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Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:23:04 PM   
Wildfirefly


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/25/2011
Status: offline 		What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:24:28 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Wildfirefly)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:33:42 PM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...
You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first.

The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.


_____________________________

WITHOUT "ART" THE EARTH IS JUST "EH"



LLT

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:37:37 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You tell him and see what he says.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LoreBook)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:41:16 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoreBook

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...
You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first.

The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.



Silly me, i though relationships were built on compatibility... I totally never would have guessed that ya know... you could have one with out it...

Gods, I just dont know what the hell id do without your eye opening and beyond insightful thoughts and opinions based in just beyond magical everything...



_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to LoreBook)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:47:32 PM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Silly me
Indeed.

_____________________________

WITHOUT "ART" THE EARTH IS JUST "EH"



LLT

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:49:35 PM   
mynxkat


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance


quote:

ORIGINAL: LoreBook

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...
You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first.

The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.



Silly me, i though relationships were built on compatibility... I totally never would have guessed that ya know... you could have one with out it...

Gods, I just dont know what the hell id do without your eye opening and beyond insightful thoughts and opinions based in just beyond magical everything...




Goodness, wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? I think LoreBook has a very valid suggestion. Who knows, the new vanilla boyfriend might turn out to be not so very vanilla after all, but the OP will never know that unless she does something *gasp* mature and intelligent like.... *gasp talking to him!

If it turns out he's very not interested in exploring a BDSM lifestyle, THEN she can part ways with the boyfriend and find someone already into all this fun stuff.


< Message edited by mynxkat -- 3/11/2012 10:50:14 PM >

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:52:15 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoreBook

quote:

Silly me
Indeed.

Your hard on for me while cute, adorable, and such, is really tiring...

Please do, try to contain yourself... Really I mean.... I get I'm Fucking amazing... And stalking me has such the appeal... but gods.... really... Control woman... You do claim to be a dom afterall...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to LoreBook)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 10:53:53 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly

What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating


this is why i say dump the guy who has most likely only been in the picture for 2 weeks and find someone compatible...

Gods, explaining myself, and my motivations for every single post... when its so fucking obvious, really tiring...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to Wildfirefly)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 11:10:56 PM   
mynxkat


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly

What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating


this is why i say dump the guy who has most likely only been in the picture for 2 weeks and find someone compatible...

Gods, explaining myself, and my motivations for every single post... when its so fucking obvious, really tiring...


Golly, you use that bold and font size so very very well. You STILL missed the whole communication thing. Sure, it's a new relationship. And she's new to the whole idea of our kinky little world. So, your very first piece of advice to her is to simply dump the guy? Without even trying to talk to him about any possible, I dunno, mutual interest in learning about this whole What It Is That We Do thing?


(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 11:12:06 PM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline 		There, there, now. Don't get yourself upset, just take a deep breath. And another. Now where did you put your medication?

The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.



_____________________________

WITHOUT "ART" THE EARTH IS JUST "EH"



LLT

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 11:23:16 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mynxkat


Golly, you use that bold and font size so very very well. You STILL missed the whole communication thing. Sure, it's a new relationship. And she's new to the whole idea of our kinky little world. So, your very first piece of advice to her is to simply dump the guy? Without even trying to talk to him about any possible, I dunno, mutual interest in learning about this whole What It Is That We Do thing?




I kinda skipped the communication idea, when you have a 38 year old woman acting like shes a teenager...

Ya know, When ya have been around for a while you tend to get a feel for what some clues are.....

The OP is comming here because she lacks so much self control she thinks shes going to cheat on her new partner that she just got with, because she needs to submit..

Why put the guy through torture and possibly std risk?

Sure he might be open to kink, some guys are, some arent...

but the Just got with, kinda implies... less then a month, why waste time on something you arent sure of when you know you have needs and your at least kinda maybe possibly believing, this guy who you like, most likely wont be what you need....

When you can cut your losses before too many feelings are attached, and find someone who most likely will be a better fit..

I mean sure shoving a square peg, into a round hole might eventually work...

But then the round peg goes in the round hole, with out any effort at all...


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to mynxkat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 11:31:39 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly

What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating

You just ended a 10 year marriage 5 months ago. I would suggest you just take your time, not even call a guy a 'boyfriend' this soon after your break-up and HAVE SOME FUN before committing yourself to someone else so fast. Get to know who 'you' are without a partner first and then see what floats your boat. You really need to be comfortable in your own skin and if you are wondering how you survive without cheating on a guy that you barely know, my guess is that you really are just going too far too fast.

Ask yourself.. "Am I repeating a mistake?"

Answer yourself honestly.

Don't forget to breath.

Good luck.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Wildfirefly)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/11/2012 11:36:08 PM   
Boudica


Posts: 86
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Jacksonville, Florida
Status: offline 		It also depends on your definition of cheating. You might be able to get by with just online play.

_____________________________

Man, the monkey with its tail in front!

A man's asshole is his pussy. Here pussy, pussy, pussy....

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 12:17:48 AM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline 		So you skipped over crucial details like the importance of communication in a relationship, you used some sort of clairesentient "feel" to infer all sorts of things not in the OP or the OP's profile, and you assumed the worst possible scenario as a given, and used that house of cards as justification to advise the OP to dump their current SO.

I'm detecting a pattern here.

The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.




_____________________________

WITHOUT "ART" THE EARTH IS JUST "EH"



LLT

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 6:34:37 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

You just ended a 10 year marriage 5 months ago. I would suggest you just take your time, not even call a guy a 'boyfriend' this soon after your break-up and HAVE SOME FUN before committing yourself to someone else so fast.


Ob boy, I'd left my 14 year marriage for 3 years before I was ready to get serious again.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 6:36:57 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...


Agreed. I personally do not explore compatibility outside the bedroom until I've established a basis for compatibility inside the bedroom.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 6:43:47 AM   
Wildfirefly


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/25/2011
Status: offline 		Ty yes been seperated for 10 months met tast yr dated for a few months. Why I say boyfriend it's hard I went back cause I do like him. I agree leather on my ass is so good. Yes square and he's not round Like I crave. Just hard after you fall for him. I did tell him he doesn't understand about this life style. He did try to spank was ok but this weekend blah in bed. I just wish I didn't have these feeling so strong for him. Ty for all your comments I do value them

(in reply to LoreBook)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 7:48:01 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		You are thinking with your hormones and not your brain. Pay attention to what Bita wrote.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Wildfirefly)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Vaneilla Relationships - 3/12/2012 8:06:32 AM   
Wildfirefly


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/25/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you this helps

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 20
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