Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 12:37:45 AM   
fermat5


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline 		I have been told not to masturbate. This I have no problem with. I enjoy obeying, relinquishing control of my penis and control of my orgasms. However, I still feel the strong urge to masturbate. She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on hers.

But my situation is what turns me on. Her orders and the fact that I have sacrificed my orgasms to her are what turns me on. Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her? Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own? Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate? Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 1:44:38 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Sweet dilemma.

Just because you're turned on doesn't mean you need to masturbate. Think of it as an addiction. Just because you want chocolate doesn't mean you are hungry and need to eat it.

Your desire to masturbate is selfishness, not a tribute to her, because it is you selfishly wanting to satisfy yourself-- and worse, trying to absolve yourself of the crime by pretending it's for her.

That you are obeying is your attempt to put her wishes before yours, yes, but the moment you disobey, you have started putting yourself before her again. So it is only acceptable for you to obey from beginning to end.

Yes, you should be very ashamed for wanting to masturbate when she told you not to.

Yes, it is possible to get to a state of enlightenment where your penis is not the center of your mind and universe. But is that what your Mistress wants? Or does she delight in your suffering?

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 3:34:16 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Count me as another vote for m & f subs having separate forums.

The word count on "masturbate" must surely be a record.... Yikes! lol

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 5:23:02 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Count me as another vote for m & f subs having separate forums.

The word count on "masturbate" must surely be a record.... Yikes! lol

Focus.


At least he spelled masturbate correctly.

I am not allowed to masturbate. Obeying is more important to me than getting my rocks off.

_____________________________



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 7:16:18 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Try doing a search on "chastity" by user "Rochsub" = he's written some great posts on the topic.

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 9:06:19 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		quit thinking about it and find a hobby. It'll take care of the problem. Go outside, take a walk, smell the fresh air.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 9:28:08 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fermat5

Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her?
No, because you're still thinking of spanking your monkey as opposed to many other
productive things you could be doing. Three minutes of your life are far more valuable
to be spent thinking entirely of your dick.

Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own?
Yes, but I have a feeling you'll be disobeying any minute now.
Wait for it............

Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate?
Yes. See Answer #1.

Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?
Yes. See Answer #1



_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 10:36:05 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think you need to ask her to teach you how to not have any sexual desire. Because you've already stopped the actions. But telling someone not to think about something guarantees it will be the first thing they think about.

Tell her you don't know how to do this and need her to teach you how not to. I'm betting she doesn't know how to, nor is she too knowledgeable about male sexuality. Because men have random thoughts about sex several times an hour. Telling you not to have them isn't very productive unless she can somehow change this.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 11:12:05 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Knit.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 2:55:27 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fermat5
Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?

Sure it is. That being said, you might want to be aware of some risks if you're talking seriously here and not just some fantasy scene. My marriage councillor said to me, "You might be one of the very few people who can actually do that [dampen down my sexuality]. But be aware that it isn't going to be precise surgery. "

She was exactly correct. Yes, I could damp down my sexuality. No, that wasn't free. The price tag was pretty much all the highs and lows in life. I lived in a grey scale world. Emotions were distant things... rarely felt with any great vigor unless the emotion was anger. In short, in order to get rid of the sex drive I had to excise most of my emotional self. To give an image... I became Vulcan.. for real.. inside and out... not simply an act.

Now, does your mistress really wish that?

She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on hers.

Sounds to me like exactly the sort of ridiculous, uneducated quackery that makes it inherently obvious that most people should not be giving or obeying commands about internal mental state. You might stop to think what an actual psychologist would say to that idea. All that being said, go for it dude. It took Carol a good 15 years to make any serious in roads to the damage I'd done myself. But maybe it'll go better for you.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 3:29:47 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on her.


I can't help thinking of yoga master Amrit Desai, who asked all his followers, including the married ones, to practice celibacy and channel their sexual energy into their seva, or selfless service/volunteer work.

He resigned as director of the Kriplalu Yoga Center in 1994, after his extra-marital affairs were made public.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 4:35:38 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fermat5

I have been told not to masturbate. This I have no problem with. I enjoy obeying, relinquishing control of my penis and control of my orgasms. However, I still feel the strong urge to masturbate.


And you're going to feel the desire to masturbate. There's something within humans that makes us desire things more once we've been told that we can't have them.

If you're used to masturbating regularly, your body has grown used to frequent sexual release. Once you're told to stop masturbating, it's going to be difficult because you've essentially established a masturbation habit. Breaking any habit takes time. It usually can't be done instantaneously simply because a Domme told you to. Initially, she may need to use a chastity device to help you resist masturbating.

quote:


She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on hers.


I've got sad news for her. You may develop the discipline to avoid masturbating, but the desire probably won't go away. The mere fact that you are not allowed to masturbate is going to make you think about it even more than you usually would.

It's like people who go on diets probably find themselves thinking about food MORE, not less.

quote:


Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her?


Dude, get real! I know that it sounds noble to say that your masturbation is a tribute to her. But think about it for a moment. What does she get out of your masturbation? Diddly squat, that's what. Your masturbation is all about YOU. It's for your enjoyment. It feels good to you.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but she can't feel all of those wonderful endorphins that are running through your body when you cum due to masturbation. Nope, only you get to feel that sensation.

quote:


Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate? Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?


"No" and "no". Why feel ashamed? It's simply biology. Your male body desires to spread your seed and propagate your genetic code. It's the most natural thing in the world for the male of any species. And masturbation feels really good to.

I doubt that it's possible to remove the desire to masturbate. But it is possible to develop the discipline to not masturbate.

I enjoy forced chastity. But I find that forced chastity without a chastity device is more enjoyable for me. I'm not saying that it's better. Nor am I saying that being able to do it without a device makes me superior. But what I am saying is that for me, it takes a greater degree of discipline and obedience to resist masturbating when She still allows you full access to your cock. When placed in that situation, you have to ask yourself which is stronger, your desire to masturbate or your desire to obey Her? I find that dilemma forces me to truly come face-to-face with how important submission is to me.

To be honest, there have been times when I've masturbated when I wasn't supposed to. But that showed me that I was still placing my own desires ahead of Hers.

It may take time, but eventually you'll learn to subordinate your own desires and make hers preeminent. IMO, there's something very rewarding about obeying your Domme even though you know that the urge to masturbate is just killing you. Learning to obey Her, even when your body is screaming for release, is a critical step towards real submission.

Good luck.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/7/2012 4:39:57 PM >

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 4:42:27 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
I doubt that it's possible to remove the desire to masturbate. But it is possible to develop the discipline to not masturbate.

Nope, it really, truly is possible. Or, at least, it was for me... that and a whole lot more. The price tag for the accomplishment was pretty much "me".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 5:02:19 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hmm, I don't generally have any desire to masturbate. I once went for a couple of months without just on a whim, and when someone requested I not... I just didn't. I like the knitting idea though : p Keeping yourself busy seems like a good idea.

_____________________________

"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/7/2012 8:14:11 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fermat5

I have been told not to masturbate. This I have no problem with. I enjoy obeying, relinquishing control of my penis and control of my orgasms. However, I still feel the strong urge to masturbate. She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on hers.

But my situation is what turns me on. Her orders and the fact that I have sacrificed my orgasms to her are what turns me on. Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her? Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own? Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate? Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?



I enjoy the suffering. I need to suffer more. Can somebody please tell me to keep my hands off myself?



(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/8/2012 7:16:43 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Keep your hands off yourself!


(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/8/2012 8:55:33 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own?
Yes, but I have a feeling you'll be disobeying any minute now.
Wait for it............


I would think that the fact that he started this thread shows his focus is still on his dick.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/18/2012 12:45:02 AM   
Nanako


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline 		stop thinking about sex :p

Consider that you've most likely spent your entire life masturbating regularly, and by this point you ought to be bored of it. If you want to turn your life around and find a domme, you need some willpower, this is a good bit of practise to start.

I'm not sure abuot your situation specifically, but i'm hoping you intend to meet this domme when you've proven yourself to be a decent sub. In that case consider that you're not only putting her desires first, but that your putting your own future, your happiness, and the rest of your life, above the pointless desire to masturbate now.

Look at the big picture and it should be easy to stop caring about something so little.

_____________________________

My thoughts on punishment

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/18/2012 9:41:20 AM   
hellionsLight


Posts: 241
Joined: 10/18/2011
From: Kearney, NE
Status: offline 		Maybe, maybe not. I think you can answer your own questions about yourself and your thoughts.

I don't masturbate, really, cause it just doesn't interest me, so...forbidding me to do it really wouldn't be a huge deal.

_____________________________


(in reply to Nanako)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate - 3/18/2012 12:23:24 PM   
slaverachel2Him


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fermat5

I have been told not to masturbate. This I have no problem with. I enjoy obeying, relinquishing control of my penis and control of my orgasms. However, I still feel the strong urge to masturbate. She says this desire to masturbate should be eliminated so that I can focus on hers.

But my situation is what turns me on. Her orders and the fact that I have sacrificed my orgasms to her are what turns me on. Is my desire to masturbate not a tribute to her? Is not the fact that I am obeying proof that I am putting her desires before my own? Should I feel ashamed for wanting to masturbate? Is it actually possible to remove the desire to masturbate?


The urge to masturbate is natural, and a reflection of your arousal. Obeying Her is what you are doing and the desire may never go away, the action can go away, but you need to learn to focus your attention to what pleases Her not what pleases you. It is not a "tribute" but a response to arousal. no i don't believe you can remove the desire-but you CAN change your focus so that you are not obsessing on it. You mind will drift back to it, and you can transform that into submission and obedience.

_____________________________

Master Richard's slave rachel

(in reply to fermat5)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Virtual Chastity: Battling urge to masturbate Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109