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proudsub -> body image (10/26/2004 9:11:30 PM)
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This is a recent issue of "Great Sexpectations" i thought i would share, thinking it might help anyone here with body image issues.
A very warm welcome from Carmen Sutra:
We discuss this issue every once in a while, and it truly
warrants revisiting from time to time. I routinely receive
letters that detail just how much body image issues affect
people in the bedroom, especially if you are about to be
with a loved one for the first time. I know lingerie shopp-
ing can be a traumatizing experience in itself, let alone
dropping your guard and your clothes in front of someone you
love. Making love with someone is just about the most vulner-
able you can allow yourself to be, and it doesn't help when
you have nagging doubts in your mind about various body
parts. Let's discuss...
Today's Topic: Sum of All Your Parts
I know what some of you are thinking about, your concerns.
But listen up: you are NOT your cellulite, stretch marks or
flabby skin. You are NOT your stomach pouch or "bat wing"
arms. You are your smile, your generous heart, your soft
skin, and your charming and inviting laugh. You are your
willingness to help people and your caring nature. We all
have insecurities and hang-ups, but it's ALL of these things
that make us who we are: we ARE the sum of our parts.
I hope that this can be liberating for some, yet I know others
will probably always feel inhibited by their body image in-
securities. Some people think when they find the "right person"
or someone they are "comfortable with", their armor will fall,
but the truth is, even if you find someone like that, some
people STILL feel inhibited. But there is a way to have a
healthy, satisfying sex life while dealing with body image
issues. So you keep the lights off - who cares? So you shy
away from certain positions - not a problem! It's between
you and your partner, and you need to figure out what's best
for both of you.
Chances are, though, that your partner couldn't care less
about your arms or excess tummy. We tend to focus on our
flaws, but in the moment of making love, your partner sees
you in your entirety - your sum. When you really, really love
someone and believe in them with everything you have, their
sagging breasts or stomach mean nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
The flaws only give YOU pause because, truly, your partner
is too busy basking in your beauty and thrilled to be with
you at all. And isn't THAT how it's supposed to be?
P.S. Food for thought: A friend once told me if the person
IS bothered by excess pounds or tiny flaws, they probably
weren't interested in all your wonderful qualities in the
first place.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE share your body image issues with us,
especially concerning the first time you made love with some-
one you love. In the meantime, guess what Wednesday is? "Love
Your Body" day, so you know what that means - it will be all
masturbation talk :) As always, I remain...
Devotedly yours,
Carmen Sutra
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