Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok?

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Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 3:19:12 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
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My kitchen is tiny and I've searched it about four times, so it isn't there. It's not in the living room either. I can't fathom why I'd ever bring it upstairs, so I searched there too.

It's not here.

Since I live alone that means someone came in and stole it.

Someone came in, bypassed all the easily sold electronics and guns, and stole my wok.

Further logical analysis proves that this was deliberately done to annoy me and therefore must have been done by a sadist.

So fess up: Which one of you was it?

AND NO PUNS ABOUT IT JUST WOKING AWAY!

Post #: 1

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 3:22:28 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

I am looking for the sadist that is making it rain down here in Austin. I want some grilled steaks!

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(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 2

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 3:22:50 PM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline

My cat sleeps in my wok. Do you have a cat, and is it asleep at this moment?

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Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 3

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 3:30:10 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Back around 1976, woks were very popular. My old man made the mistake of buying my mother one.

Now, my mother was a nice enough lady but she couldn't cook if her life depended on it. Seventeen years I lived in that house (on and off) and every time I'd ask: "Mom, what's for dinner?", the response would be: "Left-overs". We never found the original meal.

Now came 1976 and mom's new wok. Her daily answer changed to: "Something stir-fried"

Mom and dad never had a disagreement in front of us kids but, after about 6 months of stir-fry, every night, pop heard me asking my question and heard mom's "Something stir-fried".

He lost it! "Did you forget where in the Pathmark (supermarket) they sell the steaks? Jesus, can we have some flippin' protein, please?".

I think pop, dead since 03 FEB '97, might have taken your wok.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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Post #: 4

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 3:56:12 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Did ya look in the toybag? Hey ya never know! Maybe you found an alternative use for it.

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Post #: 5

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 4:01:06 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Did ya look in the toybag? Hey ya never know! Maybe you found an alternative use for it.

Hmmm, cast iron wok, well seasoned and...

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 6

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 4:06:25 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

DaddySatyr: Hmmm. I don't think your deceased father took it. While I can imagine a ghost manipulating the pan, getting it out of a locked apartment would be difficult.

littlewonder: I don't think that's a real suggestion. I think that's a challenge. <Barney Stinson> Challenge Accepted!</Barney Stinson>

MissKittyDeVine: I think this is the best advice so far. I've been thinking about getting a kitten anyhow. So I can get a kitten, wait 6 months for it to grow up and then search for the cat. While an excellent plan in the long run, it does not serve to help me make dinner tonight. It will definitely bear exploring should I fail to locate the object soon.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 7

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 4:12:48 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

My cat sleeps in my wok. Do you have a cat, and is it asleep at this moment?

Yup.

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(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 8

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 4:47:24 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

When was the last time you used the wok?
When was the last time you saw the wok?

Who else was present at these times or later in your apartment?

Did you loan the wok to someone?

Did you yourself take the wok outside of your apartment?

< Message edited by Rule -- 3/9/2012 4:48:24 PM >

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 9

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 5:21:52 PM

poise

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Joined: 7/3/2010
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theveryhelpfulpoise

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Post #: 10

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 5:38:57 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

When was the last time you used the wok?
When was the last time you saw the wok?

Who else was present at these times or later in your apartment?

Did you loan the wok to someone?

Did you yourself take the wok outside of your apartment?

It's the slaves job to know the answers to those questions. This is why I need one.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 11

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 5:40:20 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline

Poise, I am confused by your response.

Are you saying you will cook for me if I have sex with you?

Are you offering sex for dinner?

It doesn't really matter: either way the answer is a resounding, "YES!"

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 12

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 6:00:20 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Rock out with your wok out, baby!

will these puns never end? lol

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Post #: 13

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 6:24:04 PM

mynxkat

Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline

I can tell you exactly what happened to your wok. The pixies absconded with it and are likely using it as a communal tub. The way to get it back from them is stand in the middle of the kitchen, and announce clearly to thin air, "Please bring my wok back, I'd like to use it." Then you leave the kitchen for half an hour or so, don't even peek. Distract yourself with something (or someone?). After at least half an hour, go back into your kitchen and look in the spot where your wok *should* be. 87 times out of 100 (approximately) it will be there, right there, in plain sight, in that spot you've looked in half a dozen times or more already.

You're welcome.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 14

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 7:33:11 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

My kitchen is tiny and I've searched it about four times, so it isn't there. It's not in the living room either. I can't fathom why I'd ever bring it upstairs, so I searched there too.

It's not here.

Since I live alone that means someone came in and stole it.

Someone came in, bypassed all the easily sold electronics and guns, and stole my wok.

Further logical analysis proves that this was deliberately done to annoy me and therefore must have been done by a sadist.

So fess up: Which one of you was it?

AND NO PUNS ABOUT IT JUST WOKING AWAY!

Fargin bastages.

Who was the last (known) person in your kitchen?

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)

Post #: 15

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 7:48:10 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

The same person that stole my hearing aids stole your wok.

Unfortunately, My dog ate em. I shit you not and I just found out that homeowners insurance doesnt cover it.

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Post #: 16

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 8:07:07 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

The same person that stole my hearing aids stole your wok.

Unfortunately, My dog ate em. I shit you not and I just found out that homeowners insurance doesnt cover it.

Best TV show EVER!!!!!

(I shit you not).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BH7m1_eedCE&feature=related

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 17

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 9:30:16 PM

yourdarkdesire

Posts: 4477
Joined: 10/2/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline

I'm sorry. I just came by to drop off your drycleaning, and it was just sitting there on the stove. Alone. Empty. It called out to me begged me to take it with me, where it could once again be filled with the fragrance of ginger and garlic. I warmed it slowly, as I didn't want to overload its system. As it came to life I reintroduced it to mushrooms, carrots, water chestnuts and baby corns. Slices of chicken breast soon followed, the air gently scented with the combined flavours. Shortly I added the black bean sauce, and covered its modesty with a tight lid.

Your wok gave me the best meal of my life. It gave itself for me! It has been gently cleansed. seasoned and is now hanging in my pantry, from a special hanger.

You can't have it back.

Sorry.

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(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 18

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/9/2012 10:56:19 PM

DaNewAgeViking

Posts: 1009
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline

Well if you can't find your wok, use a colander. It's even healthier than a wok because the grease will drain out through all those little holes - kind of an Oriental version of those grease draining George Foreman grills.

See? Bring your problems to your friends, and we'll make the world all better.

(in reply to yourdarkdesire)

Post #: 19

RE: Alright, which of you sadists stole my wok? - 3/10/2012 12:19:22 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

theveryhelpfulpoise

Here's the guilty party. She's got your wok. Take whatever action you deem appropriate now that you know.

The even more helpful,

Bita "007" Truble

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 20

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