restrictions on addictions (Full Version)

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fallon0627 -> restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 12:27:48 AM)

Okay I have a inquiry on how you as a sub handle restrictions placed on your addictions such as: food, soda, cig, alcohol, drugs and so on. My Master has cut my soda intake to one 12oz per week. It has been really hard because I am highly addicted to Mt Dew; it is to the point of being a physical need when I don't get it. I have had a few slips.

What are your experiences with getting beyond it and obeying. I know that pleasing my Master should come first and I want to. But it is not as easy as that. I have gone several days with out and went into bad withdawls like, headaches irratability, shakes or very jittery. And then when i finally do drink one its a very gratifing, consuming, and needfull physical experience.

Thanks for all postitive replies.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:17:59 AM)

The only real way to put an end to an addiction is to want to end it. To do that you have to have a solid reason, IE 'it's bad for my weight/mental condition/general health' and then use that very real consequence to motivate you to learn to hate the addiction instead of want it.

I quit smoking on my own power, because after a scare in the hospital where the doctors pretty much told me "We can't do anything for you' I decided it was time to do all I could to improve my health. I found the conviction to do it. My mom is still a smoker, and will remain so because no matter who tells her to quit or how often, she doesn't -want- to.

If pleasing your Dom/Master is the only motivation you have for quitting an addiction, then it's only a matter of time before you do back-slide. But if you do it for yourself, because -you- want to, then it becomes a lot easier.

I don't really consider sugars and foods to be an addiction however, eating habits are learned behaviors, and can be changed or broken through conditioning. I view addictions as physical illness, which involve your body becoming dependant on chemicals it does not naturally get anywhere else, IE narcotics.

The difference between conditioning behavior and addiction is, you never STOP being an addict, but conditioning can be altered with new learned behaviors.

I wish you all the best with your soda weening. Try going without soda at all for a month, then allow yourself that one treat a week and you may find it much easier. Don't keep it in the house and don't go anywhere that it is easily accessible. Out of sight, out of mind!



Kana -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:18:42 AM)

She ain't allowed to drink coffee after 5 (She has insomnia issues) and she kvetches. Ooooh, how she bitches.
I swear, the only thing that hit more resistance was shaving her bald.

And purely BTW, the headache and such-that's caffeine withdrawal. Mountain Dew has scads of caffeine and you have become addicted to it.
Have a cup of joe-it'll take away the jitters, make things easier.

Meanwhile, I do hope you've discussed these "slips" with him....



kalikshama -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:18:53 AM)

How much did you use to drink per day? Are you getting other sources of caffeine? For caffeine withdrawal, ask your M if you can have green tea.* Also drink lots of water.

*green tea that you brew, not that you buy in a jar or can.



Kana -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:22:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
I don't really consider sugars and foods to be an addiction however, eating habits are learned behaviors, and can be changed or broken through conditioning. I view addictions as physical illness, which involve your body becoming dependant on chemicals it does not naturally get anywhere else, IE narcotics.


Dude-are you kidding?
Sugar is a drug just as much as caffeine. Think otherwise? Try quitting all sugar. Heck, give up refined sugars.
It's a bitch of a nightmare to quit.

Your body is as dependent on sugar as any other drug you put into it.

Now, I don't think I know many folks who've knocked over a Safeway for sugar money, so I guess there are some differences...:-)




ProlificNeeds -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:25:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Dude-are you kidding?
Sugar is a drug just as much as caffeine. Think otherwise? Try quitting all sugar. Heck, give up refined sugars.
It's a bitch of a nightmare to quit.

Your body is as dependent on sugar as any other drug you put into it.

Now, I don't think I know many folks who've knocked over a Safeway for sugar money, so I guess there are some differences...:-)




Sugar is not a drug it is what supports you. All carbohydrates break down into sugars, it's what fuels your body, it is essential to living. That is not a drug, it's fuel for the body.
Caffiene is the drug involved.



Kana -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:28:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Dude-are you kidding?
Sugar is a drug just as much as caffeine. Think otherwise? Try quitting all sugar. Heck, give up refined sugars.
It's a bitch of a nightmare to quit.

Your body is as dependent on sugar as any other drug you put into it.

Now, I don't think I know many folks who've knocked over a Safeway for sugar money, so I guess there are some differences...:-)




Sugar is not a drug it is what supports you. All carbohydrates break down into sugars, it's what fuels your body, it is essential to living. That is not a drug, it's fuel for the body.
Caffiene is the drug involved.

So why does one undergo withdraw when you quit refined sugars?

Edited to add that I see these sorts of things as a balance issue more than a foreign substance issue.
I mean, at heart, everything, and I mean everything, that gets put in the body alters the bodies chemistry in some way, whether it be food, oxygen, whatever...
What I focus on is when you cross a line and that thing desired becomes a need and dependency results.
This can be sugar, alcohol, ding-dongs, narcotics, etc..

It can also be less tangible, less physical compulsive acts such as shopping, gambling, but that's outside of the scope of this discussion so I'll table that for the time.

And IIRC from college history, massive refined sugar hit Europe like a bomb when cheap west indies sugar first became readily available. People spent a decade wired, running on all cylinders, and just generally going nuts as a society to whom sugar had been an incredible luxury suddenly had to deal with it becoming a vast part of their daily lives.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 4:33:29 AM)

You're changing the fuel mixture in your body. If you sustain a high sugar diet for a prolonged period, your body adapts to this, it creates insulins and alter's everything to adjust. The rate at which it stores fat, burns energy, even your metabolism is altered. When you change your sugar intakes, you body has to adjust again, suddenly it's not getting what it's use to.

However that is aside fromt he fact most people eat lots of refined/processed foods for comfort not because they need a calorie rich diet. Learned eating behaviors impact you physically, the same way depression or happiness does.

Not completing any food rituals you have will alter your mood, which alters the chemicals your brain releases, which alters how your entire body feels. It's not a simple issue, food 'addictions' are a combination of physical reactions and mental patterns.

Did you know you think about food at least 200 times a day? More if you are restricting your food intake? Food is a deeply psychological thing to most people. It's not just 'fuel for the body' our society doesn't eat to live, it lives to eat.

Edited to add: That is - make 200 food decisions a day, most of which is not conscious thought.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 5:15:57 AM)

At this point I can't think of anything my Master currently limits my intake of (besides sleep, sometimes he's gotta drag me out of bed by my feet,) because he does not see that I am addicted to anything. To him, unless I have a compulsion for something that becomes unhealthy for me, he doesn't qualify it as an addiction needing to be restricted. So I cannot speak directly from experience, but if he were to say, tell me I couldn't drink sodas anymore, I'd have a bit of a hard time with it because I do drink quite a bit of soda and it's generally accessible to me, but I don't think it would be impossible. I would just replace it with something else, lifewaters for instance would work great for me (I fucking love those things, in fact I'd drink more lifewaters than soda if we bought them more often...but he prefers sodas, so I'm shit outta luck there.) So OP, you could try replacing the Mt Dew with something else--as others have suggested it could be caffeine withdrawal that is causing you so many problems, so perhaps coffee or tea would do.

Other than that, have a chat with your master about your difficulties and your slip-ups (if you are not already doing this) and see if he has any suggestions, or perhaps your guys' plan to restrict your Mt Dew intake needs to be modified a bit.



sunshinemiss -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 6:33:18 AM)

For actual addictions, it is wise to seek further support - Twelve Step groups, professional therapy, etc.  That said, for a person who is involved in a relationship in which addiction is a factor, the person in charge of the relationship darned sure oughta be deeply and thoroughly aware of consequences before making decisions that will ultimately affect the wellbeing of another person. 



LunaM -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 6:53:28 AM)

I see addictions as unhealthy things. My master smokes. Would I ever dream of telling him to stop? Ha! Thats laughable. I need to have at least a glass of chocolate milk and a cup of tea everyday. Does my master want me to stop? No, because he doesn't view them as unhealthy. Now if I started shooting up or getting drunk everyday thats another matter. Caffiene can be hard on a body but it also has some upsides. Maybe he doesn't like pop for a specific reason. Its the caffiene you need so, as suggested, look for it elsewhere. My master has my best interests in his heart and his mind and it sounds like yours does too.

ETA: Some addictions are unhealthy, let me clarify that as I have a few addictions I do not consider unhealthy. It depends on the nature of the addiction and its effect, or lackthereof, on a person's health.



LunaM -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 6:55:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

For actual addictions, it is wise to seek further support - Twelve Step groups, professional therapy, etc.  That said, for a person who is involved in a relationship in which addiction is a factor, the person in charge of the relationship darned sure oughta be deeply and thoroughly aware of consequences before making decisions that will ultimately affect the wellbeing of another person. 



Sometimes a support group is good but only if the person ~WANTS~ to quit. Its all on will-power for a person to stop an addiciton.



littlewonder -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 7:21:24 AM)

Let me tell ya, that caffeine withdrawal was truly horrendous!!! UGH. I think it was one of the most difficult habits for me to break. The headaches and illnesses that came with it made me want to scream. I did finally kick it though and now the only time I really crave it is every few mornings if I didn't get enough sleep and I need something to rev me up a little...but I make sure to add lots of milk so that I'm not getting as much caffeine than before.

I went to Portugal though a couple weeks ago and they have a passion for coffee there. It was served every morning for breakfast so I drank it because it smelled so wonderful and I couldn't resist. And then everyone drinks what are called bicas there....small espressos with froth. So I had a couple because I like to try new things and be part of the culture of where I'm at. When I came home though, the headaches started again and I knew what it was from. I was no longer drinking coffee and my body was starting to get addicted again. It's so not an easy thing to kick.

And let me tell ya, sugar is the same way for me. I love sugar. I love pastries and desserts. I'm back on a diet though and watching what I'm eating and trying to stay healthy and it's been the one thing that I'm finding hard to resist. I get cravings all day long. I keep thinking to myself...oh, just one won't do any damage. It does though. It makes my cravings even worse and no one stops at one lol. Most days I'm able to push it aside if I keep busy but some days I admit I break down. So what happens? The next day I cut my calories and fat even more to make up for it which is hell too. It's a never-ending circle.

So yeah...sugar?? Definitely an addiction.



MrsT301 -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 7:31:50 AM)

I don't think this would fly with me. If my Husband told me to quit smoking I don't think I would be able to do it. Or want to for that matter.



GreedyTop -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 7:34:21 AM)

omg, when I stopped Mt Dew (12 pk p/day - hey, I was driving a truck for a living!!) cold turkey, I wanted to DIE!!!!!!!! omg.. not only my head, but my whole body ached! I was a major bitch to be around then, too!

I drink it again, now, but severely limited (comparatively).



littlewonder -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 7:38:24 AM)

exactly GreedyTop! It was hell. I was not the nicest person to be around. I was in a bad mood everyday and I kept telling Master to just shoot me now! lol

Sometimes I think caffeine addiction is probably one of the top addictions to get through.



LaTigresse -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 7:45:53 AM)

There are addictions that I will not allow if a person is to belong to me.

Tobacco is a big one. It literally is a deal breaker. As are most drugs. An occasional soda isn't a big deal but daily, not a chance. An occasional alcoholic drink like wine, no problem. But if a person needs it to get through their day or to deal with life's shit, they had best stay away from me.

I am also very into eating healthy and getting exercise. If a person cannot handle living like that, they won't be mine.

Anyone that thinks junk food isn't addictive is a fool. I read about a recent study that proved otherwise.

I don't think I am a fanatic. Hell there is a bag of tortilla chips on top of my fridge and a pan of home made brownies on the counter as I type. But the bag of chips will probably last over a week as will the brownies. Rather than being eaten in place of a meal or snarfed down in one sitting. It's also possible that some of the brownies will come to work to be shared.

I would be equally as concerned about a person that took exercise too far or was eating in a way that they were malnourished.

For me it's about being healthy and enjoying life in moderation.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 8:04:26 AM)

Wow, most excellent question, as I have heard about so many D-types wanting to or thinking they can cut or curtail a s-types addiction.

This only works if the s-types wants to cut down or stop and the D-type is offering "support" of some kind.

What that support entails is highly dependent on the exact dynamic in place.

I quit smoking cigarettes (nicotine being a major addiction for me) after many many years of smoking. Although the man made it clear he didn't like it, I was given kind, loving gentle support to quit. And I did. Now that is the only thing that would work for me.

Had he demanded I quit, I might have tried for HIM. But I wasn't going to quit until I could do it for ME.

Sooo...I can't see any form of restriction or punishment working for me unless it came from me.






littlewonder -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 8:10:53 AM)

I definitely was not ready to stop my addiction. I enjoyed it immensely. I love coffee. I love the feeling of it. He ordered it though and I fought him the entire way on it but I stopped for him, not me. My punishment was in knowing his disappointment in me. That's all it really takes. I know for some that doesn't work though but for many who identify as slaves it usually works.

If I had my choice though? I would still continue to drink coffee.



Asherscorp1 -> RE: restrictions on addictions (3/5/2012 8:57:32 AM)

I have never been an alcoholic but I did use alcohol as an escape. If I got too stressed I would have about 3 beers and just get trashed (I am a lightweight) and become hyper, weepy, stupid. It didn't happen often, maybe twice a month if it was a really rough patch. But since that is not condusive behavior to communication or respect M has forbidden me any alcohol. It's been very beneficial to not have that escape and I am grateful for it but there are times when I just want a beer with dinner to complement the taste of the food. Or I would like to sit down and relax after a long day and have a cold one. Those times or times when friends offer me a glass of wine while we are chatting have been hard. THE main thing that has gotten me past the challenge of saying no is talking to M whenever I REALLY want a drink. Second is accepting that it's better for me not to. Regardless of whether or not I am getting drunk or just enjoying a drink, alcohol doesn't do anything for me, it merely gives me the frame of mind I want. I can do that myself with some focus. When I can't and I do need a little help, I go to M and he will take a few minutes to "ground me" and then we both feel better and move on. It helps me to be petted, reminded that I am a good slave and that my struggle is appreciated. While doing that my Master usually keeps me in a subservient position, kneeling at his feet, or laying on the ground with his foot resting on my head and that reinforces in my mind that I am his and it is my purpose to obey and please. Both of those things help me realize that giving up one thing like alcohol is well worth the reward of belonging to and pleasing him. Talk to your Master and try to create some small ritual that helps you when you have a bad craving and try to accept this as a very good step for you as person. MT Dew was just poisoning you, maybe you can use this as the first step to creating a more healthy lifestyle for you both.



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