How long could one stay down?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How long could one stay down?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How long could one stay down?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 2:43:31 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

I am someone who has a craving for some rather extreme humiliation and probably degradation. I recently received an email from someone whose profile had some sentiments like as follows:

"To me it is a fucking useless, stupid piece of xxx... a thing to degrade, to whore out, to watch men rape and piss in its stretched out holes... it is a hole for men to fill with cum... it is toilet, a bitch dog, a life size fuck doll that is allowed to live only so the holes in it are warm and wet... it is unfit to even look at my cock while I piss in its face, to lick my asshole while I cock whip its tits... it is not human, it deserves no rights, no respect, no free will... it is a thing to COMPLETELY control... to destroy as a person, so I can create it as my whore cunt."

This is something this person is interested in doing as a 24/7 experience. While some time like what was described above is something that would be a huge turn on to me, but it is not something that I could fathom living like 24/7. And that prompted a question. For those who also crave and "enjoy" humiliation and potentially degradation, how long could you stay down?

Because of what it seems like this particular person was looking for, he is not someone that I encouraged at all. But that being said, even though I have a craving for some rather extreme humiliation, I have always "envisioned" that as part of a larger relationship, if that makes any sense. So I was wondering for those who do have a humiliation aspect to their relationships, how much of a part of your relationship is it? Is it something that you move into from time to time at the D type's discretion or is it something that is part of your day to day experience a more 24-7 type experience?

Thank you in advance for your replies.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

Post #: 1

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 3:40:24 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I've always believed that to some minor extent, the very use of the words "dominant" and "submissive" suggested some kind of humiliation or degradation (Definition of Degradation and Definition of degrade).

I'm not saying it's my particular kink but there are some activities that I enjoy that some might see as one or the other. I don't see them, that way but that's where perspective comes in.

I think it's a sword that cuts both ways, though. It gives the humiliation to the one seeking it and it validates the (sometimes huge) ego of the one who is enacting it.

I think, though, that it sends a confused message to those around us. I'm not talking about some of the more outlandish things but, even something simple like my lady personally serving our dinner guests is kind of looked down upon, these days; as if I am somehow oppressing her.

The long and short of it is: I don't think those that are "down" really view it as being down . I think they truly view it (whether 24/7 or not) as their place for that particular moment in time.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 3/10/2012 3:47:31 AM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 2

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 4:48:42 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for your answer. The down that I was talking about was the dehumanization, becoming an it. I guess down is just my word for it because that is how I feel it. I sink down into a particular place when doing humiliation. Hopefully that makes a little more sense.

Thank you again for your reply.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 3

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 4:54:22 AM

MrsT301

Posts: 48
Joined: 2/28/2012
Status: offline

I wouldn't want to play this way for more than a few hours at a time.Don't think I could stay in that frame of mind while I'm going about day to day business.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 4

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 4:57:56 AM

AttitudyJudy

Posts: 85
Joined: 1/6/2012
Status: offline

Not one second. But that's just me, :)

_____________________________

You're about one stack of shit away from an episode of Hoarders.

(in reply to MrsT301)

Post #: 5

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 4:58:51 AM

jennileigh8182

Posts: 173
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

FR~

My answer probably doesn't matter here, but I probably couldn't do it at all. I have a very deep need to know I'm cared about and that I'm pleasing and valued. Without that, I start actually seeing myself as worthless and retreating into myself. I've been in an emotionally abusive vanilla relationship, so I know right off the bat I couldn't live under those circumstances. The dom I'm seeing will call me his whore and such while we're playing, but after our orgasms, we generally end up cuddling on the couch and quietly watching TV and chatting, so I get the side I need (and that he enjoys, as he's almost as tactile as I am). I guess, having worked this out in my mind, I can only take that while we're actively playing, and definitely not to the degree that your guy there was apparently interested in.

(in reply to MrsT301)

Post #: 6

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 5:22:00 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

FR:

There would need to be a clear start and finish to such an extream degredation. How long I could sustain it would definitely be measured in mere hours, I'm already prone to depression as it is, too much humiliation would probably leave me in a clinically depressed state, since I'm sensitive to downward swings of mood.

(in reply to jennileigh8182)

Post #: 7

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 5:27:43 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for your answers. As I said for me to go to a place of humiliation and degradation it would have to be part of a loving and healthy relationship. While in fantasy a 24/7 of being an it may be hot, but I don't know if that could actually be a reality and if it was a reality would it be emotionally and mentally healthy. Hence my question for people who do have this as part of their relationships.

Thank you again for all your replies,

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 8

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 6:18:50 AM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

I'm no expert, but I believe the 24/7 degradation scenario is pure fantasy for pretty much all people. The exceptions to that rule are the ones you'll see featured on Investigation Discovery. If someone puts in their profile that they want to live that lifestyle, they're probably inexperienced (or psycho).

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 9

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 6:34:22 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

I engaged in this type of dynamic for a while with my former partner. (And craved every disgusting second of it. :) It was more verbal than physical, and as far as verbal can go, fairly extreme.

But...

We were in love. He cherished me. We pushed all sorts of boundaries for one another, and this was just one of many we tried. I don't believe I could have done this if I wasn't sure he still thought the world of me, and I don't believe I could do it again until I'm with someone for quite some time, if ever.

We found that the humiliation/degradation had an ebb and flow of its own. It entered into our everyday activities in snippets, like a slow, steady drip. 24/7 would have been difficult for us not matter what, seeing as we couldn't see each other often due to our distance. But we spent years together, saw each other as much as we could, and even with our limited time actually in front of each other, it kind of just happened naturally. Perhaps it was just that we synced well no matter what. We didn't have to ask or plan about when to start or finish any kind of humiliation or degradation. It was just always there, and he used it when he wanted to.

I don't think I could stay "down" for very long periods of time. Like I said, I do need to know I'm cared for, and my trust in that likely counterbalances my ability to take some harshness. But even if you're not "down," it could certainly still be running through your loving relationship and intertwined with your everyday activities.

A side note - what others may find to be humiliating I find to be just fucking fun, so....we may have engaged much more than I am letting on, according to other people's tastes.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 10

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 7:02:35 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you Kaliko for your reply. I really appreciate your taking the time in answering my question. I agree that for me it has to be part of a loving relationship as well.

Thank you again,
heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 11

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 7:40:37 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I am always Master's it, his fucktoy, thing, his slave. He likes to remind me of that when he feels I'm getting out of hand. But he also likes me to be a well rounded person, someone that he can take places and not be embarrassed, someone that has control of her own life. Think of it like a well oiled car. He keeps his property in tip top shape so he can continue to use it again and again for as long as he can. So I guess you could say we do the whole objectification 24/7 but with a twist.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 12

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 7:50:16 AM

SilverBoat

Posts: 257
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

FR::

I've been with a couple of women who liked some 'degrading' play, but they only wanted it for a limited time within an otherwise intimate and co-sensual session. It's not something I would initiate unplanned, since it can be very negative trigger/landmine for many people. In both cases, the topic came up via checklist stuff, and we introduced it slowly and carefully.

Honestly, I don't 'get' the degradation thing, it's not a particular turn-on. I used it only as 'tool' to swing and pace the moods of a play session. I can see how in moderation it might provide some healthy catharsis for some people, but I'm wary that too much might spiral into harmful feedback. If it's 24/7, is there a 'reward' phase somehow or sometimes?

SB

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 13

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 8:32:14 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you for replying LW. Based on both your and Kana's posts here it seems the relationship that the two of you have is much more well rounded than what I posted in the OP. Would you agree with that statement?

Again thank you for replying,

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 14

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 8:33:21 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverBoat

FR::

I've been with a couple of women who liked some 'degrading' play, but they only wanted it for a limited time within an otherwise intimate and co-sensual session. It's not something I would initiate unplanned, since it can be very negative trigger/landmine for many people. In both cases, the topic came up via checklist stuff, and we introduced it slowly and carefully.

Honestly, I don't 'get' the degradation thing, it's not a particular turn-on. I used it only as 'tool' to swing and pace the moods of a play session. I can see how in moderation it might provide some healthy catharsis for some people, but I'm wary that too much might spiral into harmful feedback. If it's 24/7, is there a 'reward' phase somehow or sometimes?
SB

That is something that I would also like to know as well (bolded part). Thank you for replying.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to SilverBoat)

Post #: 15

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 10:25:38 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He sounds like a fantasist. How does daily life enter into this? If all she's good for is to be abused, then is he doing all the cooking and cleaning while she's waiting till his next friend comes over for a blow job?

And yes, without being lifted up on occasion to balance the downs, the s type will stop loving the d and instead of this being humiliation and degradation play, it will be abuse. The email you got seems to me to have been written by someone with no experience in maintaining a healthy, loving d/s relationship.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 16

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 10:53:07 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Thank you for replying LW. Based on both your and Kana's posts here it seems the relationship that the two of you have is much more well rounded than what I posted in the OP. Would you agree with that statement?

Again thank you for replying,

heartfelt

Absolutely. We live our lives through balance but as I said I am always his property, his thing, it, property. Some may see that as degrading or humiliating. I personally don't. For me it's comforting.

So I guess it just depends on how you see it.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 17

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 10:55:59 AM

Higuysitsme

Posts: 127
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Sheffield, UK
Status: offline

I agree with others, heartfelt, that this kind of situation is often largely fantasy, especially when suggested as 24/7; but that if it can be carried into reality, then it needs to be with someone you do feel actually values you and also has your best interests at heart. I have to admit, the idea of this kind of relationship does appeal to me, as a sub man, and I do talk with guys in particular - dominant women seem to be less interested in this I think - who seem to suggest they are into this kind of thing. But usually they turn out to be fantasists. It does seem a bit contra-indiacted to say that the scene needs to be played out with someone who cares for you and whom you also care for; but I do think that's the ideal.

_____________________________

'Be humble, because you are made of Earth;
Be noble, because you are made of Stardust.'
Navaho saying.

'There is no way to peace and happiness;
Peace and happiness is the way.'
The Buddha

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 11:59:16 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for your replies. LW, yours especially has been illuminating on how one can be an it, property 24/7 with someone who is sane and still be in a well rounded and loving relationship.

Thank you again for your replies.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to Higuysitsme)

Post #: 19

RE: How long could one stay down? - 3/10/2012 12:30:23 PM

gigglecream

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/10/2012
Status: offline

well i mean if you're talking massive degradation then you're talking a scenario in which time takes on a very different meaning. you're talking about some very fucked up and savage territory, right?

for people who want this but have never had it, it's natural to think in terms of something permanent and everlasting. it can't be like that, natch, but when people first start to visualize it they don't know any better. the end of a scene like this is a kind of ego death for everyone involved. it's like how people who are too chickenshit to understand that life is terrifyingly short but all that we ever get need to invent the notion of a life of everlasting bliss and indolence after the body dies. naive fantasists imagine that by lengthening the scene indefinitely they make it more intense, when they really only cheapen and falsify it.

there is no way to put a fixed time on "how long it could last." a truly intense scene lasts until both parties are psychically desiccated.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How long could one stay down?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109