quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a


While it varies, you're assuming there is a power exchange in Top bottom dynamics..

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp
However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment. So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

In my case I am X and the livin is y. I can assure you he hates pain. He hates being hit, whipped, poked, anything of the sort. I do it anyway, mostly because I think it's funny. We all for the most part do things for our own reasons. I think you are trying to hard to understand everyone else when the only thing you really need to understand is yourself and the other person, or persons, you are in actual realationships with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp
However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment. So who is serving whom?

This is exactly why I dislike the term "serving" in this context. It's yet another of the BDSM fantasy terms that when applied to real life breaks down. Yet rather than simply abandon the term as impractical in real life the standard answer is to produce convoluted chains of reasoning to try to make sense of it.

In simple terms, in any consensual relationship, I'm assuming that all parties are serving each other.

I'm the first to admit that I don't know about one night only play relationships but it still seems obvious that if both parties are engaging in the activity by their own choice then both parties must be getting something out of it. As noted by Roch, that "something" may not be direct sexual pleasure due to masochism but they are there for a reason.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
I think you are trying to hard to understand everyone else when the only thing you really need to understand is yourself and the other person, or persons, you are in actual realationships with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: menowimp

This is something that has always bothered me a bit in BDSM.

X is whipping Y. So the obvious impression is that X is the dominatory personality and Y is the submissive personality.

However, let's put it into real context. We don't go around hitting each other as a normal rule. Therefore the only reason X is hitting Y in this case is because Y enjoys being hit. So X is hitting Y to satisfy Y's enjoyment.

So who is serving whom?