Bearlee
Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ponyboy7
Actually, in reading your meassage again, it actually sounds like you are Switch since you mention that cannot submit to someone you Topped but you cannot Top your Dominant. I do not believe that you have Switch with a single person to be considered a Switch; I think you merely have to be able to switch from submissive to Dominant or vice versa.
Hope this helps. It all helps, boy! Thanks for your input and…Welcome to Cm!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul
... I think you may have had something with the "Service Top" idea because to me as a switch... switching involves being able to Dominate. I have spoken with you and I have read your posts so many times and I dont really see you as you said being able to Dominate, you have such a wonderful submissive heart and I think for you, trying to be something ( Dominant) when it isnt who you truly are could be an issue and it would just serve to confuse you. I think its wonderful that you know how to weild your toys and that you know the difference between being able to swing a flogger and being Dominant.... because it is two totally different things.
A switch in my eyes is someone who can go between the role of a Dominant and a submissive fluidly, they can control or be controlled depending on what the relationship/situation calls for. I wouldnt necessarily say that someone who like to bottom ocassionally or Top ocassionally is a switch, its just expressing a need at that certain point in time.... a switch moves between the roles on a constant basis, sometimes being Dominant and submissive several times throughout the day... ( eeep huh? lol it gets interesting lemme tell ya lol )
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*hugs* c-ya latah bearlee RS, in my mind too, Switches go back and forth between Dominant and submissive. At least that’s what I’ve always understood it to mean. I read a lot…and this seems to be the ‘general’ meaning. I wonder…must the ‘switching’ be constant? And… I wonder if someone absolutely NOT interested in D/s …but who both Tops and bottoms, would be a switch? And then, of course…What about one who’s submissive, but occasionally Tops? LOL
quote:
ORIGINAL: Level
As most here know, ask ten people to define "switch, dominant, submissive" etc, will get you several different answers lol. So, keeping in mind that these are my definitions... Well, I KNEW that one was coming, Sir! LOL quote:
A switch is one that does, or even is able/willing, to top and bottom. Does not have to have anything to do with being dominant or submissive, though that can come into play. Bearlee, using my definition, you are indeed a switch. Now…THAT is the part where I stumble! I really did thing the ‘generally accepted definition of ‘Switch’ did include the D/s flavor. quote:
Does this make you unsuitable as a submissive? Absolutely NOT. Hmmmmmm… I sure do hope not. Seems to me a great many Dominants will see ‘switch’… or ‘girl who plays with whips and things’ as ‘girl who tops from the bottom’. I do NOT…and hence my dilemma. Part of me wants to keep secret my ‘other interest’…just so someone can get to know me and SEE I am not Dominant. Course…I guess I’ve gone and outted myself here, huh? LOL
quote:
As far as I'm concerned, you don't have to [call myself a switch], but if your interest in it all is high enough, maybe it would serve you well to do so.
You're not alone in this [switching with the same partner]. Fear of loss of respect, blurring of relational boundaries, etc, can often be stumbling blocks between partners. There are ways around this, certainly if the couple is open to adding play partners. Well, Topping for me is a fun time activity. I suppose I could really take it or leave it. It is not the same with my desire for D/s in my daily life. With regard to ‘adding other partners’; Yes, I’ve thought of that too. What man wouldn’t like two submissives…especially if one could Top the other? LOL Perhaps I’ve sorta kept THAT little scenario in the back of my mind, too.quote:
I would advise one to find what truly gives them pleasure and fulfillment, and seek a partner/s of a like mind, and enjoy life for all it's worth. The longer I go, the less value I see in terms *grins*.
Level Well, there ya go…probably the best advice ever! Thank you, Sir!
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tikkiee
I have never been one to put much stock into trying to place 'solid' definitions on labels.
What is a switch? You wll get as many different opinions as there are people here; and no one opinion will be exactly the same as another.
What matters is how you perceive the label of switch in regards to your own relationships; and in regards to that of your partners.
Now, with that said; my own personal opinion of a switch is a person who enjoys not only the role of dominant, but also one of submissive. Yes, thank you. I expected to get varying degrees on a similar theme…I just wanted to know what the ‘general consensus’ was. And yes…it seems that (generally speaking) Switching has to do with being both Dominant and submissive.
Again, what I was hoping for was more information about whether or not I'm deceiving someone by calling myself submissive IF I also enjoy topping on occasion. It seems some Dominants are afraid of me! Sheeshhhhhh …or they dismiss me as ‘not submissive’ without even getting to know me. <sigh>
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lashra
… So I reckon its more Topping from the bottom then anything else.
Does that make me a switch? Hell if I know but I do know that between my sub and I, we've worked it out so we both get what we want out of our relationship. … If it feels good, do it and enjoy.
~Lashra Thank you, Lashra. While I really do know ‘labels’ are silly…there is a place for ‘communication’. While I agree with you that we all pretty much make our lives ‘work’ for us; I’m very curious what…generally…someone would call me. Lordy, there is sooooo much conversation going on about ‘two profiles’ or brats who top from the bottom and only call themselves submissives in order to ‘catch’ a guy… I guess I just would like to be clear. (and clear to myself, as well!) Thanks again for your input!
quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I used to call myself a slave top. It confused everyone, which wasn't always a bad thing. In fact it amused me how much people shoved labels into boxes and then couldn't bend them enough to fit other people.
But when I began to feel that it was more than just topping for me, that I actually was fulfilled in having authority within a dynamic in addition to being a slave, that I began to apply the word switch to myself.
Asking what is a switch is like asking what is a slave. No definitive answer.
One friend I have uses the word "versatile" as her descriptor. Another uses "hybrid." Switch isn't the only option you have if you choose.
See what works best for you over time. No matter what- someone will tell you that youa re wrong anyway. Well, LA, as usual you are succinct and to the point. Still, while I’m not all that wrapped up in ‘labels’…I AM curious about the ‘generally accepted view’ of Switching. Okay…it’s a flaw of mine, but I’d like to be as clear to myself as to anyone reading about me where I am in this conundrum we call ‘The Lifestyle’. I’m not very authoritarian; I just cannot see me getting very Dominant…ever. It cracks me up when a guy I beat on occasion tries to tell me to ‘Take CONTROL’. Course, that’s followed with dismay I’m not really pleasing him as I’d like to. <sigh> Perhaps it’s ME who cracks me up!
quote:
ORIGINAL: leatherorlace
you yam what you're yam, and once you're able too present the gist of your delicious deviance, I would only label you in a manner that would jolt My forgetful side into remembering that you should be on My A-list, an interesting psyche that's worthy of further investigation and interactions.
… Ahhhhh, what was the question? Heheheeeeee I'm presently courting one "switch" that has an attraction to Me in several areas , and I haven't even met her yet, but, I have determined that she's a real person thru acquaintances, that she is a competent wielder of some tools, and wishing to learn how to become proficient with others, enough of a pain slut to cause Me some profound interest, but not in a sadistic delirium of what, I would hope that she is.
… A "switch" can be of enormous help during scenes that develop during lengthy sessions. The fact that she can take and give pleasure at both poles of the equation can actually cause some unexpected debilitation in the novice or newbie as they labour to please. The chemical cocktails can and will cause a roller coaster effect that should be familiar to the One that's directing the scenes so that He might recognize symptoms of erotic overload and enable the sufferer to take some ease and hydration under a blanket. No thing is perfect, not even a snowflake, and humans have needs that must be attended so if, I found an eagerness for more dosages of delicious deviance in a girl and she spoke of a growing interest in spanking her friends, learning how to wield the different floggers, and learn how to throw a single tail, I say' HELL YA!!!!, bring her to Me, but leave off the tattooed titles.
Gentry Awwww, thank you, Sir. And you see, you mention that ‘two girl’ thing I was talking about. LOL Is that the universal male dream??? <giggles wildly>
And with regard to that ‘single-tail’ that’s exactly why I bought my quirt. It’s well-made, short, and easy to use…especially within confined quarters. Using it is similar to using a single-tail. I WOULD like to expand my ability to use such toys…I mean, tools! <weg>
Still…I’m really not that clear if I’d be actually referred to as a Switch in the ‘polite circles’ I call ‘lifestyle’…but perhaps it just doesn’t matter. If I don’t talk about topping others in my profile, I sure as heck don’t keep it secret after we meet. I just wanna be clear….and maybe I am; clear as mud! LOL
Thank you all, for the input; I’ve a great deal to think about!
...I sure do hope Celeste jumps in...
< Message edited by Bearlee -- 6/4/2006 7:19:33 AM >
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Submissive/Top…Switch? - 
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.... I think she's a great example of someone who is superbly submissive and able to top with great enthusiasm, and I would guess great skill. 
RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? - 
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