RE: How long could one stay down?

RE: How long could one stay down? (Full Version)

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Alecta -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/10/2012 1:35:18 PM)
The major question for me, in your case, is what does he mean by "24/7 experience"? 24/7 of nothing but humiliating sex, rape, torture etc is exhausting, even for a Dom/me lol and yea, most who propose doing exactly that 24/7 as selling a fantasy, whether it's a fantasy to draw you in or a fantasy they themselves live in because they've never known any better. Technically, none of those who live it 24/7 long term experience it 24/7, it's closer to a "being available to have this happen to you whenever within the 24/7" or "an agreed period during which this occurs", with the interim filled with anything else agreed upon, whether it is a normal vanilla relationship to what LW has. I think dehumanization is similar to chastity, in that the submissive's "resilience" needs to be built up and stretched if you intend to go for long periods of it at a time, that health and safety issues must be thoroughly researched and understood before attempting it, the inclusion of respite periods, and, most importantly, the provision of appropriate care. A human mind is a delicate thing that is at once stronger and more fragile than most have come to realise.

heartfeltsub -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/10/2012 2:00:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta I think dehumanization is similar to chastity, in that the submissive's "resilience" needs to be built up and stretched if you intend to go for long periods of it at a time, that health and safety issues must be thoroughly researched and understood before attempting it, the inclusion of respite periods, and, most importantly, the provision of appropriate care. A human mind is a delicate thing that is at once stronger and more fragile than most have come to realise. This is a very good point, and something that I hadn't considered when asking the question. It is the same way at least for me with my pain tolerance, if it is pushed little by little, then I can take more pain than I could earlier. I especially like that last sentence. Thank you for replying. heartfelt

sweetbiggal -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 9:36:10 AM)
I love this question. I also love how you phrased it. In order for humiliation to work it has to be with someone I know who cares for me. They don't even have to love me, but care for me as another human being. A 24/7 thing would not work. There has to be plenty of opportunities for him to demonstrate that he does actually care about me. And now I'm going to contradict myself. One of my favorite fantasies is to have some random person treat me like nothing. And although this is a fantasy, deep down I know that under the right circumstances I would do it. Be used and humiliated by someone who does not care about me.

RaspberryLemon -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 11:34:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AttitudyJudy Not one second. But that's just me, :) This. I need to know I am valued, cherished, loved, and respected as a person and as property. I am always his, he owns me and I am always his property. But we don't do dehumanization or degradation, and it just wouldn't work for me--or him for that matter. The kind of behavior described in the OP would do damage to both our psychs. I have a need to feel appreciated and respected and loved, and simultaneously, he has a need to express that to me. He would feel just as bad treating me like described in the OP as I would being treated that way. I feel very fortunate that we are compatible with this. Also, I just want to say that I quite like this and agree with it wholeheartedly: quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta A human mind is a delicate thing that is at once stronger and more fragile than most have come to realise.

BloodRed -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 11:57:48 AM)
I enjoy this question... I agree that 24/7, 365 is unrealistic, but one shouldn't be quick to assume 24/7 is as well. If the fantasy so built in this gentleman's mind is merely to contain and 'abuse' his whore for a long period then all the power to them. I agree with Gigglecream that a 'fixed' period of time is silly. Does one ever really say "This scene is 2.5 hours" then quit when the buzzer rings? The heat of the moment, I say. Whereby if that moment lasts many moments, many hours, many days even, then power to you. In my opinion, I believe that the 'punishment' must be unequally met with a greater reward. For instance, if I were to push my girl past all boundaries, limits, and the like, I would extend to her much praise and comfort. That being said, I believe that an extended scene, lasting perhaps days or a week, is more than possible. Yet, I would walk the edge of caution here psychologically speaking. For one can push limits and the like, but one must be very careful of pushing the mind too far. Here is where one must make an educated and calculating judgment call in relation to their subject. For instance, in building the foundations of my relationship, I was better able to understand the contradictions and patterns of thought which invoke the responses and actions to various stimuli. Thereby, armed with such information, I and others, can with much more certainty ascertain the tipping point of her otherwise balanced mind. That being said: it would take a very strong foundation in ones relationship to withstand the abuse mentioned by the OP, a final goal should also be known fully and completely. For, psychologically speaking, if such a girl were to endure such torment for so long (depending on her mind and ability to introspect) I would postulate that she would be able to over-come and later conquer her Dom, thereby destroying the intent of the relationship. In the interest of being the devils advocate, I would also say: The mind is a very strong device, and is only as fragile as its user. Like a computer, it can only break when the user creates an environment fostering destruction. Thereby, in the right mind of the right sub, this environment as described by the OP would and could be strengthening. To be blunt: A person who is raped has two choices: A victim mentality, or a strengthening mentality. Either degrade and hovel your soul into a mentality of destruction where the outcome is mental-suicide... Or embrace the experience with the knowledge that what is feared by many is conquered in mind by you. The end result in this fantasy would be either result described in a victim situation. Either the Sub is stronger and then later rejects what would otherwise become mundane (the abuse) in search of more or lesser. Or, the Sub would mentally snap on a level only to be described as living-death. A mental valley subsisting on snippets of thought and valleys of contradictions. The only other option is sitting on the fence and peering at the grass on either side. So to conclude my long post I'll say this... Men of old tested their strength in battle (physical or mental). Woman of Old tested their Strength in Endurance... So, how strong are you really?

heartfeltsub -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 1:26:41 PM)
Thank you for your replies. I know that some of you are not interested in humiliation play, and that is fine, but for those of us who are I thought this was an interesting question and have been pleased to get some very thought provoking responses. To BloodRed, what is the "abuse" wasn't really abuse to a person but was instead a turn on? Do you think the "result" would be the same? Thank you again for your replies, heartfelt

BloodRed -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 5:26:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub Thank you for your replies. I know that some of you are not interested in humiliation play, and that is fine, but for those of us who are I thought this was an interesting question and have been pleased to get some very thought provoking responses. To BloodRed, what is the "abuse" wasn't really abuse to a person but was instead a turn on? Do you think the "result" would be the same? Thank you again for your replies, heartfelt I believe it would be a requirement to be turned onto these activities in order to maintain a mental/emotional balance within the atmosphere. Otherwise the Sub would experience a quick decline in emotional and self worth. Though I'm only speculating of course, I would suggest that the results would be the same. Either the Sub would eventually find the activities mundane (There are only so many positions, objects, acts one can perform... We are dealing with the finite, not infinite) or would become closed off, etc... For example, say you liked being whipped. Now imagine you were whipped 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year... Eventually it would get old. Much the same as a vanilla couple performing missionary every night... Also, pardon my use of the word "abuse". I was merely stating it in terms which flowed with my response. Abuse or pleasure are interchangeable given the right situation and people. I can most certainly see the appeal of this fantasy. -BR

NuevaVida -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/11/2012 9:51:09 PM)
It is very much how my last relationship was. I loved him; he did not love me. I was a toy to him, and that's it. While he respected what I did for him, and enjoyed it, too, I was the object of his sadistic pleasures, which included some extreme (even though I kinda hate that word) emotional sadism. For me, it was a challenge, of how much I could take, and for how long. It could not sustain, however. Four years of it beat me down too far, and left some lasting scars. It damaged me in the long run. I would not be in a relationship like that again. Now I am in a loving relationship that is healthy for me. He might humiliate, even degrade me at times, but those times are pretty rare, and he always brings me back up afterwards. I can handle that. But I can't handle the dark place degradation brings me to now. It brings up old ghosts which are best left in the past.

heartfeltsub -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/12/2012 2:54:23 AM)
Thank you both for your replies. I guess it makes sense that it could on one hand become very old and lose its effectiveness and on the other extremely damaging. Thank you NV for replying, having read other of your comments about your former relationship I was interested on your take on the subject. Thank you for your honesty and openness. heartfelt

NuevaVida -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/12/2012 7:46:12 PM)
You're welcome, heartfelt. I didn't recognize the damages that were occurring at the time. I was proud to be able to hang in there and please him - it made me feel good, even though it also hurt. But it's in the past and my focus and happiness is now, so I'm perfectly ok with being open about it. I learned a lot about myself from those experiences.

WestBaySlave -> RE: How long could one stay down? (3/13/2012 12:32:04 AM)
That particular style of degradation wouldn't appeal to me, because either it's insincere and it's just words ( which kind of takes the tone down due to insincerity ), or it's real and involves something I'd never do ( I'm only into monogamous situations, so being whored out would be a deal breaker from the get go ). In terms of a more general question of degradation, it really all depends on the situation. I've been in a dynamic where someone was verbally abusive a lot of the time, but because there was a lot of affection I never felt put out by it. It was a reinforcement of my place, not a criticism of my person or value, and that difference can make a world of difference. And really, it all depends on the person viewing the situation. To use an example, say I'm kneeling beside my master and he pats me on the head as a sign of his approval. This type of scene is a display of affection between us ( and I imagine similar situations happen in other D/s relations ), and didn't feel humiliating or degrading at all, yet for an average vanilla person this would be a rather degrading treatment to say the least. It's all a matter of scale, the dynamic between the two, and the meanings behind the actions.

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