RE: Responding to Fetishes (Full Version)

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Boudica -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 6:57:20 PM)

I'm entirely too physical in my responses to give advice on this - I'm thinking the classmate could use with either a quick finger flick to the earlobe or, if he keeps on being an ass, a quick chop to the vegas nerve behind the ear.

I know I'm going to be clubbed for this, but I love redheads and a true fire bush is a wondrous sight to behold! [sm=preen.gif]



ScoutsHonor -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 8:39:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor


I discovered the discussion boards and now I can’t seem to stop coming up with questions and threads lol. But anyways here is a new one.

I was wondering how you respond to someone who has a fetish that you are not into or makes you feel uncomfortable, especially if they are coming on too strongly about it? I know politely if possible, of course, but how exactly?

I find it easier online because the person can be ignored or blocked if need be but in real life is where it gets even more difficult.

For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.

I have a HUGE thing for redheads. (and you are stunning) but even IM not that freaking creepy.

My approach is usually something like a sigh and a smile and saying "And on the 8th day, God created redheads". Add an acknowledging nod and then if the woman in question doesn't feel like beginning a convo, I tip my hat and wander off or turn and finish my beer if Im in an adult establishment (Bar).

As for carpet and curtains, that's just totally classless.


Well thank you. I agree, a joke or complement are fine but asking to touch me is gross. It didn't help that the gas station thing happened when I was about 17 and the guy was at least in his 60's. *shutters*



ScoutsHonor -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 8:46:35 PM)

So what I'm getting is to forget the who polite thing.

Now that just leaves me with the task of breaking the 24 year long timid streak I've had going lol.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/11/2012 9:33:03 PM)

If someone is coming onto me and I don't appreciate it (read: always--I am happily taken,) my response would depend on how they were doing so. If they weren't being creepy about it, I'd be polite in telling them I'm not interested and try not to give them any mean looks. If they were creepy or persistent, a mean look and a big "fuck off," are mandatory. There is no politeness or niceties reserved for someone who doesn't respect boundaries. And if after that they still didn't get the picture and kept at it, well, I have a friend in my pocket named "KA-BAR Mule."

That is assuming I was alone. I am usually with my Master, and when I am I never get anyone harassing me. If for some reason someone decided to harass me while my Master was with me, I'd just leave it up to him to decide how to handle things.

As for how I deal with fetishes that I'm not into if the person asserting them on me is my Master, I deal with it by tolerating it and going along with whatever t is. I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. I don't have the right to refuse. And odds are even if I hated the action, I'd still love doing it for him to please him. Luckily, for the most part he isn't really into anything I'm not. He essentially created my sexuality in the first place, so we are pretty in sync with our likes and dislikes.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 12:46:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Tell him nobody gets laid asking about the drapes and the carpet.


Excellent response. I'd also add, 'that means you, douche-canoe.'

Seriously, I'd probably say, "That's completely inappropriate. Zip it."



kalikshama -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 7:40:55 AM)

quote:

When someone is a pervy, harassing creep, then you should show them no courtesy. It's always important for a woman to have a backbone, and they don't confiscate yours when you get your sub card. In fact, I would think that's when you need it most.


[sm=goodpost.gif][sm=agree.gif]



JeffBC -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 8:27:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana
When someone is a pervy, harassing creep, then you should show them no courtesy.

Yes, of course. There is always sinking to the possible level for those that like walling in the muck For those of us who prefer the higher road though, I'd go with:

a) Inappropriate touching: 911... and yes you are pressing charges. You want him in jail.
b) Inappropriate comments: If at work, press charges. Otherwise, ignore.



IrishMist -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 9:07:24 AM)

quote:

Now that just leaves me with the task of breaking the 24 year long timid streak I've had going lol.

Timid does not equal weak-spined [8D]

Since I am the kind of person who would have flayed both of your examples with words, my advice would be of no help.
HOWEVER

my oldest daughter ( who is almost 30 now ), was what most would probably call 'timid, shy, and with no backbone'...unless they knew her fairly well...in which case, she was often referred to as 'quiet, stuidious, polite, but scary'. She disliked confrontations of any kind, yet had a temper that when pushed far enough, was enough to scare even me into backing down on occassion.

I don't see you as being weak or spineless. I see you as being polite, a bit shy, but fairly intelligent enough to know when to say back off. How you say that is up to you [8D]



LadyPact -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 9:37:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Mace.

This is probably one of the best answers I've ever read on CM. 

OP, don't let people treat you like that.  Especially total strangers.  You are quite lovely, so I'm not surprised that you attract a lot of attention, but don't put up with jerks.



Endivius -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 4:33:09 PM)

I don't understand why they would ask if the carpet and drapes matched. Wouldn't it be far more rewarding and worthwhile to woo her into showing first hand?! Maybe i'm just old fassioned and not with the times. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not talking roses and chocolates here, but cmon. Wouldn't it be better to see first hand than just ask out right? I mean if i go shopping for a car i dont ask if it has seats, i take a look myself...



DesFIP -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 4:34:31 PM)

But that takes relationship skills which obviously they don't possess.



JeffBC -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 8:13:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
But that takes relationship skills which obviously they don't possess.
Yeah, no joke. Everyone knows you women don't respond to subtlety like that. That's why I personally go with, "Hey Baby! Show me your gash!"



MistrixMsE -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 10:46:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor

For me in particular I have to deal with people with red hair obsessions. A guy who complements it or whatever is fine but it gets down right creepy when a stranger at the gas station asks to pet my head or a guy from class begins to pry about weather the carpet matches the curtains.


Suggested response:
"Is your dick as small as your knowledge of etiquette?"



Hillwilliam -> RE: Responding to Fetishes (3/12/2012 10:56:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ScoutsHonor

So what I'm getting is to forget the who polite thing.

Now that just leaves me with the task of breaking the 24 year long timid streak I've had going lol.

The best, most sought after submissives are the ones who stand tall and are proud of who they are and how they reflect on their Dominant. A submissive that will put someone who oversteps their bounds in their place and then seconds later kneel for their Dominant and kiss his (or her) hand is a treasure and a thing of beauty.

You are a submissive but you are submissive ONLY to that special one person. Everyone else can go pound sand.



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