhoenix78 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 8:35:51 AM)

Thank you, Chatterbox and Buzzzz! I have had to reevaluate myself and my core values and I guess I was scared to leave someone I endeared as my first "Dom". After evaluating my wants and needs it seems that I was in love with the idea of wanting to be owned, loved, and cherished. The only thing I got was someone who wanted to sex me and other people. Hey you live and you learn...thanks everyone!



chatterbox24 -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 8:58:43 AM)

I hope you find the perfect soul mate who treats you right. Your welcome sunshine.



DesFIP -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 9:01:11 AM)

Even if you had the chemistry required to fall in love, that still doesn't mean he's someone who is a good fit for you. I suggest taking your time, learning about the lifestyle and deciding what you do and don't want.

There are lots of women here who have to ask permission to use the toilet. That's great for them but it wouldn't work for me. Luckily he isn't interested in that either.



Arturas -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 9:48:44 AM)

quote:


1) If my Dom wants to be with multiple people and I don't should I stay if I told him this is not something I want?

2) Also, if my Dom has given me no real domming experiences, except to have sex with me is he a real Dom?


1) No.
2) No.

Woo Hoo! I like these easy ones on a lazy beautiful Sunday. Guess my job is done here and it's time to head out. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right.



Arturas -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/26/2012 9:53:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

You are responsible for yourself. That means figuring out what you want, and then beinging with people that provide that to you. If you settle for less you are to blame. I am monogamous, if I met someone and didn't get to know him enough at first to see if he was monogamous as well, or if he changed later to say he wanted other partners, then I'd leave the relationship to find someone who suited me and what I wanted. Being submissive doesn't mean I just let people do whatever they want and call it Domination.


To me, it wouldn't be very Dominant to be with someone who simply wanted to have sex, I could find that walking down the street. If it satisfies you to be his bed partner then great, if not, then you need to find someone who is closer to what you think a Dominant is. It sounds to me like you found a horndog who wants some action in the sack, period. He might be perfect for someone else, if i'ts not your cup of tea then move on.

No, it doesn't have to go that way. I'm in a mutually fulfilling relationship where we both take care to make ourselves and each other happy.




To the OP:

I read that as "no" and "no". Woo Hoo! I'm getting so good at translating forumspeak. Am I right?



DesFIP -> RE: Multi-partner Dom??? (2/27/2012 12:09:24 PM)

No.



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