RE: Submissive/Top…Switch?

RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (Full Version)

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BitaTruble -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 5:23:34 PM)
::chuckles with Bearlee:: Himself and I were taking a walk after dinner. First, the standard disclaimer. _________ <-- fill in the blank for whatever standard disclaimer you need. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Telling your partner what you are willing to do or not do in S/m and/or D/s (M/s) is the best course of action, and I think that would apply to lifestyles which are not alternative in nature as well. I'm an S/m switch because I like to give and receive pain. I will, no doubt, always like to give and receive pain if the past and present are any indication of the future. The only reason to label oneself, which I can come up with, is to give potential partners some idea of what they may expect from any given relationship and/or encounter. For example, a gay M/s only slave isn't going to be of interest to me, so they can move on to the next person in line. A straight/bi S/m bottom, that would be a reason to open a line of communication for me. It's just a way to quickly weed out people who aren't going to be potential play/life partners and if we're just going to be friends, no labels are needed at all. Labels can serve a purpose to open up the door before serious communication starts. For that reason alone, I have no issues with them. I made a joke at our munch yesterday that I was the only one sitting at the table who could play with every other person there.. ::laughs:: There is something to be said for switching. [;)] Bearlee, like most things.. it's what works for you and yours that matters most. You want to slap a label on your ass, feel free. No one has the right to question your choices. If you don't want to use a label, you aren't obligated to and no one can force that on you either. I use them for myself for convenience and as a time saver. Life's too short and if I can cut out the middle man, that time can be used for better things than pulling weeds. S/m Switch, Bisexual, M/s Slave .. they all fit for me and in a glance, it cuts out a lot of people from 'potential partner' category and puts them squarely into 'we can only ever be friends' category. OK, maybe it doesn't cut out a 'lot' of people given my particular label choice, but it does cut out some! ::laughs:: Celeste

NINASHARP -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 5:25:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy Hello A/all, I was courting a submissive for some time who was one of the foremost Tops in her state. She knew all these toys, had parties and beat all the people from the local army base who needed beating, etc. I had been invited to watch her scene, and she was profoundly Dominating in these scenes. While I had no interest in bottoming, it kinda turned me on to watch her inflict herself on others. However, she would get very sad about the fact that she had gone for several years without being submissive to anybody. And I use the word "submissive" instead of the word "bottom" for a reason; she wanted to be submissive to a man. Where I am going with this is that in my opinion, a "switch" is somebody who has days where the switch is up and they want to be a Dominant. And days where the switch is down and they want to be a submissive. In her case she was a submissive who wanted to maintain connection to the D/s lifestyle and the only way she could was by topping others. Just me, etc. Sinergy Well said. Although I think your reply hit a little close to home for me and my feelings on the subject. But its a great topic Bearlee. One I'll be watching. Nina

Bearlee -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 7:23:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble ... Communicate, communicate, communicate. Telling your partner what you are willing to do or not do in S/m and/or D/s (M/s) is the best course of action, and I think that would apply to lifestyles which are not alternative in nature as well. ... Celeste Well, as usual you've managed to keep me thinking, Celeste! I wonder, however, if I wasn't really all that clear with my questions. The whole purpose of my thread was more about using labels to, as you put it "give potential partners some idea of what they may expect from any given relationship and/or encounter." I've noticed there ARE Doms who are more than a little disconcerted with a submissive wielding a whip; the whole idea of them ‘Topping’ squicks ‘em. For the most part, I think, what I was asking had to do with the idea of not being completely honest by not putting in my profile that I’m a Switch. While I do consider myself a Top, I don’t really think of myself as a switch (because I think of a Switch as being both Dominant and submissive…which I am not). But…wondered about ‘complete disclosure’? Not that, before long, I wouldn’t eventually tell all, anyway. However…you made a GREAT point. I’ve come to realize the guy who IS squicked isn’t the guy for me, anyway! So why worry about it? Label or no, I’m plenty open and honest…disapproval is also a way to quickly weed out people who aren't going to be potential play/life partners. <grinz broadly> Thanks to everybody for their input. It IS very interesting the different interpretations we have for ALL our terms, isn’t it? Perhaps it’s all in what IS is… <giggles>

Level -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 7:32:14 PM)
quote: Perhaps it’s all in what IS is… <giggles> [sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif]

ImpGrrl -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 7:42:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee So… should I describe myself as a Switch? What do you feel about it? That's the most important thing. Myself, I differentiate between SM switches and d/s switches. - SM switches both top and bottom. They can be dominant, submissive, both, or neither. - d/s switches desire relationships as both dominant and submissive. They can be sadist, masochist, both or neither. And then there's any combination of the two. Me, I'm switch in both ways. Not equal on all ends - I desire more relationships on the d side than on the s, though my primary relationship is currently on the s. I'm a pretty equal sadist/masochist, though.

BitaTruble -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/4/2006 9:12:36 PM)
quote: For the most part, I think, what I was asking had to do with the idea of not being completely honest by not putting in my profile that I’m a Switch. While I do consider myself a Top, I don’t really think of myself as a switch (because I think of a Switch as being both Dominant and submissive…which I am not). But…wondered about ‘complete disclosure’? Not that, before long, I wouldn’t eventually tell all, anyway. Ah, lee.. that, of course, is entirely up to you. The very first word of my profile is 'owned' and it doesn't stop the emails from flooding the box. ::laughs:: Most of them are about Himself sharing me (he doesn't.. 1st born, Alpha male, selfish with his property and all that!).. and the part about being an S/m switch is in the middle somewhere. Of course, anyone who actually takes the time to read my whole profile is a masochist at heart and would be a potential target for me. [8D] Putting the information in there, assuming it actually gets read, is probably not going to hurt because you want to connect with people who accept all of you anyway.. it can be a filter to some.. for others, they aren't going to care as long as you don't try to top 'them'. On the flip side, there are plenty of dominants who will actually enjoy it if their partner can pick up the whip. There are pros and cons to both sides. I know that didn't help, because bottom line is.. it is up to you! ::laughs:: Celeste

Bearlee -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/5/2006 5:43:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: Perhaps it’s all in what IS is… <giggles> [sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif] whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaattt? [sm=dance.gif] Okay, okay, okay... "What I Learned on Collarme Today" Labels don't matter, it's what you think that counts. Profiles don't matter, they're just screening devices. Communicate, communicate, communicate; there are 1000 ways to skin a cat, you best talk it over before you let anybody near yours! beverly, bearlee, bear, bj, beej, girl, sweetie, hon or omygawdthatfeelsgood

Level -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/5/2006 4:10:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: Perhaps it’s all in what IS is… <giggles> [sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif] whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaattt? [sm=dance.gif] Okay, okay, okay... "What I Learned on Collarme Today" Labels don't matter, it's what you think that counts. Profiles don't matter, they're just screening devices. Communicate, communicate, communicate; there are 1000 ways to skin a cat, you best talk it over before you let anybody near yours! beverly, bearlee, bear, bj, beej, girl, sweetie, hon or omygawdthatfeelsgood Proud of the lady here [;)]

LaMspeach -> RE: Submissive/Top…Switch? (6/5/2006 8:33:45 PM)
I just had a discussion about this with a friend. I personally see it as a mind set. I top with permission, I have no desire to dominate anyone... I see it as just another way to serve and what better way to serve another then to be able to step out of your comfort zone do what needs to be done to please all involved. I love topping other women for both Master's and my pleasure. I also like giving pleasure to the women i top but once the scene is over i no longer want the control. So no i don't think you should describe as a switch, i think you should just be yourself and communicate and any one worthy of you will understand.

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