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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 5:38:27 PM   
hangemhigh1953


Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
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It's a human thing. Some people are just assholes or have anger problems, regardless of their orientation or interests. Dominants can probably get away with it a lot more easily than submissives though.

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"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 6:05:48 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
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I've dealt with a lot of dominant women over the years, and anger generally doesn't end up being a part of the dynamic, unless it's more of a "part" being played as part of the interaction. When anger seems to actually be a part of the mixture, it indicates to me that something seems to be wrong.

Years back, I was heavily involved in a femdom organization that catered to a lot of women who generally had a lot of hostility towards men. But even though they were often highly sought out as a part of the group (that whole angry bitch domme vibe thing), they generally went their own ways and left, as anger tended to be an indication that they weren't really good at interacting with other people. As such, the group tended to replace them quickly with women who actually enjoyed dominating men without an anger element. That seemed to really make everyone happy.

For sake of conversation, or argument, I've found the anger element generally served as a fantasy thing which echoed back to the days of magazines that would promote this sort of thing (like Cruella and Bitch Goddess). Very rarely was such an attitude sustainable in long term relationships.

(in reply to TheBootyMan)
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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 6:22:33 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

It's a human thing. Some people are just assholes or have anger problems, regardless of their orientation or interests. Dominants can probably get away with it a lot more easily than submissives though.


Not sure that a Dominant can get away with being angry. That to me says no control if it were a way of life, so I'd feel contempt instead of submission. There's no way I'd let a perennially angry person lead me when I could do the job better with less fuss. In fact I can do the job of leading better most of the time, so a Dominant really needs to have a lot to offer and thankfully many do.

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)
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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 6:32:38 PM   
TheBootyMan


Posts: 75
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Well, I did it again. I annoyed her on facebbok and she de-friended me. My wife and kids won't let me on their pages either. Maybe it is me? Nah.

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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 6:39:13 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953
Dominants can probably get away with it a lot more easily than submissives though.
Actually, a dominant with anger issues is very undesirable and will likely find himself alone.


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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 8:33:43 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

It's you.


I'm going with this.

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RE: Anger - 2/28/2012 8:35:52 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Well, I did it again. I annoyed her on facebbok and she de-friended me. My wife and kids won't let me on their pages either. Maybe it is me? Nah.


Okay....I've changed my mind.....I'd kill the bitch.

De-defriending....done...over.....gutter.

Trunk......dark alleys...etc.

(in reply to TheBootyMan)
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RE: Anger - 2/29/2012 7:40:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBootyMan

Well, I did it again. I annoyed her on facebbok and she de-friended me. My wife and kids won't let me on their pages either. Maybe it is me? Nah.


It's a very mature crowd you roll with isn't it?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Anger - 2/29/2012 7:52:29 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
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FR~

Gonna join the 'it's you' catagory.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Anger - 2/29/2012 8:14:28 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
It's a very mature crowd you roll with isn't it?


You know, when you write, I can sense the anger behind your words, La T, but these days, I can sense your *control* of that anger. For my money, that's by far the more important thing.

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RE: Anger - 3/1/2012 3:53:56 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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The funny part of that is, there is very very little anger in me. What you perceive as anger is nearly always nothing more than my dry, sarcastic, sense of humour. I seriously couldn't tell you the last time I felt angry.

Someone that knows me personally, and also reads my forum posts, made an observation not long ago. When I am posting in my nicest, most sweet form, is usually when I am most cranky in person. When I am posting in a manner that is being perceived as mean, angry, cranky.......in person I am usually in a very good mood and things are going very well. I am having fun and laughing.

I am quite aware that the way I communicate does not translate well via written word as to my intent. I tend to look for the most succinct way to get my point across. I also enjoy making things a bit colourful. The more I am tossing in curse words, the more fun I am having and the more I am laughing while typing. Those three things tend to translate into angry, which couldn't be further from the truth. I actually sit back and laugh at the reaction, adding a few curse words to an otherwise mild post, creates. I just think "sheesh, touchy much?" And wonder what candy coated perfect little boring place, the people that get upset, live. On my television and in my world, people curse. They wave their hands about quite colourfully, they raise their voices when speaking passionately. None of that means they are angry, just alive and colourful. Living a full and vibrant life full of passion. The way some people on here type really does amuse me though. My favourite most repeated phrase 'what it is you seek' or some variation thereof and all of the weird other crap that goes with it. I read that and seriously wonder 'do you really freaking talk like that all of the time???'

While I suppose I could make a concentrated effort to obsess over each and every one of my posts as to how they are taken, no, not going to. This is me, my posting style, for better or worse. I am not here to create any sort of fan club or lure anyone into my lair (though if the second bit happens.....yay) I will gleefully admit my being here is entirely selfish. I am here for my own enjoyment. To spend time policing each and every one of my posts would ruin my enjoyment. I ain't here as a public service.......so, those that 'get me' yay for them. Those that don't, sucks to be them as they will likely be annoyed at my words for no worthwhile reason. In the light of taking responsibility for my words, I accept that I will be misunderstood and the repercussions of that. In that, there is no difference between here and my physical life.

And yes, self control is something I learned about the time I was learning to walk. I have never ever broken anything or hurt anyone intentionally in anger. I cannot remember a time when even at the strongest emotional turmoil in my life, I wasn't thinking ahead, weighing the repercussions of any action or word. To me, that's part of being a responsible and thinking primate. When I am very angry, chances are I am very quiet and will make myself very alone as soon as possible until I can process things and either 'get the fuck over it' or proceed in a manner that makes sense, big picture. Nearly any 'reaction' towards another has already been thought through quite carefully.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/1/2012 4:00:39 AM >


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Anger - 3/2/2012 5:09:24 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline
Hello A/all,

In my experience not only NO, but HELL NO! Anger certainly has no place in D/s play. It requires control on the part of the Domme and her subbie boy. In an atmosphere of mutual trust, how can anger be part of any of it?

I'm in the "It's you (plural)" school.

Respectfully,
MIke
SnowRanger

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Anger - 3/2/2012 7:57:59 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

It's you.


That's what I was thinking.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 33
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