quote:

Met talked all day and night whenever we could for a couple weeks one day I was busy and didnt respond much to conversation. So she struck up a convo with another man, long distance. She admitted as much, but claimed it was a all benign conversation. When I pressed she admitted it was more than that. We stopped talking for a week, then started up again. It got serious fast again with the all day and night talking. She is inexperienced in D/s, I am not. So we talk about wants and desires and needs along with everyday things. She wants and needs lots of control. She has always been a slut, been with lots of men with very little monogamy.
So she has a "friend" who is more local, I am 2.5 hours away, he is in the same town. They also talk a lot and hang out a lot. They take each other food and things like this. She admits he is hot and has a crush on him but they are just friends. I do not demand she stop talking to him, although I suggest it. It isn't a friendship I have ever been a part of or heard of. It was more like dating then friends. She says they never slept together and kissed one time. They work similar hours, overnights, and sometimes together. So she is totally doting over Me, says all the right things etc. Coming along well in learning who she is etc. Has even hinted I should move closer, if not in with her. Meanwhile her "friendship" continues. I do not ask it to end. My opinion is I can control everything but that, she HAS to decide it isn't right and WANT it to end, at least on that heavy of a level. I even asked if she wanted to date us both, as long as I take precedent, which I always have. Her answer is "I don't think you would allow it." This tells Me she wants to but is afraid to admit it. If she can't admit it then she can't. Even though she is basically dating him already right? So she ends up fucking him on Friday and then lies about it, until Monday morning when I got it out of her. On Sunday we again talked about me moving she says she wants Me to insist she top talking to Men, she needs this. While I can do that, I still believe she has to want to.
I have read some Doms punish their slaves or girls for this kind of behavior, I never have, I have always got rid of. My dilemma is; Do I punish it or just ditch her? Is it even my place to care? If so can she change?
My issue is the honesty part and her telling Me all along she wants no one else yadda yadda. I am the best Daddy ever etc. etc. And of course I can use the fact she did this in humiliating her :) which is really why I am debating and of course that I like her a lot.
Thanks for commenting.

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ORIGINAL: stldaddy

Perhaps my question is more about the game, and the situation is irrelevant. But it has me thinking about a post I read not to long ago. A post where  a woman came home after a night out and getting fucked in the ass, then getting caught because he doesn't normally inspect there. Is this a game they play or real deceit? I know you have no first hand knowledge of that particular couple, but in general maybe. I would guess a game even if it is real deceit. lol.
I am intrigued by the game and the humiliation that would ensue, but I have never been involved in such a thing, even if only for future reference.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Let's see if I have this.

You've been with her for two weeks. During those two weeks, you left her alone for a single day and she cheated on you. She lied about it initially, then confessed.

She also cheated on you with another man. And lied to you about that as well. She's telling you that she wants you to forbid her talking to other men.

She wants you to upend your life and move 2.5 hours away.

I'd say that she's determined to fuck anything that moves and you're not okay with that. I'd drop her like a hot potato. She's already given you a decade's worth of drama in two weeks and she's not gonna stop anytime soon.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Let's see if I have this.

You've been with her for two weeks. During those two weeks, you left her alone for a single day and she cheated on you. She lied about it initially, then confessed.

She also cheated on you with another man. And lied to you about that as well. She's telling you that she wants you to forbid her talking to other men.

She wants you to upend your life and move 2.5 hours away.

I'd say that she's determined to fuck anything that moves and you're not okay with that. I'd drop her like a hot potato. She's already given you a decade's worth of drama in two weeks and she's not gonna stop anytime soon.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLockitsKnyt

How is it a 40 year old man would even contemplate moving 2 1/2 hours away into a woman's home with whom he has no committed relationship? I don't get it, but then I don't understand much of human behavior.

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ORIGINAL: poise

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ORIGINAL: stldaddy

Perhaps my question is more about the game, and the situation is irrelevant. But it has me thinking about a post I read not to long ago. A post where  a woman came home after a night out and getting fucked in the ass, then getting caught because he doesn't normally inspect there. Is this a game they play or real deceit? I know you have no first hand knowledge of that particular couple, but in general maybe. I would guess a game even if it is real deceit. lol.
I am intrigued by the game and the humiliation that would ensue, but I have never been involved in such a thing, even if only for future reference.

It sounds to me like you aren't so much focussed on the fact that she can't and probably won't be
faithful to you, and are perhaps more interested in keeping her and making it into some sort of game.
If you like the idea of inspecting her butt everytime she comes home, then go for it.
"It's time to play what's in the poop shoot, baby!"

Who are we to tell you how much emotional investment you ought to be putting into this?

quote:

ORIGINAL: stldaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: stldaddy

Perhaps my question is more about the game, and the situation is irrelevant. But it has me thinking about a post I read not to long ago. A post where  a woman came home after a night out and getting fucked in the ass, then getting caught because he doesn't normally inspect there. Is this a game they play or real deceit? I know you have no first hand knowledge of that particular couple, but in general maybe. I would guess a game even if it is real deceit. lol.
I am intrigued by the game and the humiliation that would ensue, but I have never been involved in such a thing, even if only for future reference.

It sounds to me like you aren't so much focussed on the fact that she can't and probably won't be
faithful to you, and are perhaps more interested in keeping her and making it into some sort of game.
If you like the idea of inspecting her butt everytime she comes home, then go for it.
"It's time to play what's in the poop shoot, baby!"

Who are we to tell you how much emotional investment you ought to be putting into this?

Right. So do you have any knowledge of this dynamic? I really have none, so I am wondering if there is anything about such a relationship I haven't considered, which is just the jealousy factor, of which I have none outside of scening :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLockitsKnyt

Well OP, you have now edited your post twice. In your second edit, you said "On Sunday we again talked about me moving..." You all discussing it "again" is a little more than her suggesting it, don't you think?

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

There is a "slut" group on Fetlife. You'd probably find some explanation of the dynamic within that group.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

There is a "slut" group on Fetlife. You'd probably find some explanation of the dynamic within that group.

Is there a group about "My submissive keeps lying to me"? For me, that's a hard limit. But it seems to be some kind of game to her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stldaddy
Right. So do you have any knowledge of this dynamic? I really have none, so I am
wondering if there is anything about such a relationship I haven't considered, which
is just the jealousy factor, of which I have none outside of scening :)