Kana
Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance
Or he could drop being an insecure fuckwit and be a man...
All the things hes asking for are negative in my opinion, you cant turn it around and magically make it positive when it comes across as someone being insecure...
He wants her to turn down 6.5k a year, he wants her to loose weight, and he wants to mark her...
It seems hes lacking in a major way and taking that out on her...
I get what your saying and in another situation it might work much better...but until you find the root of the problem, making a game out of the side effects isnt going to change the fact theres a larger issue present.....
Ok. I said I was gonna quit, but I can’t. This is just wrong in so many ways I have to point it out.
So here we go…
“Or he could drop being an insecure fuckwit and be a man...”
Where in the world has this guy come off as insecure in the least? We don’t know him. We don’t know his side of the story. What we do know is hers, what she has told us and nothing that she has said gives us any indication to believe that he is insecure in any way.
In fact, we know almost nothing about the circumstances.
They’ve been together 3 years. Maybe she was a skinny toothpick when they met and she’s put on a few pounds. Maybe he’s the one who has been consistent and she is the one who hasn’t. There are a million ways this thing could go-none of which have anything to do with “insecurity” or being a man.
In fact, I could, and would, argue that by being straight up with her, telling her what he wants and needs instead of hiding it, or worse saying nothing and letting it turn toxic inside of him, he had the huevos and the basic human decency to tell her what his expectations in and from her.
You know, a crazy thing like being honest in your relationship…with your partner.
That’s what a man does. That’s what a secure person does. That’s not the act of a childish ass.
And since we are here anyhow, can I point out how massively insulting it is to the OP to presume, and that’s exactly the word I wanna use, presume, things and weakness in the man she has spent 3 bloody years with.
I mean, we ain’t talking a few play dates, a month or two high school romance type shit.
We’re talking three years.
Don’t you think we should give her some benefit of the doubt and think that she has been with this guy because he is a decent dom, not whatever the hell you are trying to paint him to be?
Don’t you think that if he was an insensitive insecure wimp that she woulda left a long time ago? Or at least mentioned it in her posts. I mean, fuck-by projecting..whoops, did I say that?...I meant, assuming, in the manner that you are, you are making her look and sound to be an idjit, not him.
Instead she says nothing negative about him, as a man or as a dom. She has some issues with things he wants, but these things happen in any relationship, bound, nilla, whatever. That's just life.
Anything negative on a personal level is coming from you. Not her.
All the things he’s asking for are negative in my opinion, you cant turn it around and magically make it positive when it comes across as someone being insecure...
Why are they so negative?
And what is he doing that’s outside his prerogative (Other than the tattoo, because that was a prearranged limit. But that doesn’t mean it's not open for discussion. Cuz that’s what people in relationships do, ya know, they communicate. Crazy, ain’t it? Besides, I already tabled that long ago in my original post so there’s no need to talk about this)
Let me repeat again. She serves him. She surrendered to him. Not once. Not for a night or some slap, spank, tickle shit. She has surrendered for 3 years. She gave herself to him…to do with as he would.So, if he wants something from her-then it’s on her to obey. If she can’t meet his needs, then she should beat it, cuz who wants to serve someone you can’t satisfy?
And if she can’t or won’t, then he should do the same, because who wants or needs a slave who can’t meet your needs?
So let’s get the brass tacks of this thing straight.
She serves. He rules Thus, it is on her to actualize. Not bloody question. Not whine, mope or lollygag.
Do.
When your boss tells you to do something, you do it or you expect to get fired.
When a private in the army gets an order, he doesn’t question his CO (That’s not his fucking place). He snaps to and obeys.
And when a slave gets an order, it’s on her ass to make it happen unless there is a legitimate reason she cannot do it (Like say, health)
I mean, fuck, folks. This is simple stuff. It ain’t complex. It ain’t rocket science.
She exists to serve. That’s her freaking role in the relationship. That’s what the relationship is based around.
It ain’t asking too much to have her do her damn job.
In fact, he doesn’t even have to have a reason to ask her to do a thing. Maybe he likes skinny chicks, maybe tattoos turn him on. Maybe he gets off hearing her belly rumble. Maybe he has long term health concerns. Maybe he wants her to do it just because he wants her to do it.
Maybe he likes watching her suffer.
Maybe he is doing it simply to be an ass and get under her skin.
Maybe he just wants to see if she has the discipline to follow through.
WTF knows, and really the reason is irrelevant.
The only thing that matters, and to her the only thing that should matter, is accomplishing the task set before her, as best as she possibly can.
Anything else is just poppycock.
Moving on…
And what exactly about telling her what he likes/wants/expects reeks of insecurity? I just don't see it. He sacked up, came out with what he wanted and put it in clear terms. Don't sound insecure in the least to these ears.
He wants her to turn down 6.5k a year, he wants her to lose weight, and he wants to mark her...
(Fixed the spelling for you)
OK. We’ve tabled the tattoo, beat the weight thing to death, now, lets talk about the job.
She clearly states that she’s a nurse (WTF is with nurses and kink? I swear, you can’t swing a dead cat by the tail in an ER w/o hitting at least three kinky people…and they all work at the hospital!). She works a job with a lot of hours, a job she frequently gives extra free time too, staying an hour or two late a shift.
We don’t know the circumstances surrounding the raise offer, but maybe, just maybe, he felt it was to her detriment for some reason.
As in she would be working an extra 20 hours a week to make that extra 6,5000?
Or maybe it entailed travel. Or really freaky hours. Or working in a really dangerous hospital.
But for all we know he has a damn good valid reason for her not to take it.
In fact, since they have been together so long, they deserve some credit for being able to work things out together. You know, because they’ve done OK with it so far.
It seems he’s lacking in a major way and taking that out on her...
How do you know this? What in the world has given you that idea? Do you have a single rational reason to show us that would indicate this?
Who does this seem to, except you?
And how exactly is asking someone (Which is a not nicer than moi-I’m threatening that PDX90 diet, or whatever the hell it is. Besides which, I don’t ask, I tell. That’s what doms do, ya know-they dominate.) to do something taking “it out on her?”
My point is that, in this, as so many, many other forum discussions, that we don’t know the entirety of the situation. We see a small sliver, as seen through one parties eyes.
We don’t know him.
We don’t know her.
We have zero, as in zilch, none, nada, nein, not a whiff, of what their lives are really like.
We don’t have his side of the story.
We don’t have a single iota of a clue what’s really going on
(I mean fuck, this could be Arpig incarnation 10,282)
What we do have, way too fucking frequently, is a collective rush to judgment, judgment’s that, for the most part, tend to be mostly based on personal past experiences, good or bad.
And that’s just flat out wrong.
It’s wrong in too many ways to count.
It’s irresponsible. It’s selfish. It’s self centered. It’s certainly vainglorious. And it’s just fucking inane.
I mean what the hell else do you call it when folks speak out their ass?…and that’s exactly what making calls based on incomplete and erroneous information is.
Three years is a long time. Couples that last that long-they’ve been through the wars together. They know each other inside and out. They know who they are partnered with, what makes em tick, what makes em happy, what doesn’t.
That’s not something just casually tossed aside. That’s a mammoth investment of time, energy, blood, sweat and tears…on both parties behalf.
You are making some serious calls about this guy’s character with little to no info.
Me? I’m gonna choose to have a little faith in the OP-in her judgment, in her character assessment skills. And why not? She’s on the ground level. She knows what’s going on. Not me. Not you.
And her feet say that he’s been OK for three years-so I’m gonna roll with that.
Anything else is insulting and condescending... TO HER.
Finally, frankly, your “I don’t see much use for men anyhow” that I bolded last time demonstrates the vehement prejudices you pre-possess, thus rendering any opinion you may have regarding men and any relationship with them pretty much null and void because it’s going to be twisted by your own internal bias.
I tossed out a couple wide range solutions. You have chosen to see the negative in every action suggested. You freely admit it is because you are prejudiced against men.
I have tried to look into solutions. You have suggested just cutting and splitting, like three years ain’t jackshit.
On of us has been reasonable and tried to remain open to discussion. One hasn’t.
I’ll give you a hint-that second person I just mentioned… in our little discourse, that ain’t been me.
Just sayin’
edited cuz I can't type
< Message edited by Kana -- 2/27/2012 12:01:48 PM >
_____________________________
"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST
|
RE: He wants me to change....? - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread