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LaTigresse -> RE: Anger (3/1/2012 3:53:56 AM)
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The funny part of that is, there is very very little anger in me. What you perceive as anger is nearly always nothing more than my dry, sarcastic, sense of humour. I seriously couldn't tell you the last time I felt angry.
Someone that knows me personally, and also reads my forum posts, made an observation not long ago. When I am posting in my nicest, most sweet form, is usually when I am most cranky in person. When I am posting in a manner that is being perceived as mean, angry, cranky.......in person I am usually in a very good mood and things are going very well. I am having fun and laughing.
I am quite aware that the way I communicate does not translate well via written word as to my intent. I tend to look for the most succinct way to get my point across. I also enjoy making things a bit colourful. The more I am tossing in curse words, the more fun I am having and the more I am laughing while typing. Those three things tend to translate into angry, which couldn't be further from the truth. I actually sit back and laugh at the reaction, adding a few curse words to an otherwise mild post, creates. I just think "sheesh, touchy much?" And wonder what candy coated perfect little boring place, the people that get upset, live. On my television and in my world, people curse. They wave their hands about quite colourfully, they raise their voices when speaking passionately. None of that means they are angry, just alive and colourful. Living a full and vibrant life full of passion. The way some people on here type really does amuse me though. My favourite most repeated phrase 'what it is you seek' or some variation thereof and all of the weird other crap that goes with it. I read that and seriously wonder 'do you really freaking talk like that all of the time???'
While I suppose I could make a concentrated effort to obsess over each and every one of my posts as to how they are taken, no, not going to. This is me, my posting style, for better or worse. I am not here to create any sort of fan club or lure anyone into my lair (though if the second bit happens.....yay) I will gleefully admit my being here is entirely selfish. I am here for my own enjoyment. To spend time policing each and every one of my posts would ruin my enjoyment. I ain't here as a public service.......so, those that 'get me' yay for them. Those that don't, sucks to be them as they will likely be annoyed at my words for no worthwhile reason. In the light of taking responsibility for my words, I accept that I will be misunderstood and the repercussions of that. In that, there is no difference between here and my physical life.
And yes, self control is something I learned about the time I was learning to walk. I have never ever broken anything or hurt anyone intentionally in anger. I cannot remember a time when even at the strongest emotional turmoil in my life, I wasn't thinking ahead, weighing the repercussions of any action or word. To me, that's part of being a responsible and thinking primate. When I am very angry, chances are I am very quiet and will make myself very alone as soon as possible until I can process things and either 'get the fuck over it' or proceed in a manner that makes sense, big picture. Nearly any 'reaction' towards another has already been thought through quite carefully.
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