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RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 8:29:53 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		My very first time was at a "floating" illegal play party (kinda like a floatng craps game) called Club Klitz, held in the Tenderloin in San Francisco. It was also my first time on a motorcycle--(I was living in house of lesbian bikers--no, for real....not a fake profile thing) It seemed really gritty and sleezy....there was a keg, and I was so nervous that I downed a few before realizing I would be riding on the bike to go home. (I remember praying that I didn't fall off the back) It really turned me off..

Then I got an invitation to go to a legit play party--it was held at the old 15 Association play space. Someone had to vouch for me in order to get an invite, and I went with a close friend who I had already played with a few times. I took an hour or two to take it all in--it was the first time I had really seen women using whips and floggers. After a brief negotiation between my friend and a third Domme, I got flogged for the first time and I was hooked! Totally different experience from the first party.

So my long-winded point here...if the first munch doesn't float your boat, find another one where you feel more at ease.

I went to a munch here for the first time--the men were nervous and awkward--but it gave me a chance to meet some local Dommes who then invited me to the local parties here, and I'm having a damn good time as a result.

Don't lose faith.

(in reply to SilverBoat)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 10:29:40 PM   
Alacrity


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/14/2005
Status: offline 		My first experience was at a play party. I went with a friend who wanted to become a pro-domme. We had met the owner previously for a training session, but didn't know anyone else. Because I was with her, I didn't really socialize/play much with the others. I recalled that I was extremely nervous both because of the environment, and because I wanted to make my friend look good. I honestly can't remember anyone, other than the owner, that I actually met the first time.

Other times I returned to that dungeon alone. It is much easier to gain acceptance if you arrive with a lady/friend/sub. However, it's not impossible. Be friendly. Strike up conversations when it seem appropriate, but don't hover. Just try to make a good first impression so the next time they see you they will have good memories. Don't worry if you don't play your first time, though it's certainly possible.

In short go with an open mind and have fun.

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 10:50:42 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		mine was at the dungon in dallas it was a awesome experince to see how much was done. i did not attend local munches till i got to ga i went to as many as i could meeting new folks and learning new things

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(in reply to Alacrity)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 11:03:26 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I walked in by myself, was warmly greeted by the munch leaders, and that was about it. There was a table full of new people who didn't know anyone, and all the other tables were filled with people who already knew each other. So I sat with the rest of the unknowns, had a less than mediocre time, went home and didn't go back.

I did attend a few MAST meetings with a friend, and those were interesting and enjoyable. But my schedule didn't coincide with theirs.

Now I go to a monthly dinner/discussion group that I enjoy, and have met some nice people in that group.

But I haven't done much in the way of the "public scene" and I haven't gone to a play party.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 11:18:45 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: don347


quote:

Its nothing like your probably thinking its not men dressed in leather and women in corsets or stuff like that.


Now that I think about it, that's probably the image I had in the back of my mind - thanks for clarifying that.


Yeah, that was a good point. In my experience fetish gear and public kinkiness is really discouraged at munches, because if you freak out the other customers the restaurant/bar/hotel's probably not going to let them keep meeting there.

(in reply to don347)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/19/2012 11:28:48 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		Id recommend because of your age looking for a tng event. It might help with your nerves to meet people your age

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(in reply to don347)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/20/2012 7:20:36 AM   
don347


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Id recommend because of your age looking for a tng event. It might help with your nerves to meet people your age


What's a tng event?

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/20/2012 7:21:21 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		The Next Generation. It's usually 35 and under.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/20/2012 7:55:59 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		As was already mentioned, it's a good idea to contact the munch leader before attending. Some groups are invite only, while others are less so.

In regards to the comments about fetish wear...another good reason to contact the leaders. Some groups DO REQUIRE that you dress a certain way, while others are much more casual.



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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/20/2012 8:41:20 AM   
don347


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

The Next Generation. It's usually 35 and under.


Thank you :)

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/20/2012 10:45:15 AM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		It was very friendly even though I was incredibly shy, I simply sat in and listened most of the night. People asked questions but didn't press if I wasn't sure.

It was a brilliant night and I'm still in touch with nearly everyone who was there - that was nearly 5 years ago now lol.

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Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to SilverBoat)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/21/2012 2:43:13 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I met some VERY nice folks. Who were great fun to talk with. And eat with. (The food was good! I had the #5. Prawns, chicken strips and fries. Yum!) And there was a party afterwards. Which was kinda fun.

Two things, tho.

1/ There were only six of them.

2/ They were all married.

So, it was good, but... I'm looking to visit "the city" next time. I am hoping to meet more, smaller people, who aren't married. And I am thinking I should bring my guitar. Y'know, as a conversation piece, to help me get invited to their party. If someone else brings a guitar, COOL.

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(in reply to SilverBoat)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/21/2012 10:59:36 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		My first meeting with local kinksters was at a week long kinky campout.  There were about 125 or so people there.  It was great!!!  There were lots of demonstrations, from rope to needles to suspension to pressure points.  You could buy all kinds of lovely toys on Venders' Row.  At night you could watch all the action in the dungeon.  As a newbie I quickly learned I wasn't in Kansas anymore. 

< Message edited by peppermint -- 3/21/2012 11:00:18 PM >

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(in reply to don347)
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RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/22/2012 8:21:39 AM   
AugustTearDrop


Posts: 18
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

My first meeting with local kinksters was at a week long kinky campout.  There were about 125 or so people there.  It was great!!!  There were lots of demonstrations, from rope to needles to suspension to pressure points.  You could buy all kinds of lovely toys on Venders' Row.  At night you could watch all the action in the dungeon.  As a newbie I quickly learned I wasn't in Kansas anymore. 



OMG that sounds like Fun!!

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks for posting this question, as someone very curious about group events it was a very interesting read, looking forward to more responses. :)

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/23/2012 3:15:24 AM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		Overwhelming. It was me, two older ladies and like 25 horny guys that all thought I was their next wife.
Never went back, lol. :)

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/23/2012 11:09:25 AM   
don347


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/16/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Overwhelming. It was me, two older ladies and like 25 horny guys that all thought I was their next wife.
Never went back, lol. :)


That laugh was a good start to my morning. Thank you.

(in reply to VanessaChaland)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/23/2012 4:35:18 PM   
LoreBook


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
Status: offline 		Intimidating at first. Like you I was nervous and inexperienced and was sure I wouldn't be welcomed. And then increasingly annoying, as every man in the place hit on me over and over, and I was informed again and again that I really would like to sub to them. And then eventually just kind of boring in a pleasant way when the men finally got tired of being told no and the other women figured out I wasn't there to steal their partners.

And that pattern, without the "intimidating at first" part, has been repeated at almost every single munch or meeting I've attended.

My new girl says that there's an informal group in St. John that is pretty good, and I've let myself be talked into going to a meet there sometime in the summer. I am actually looking forward to it, because any group that welcomes her has got to be pretty interesting.

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(in reply to don347)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/23/2012 7:22:20 PM   
don347


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/16/2012
Status: offline 		It sounds like the munches are barely different from meeting any other group of people. I probably will give it a try at some point in the near future. Thank you for all of your responses. I'll be off of this site soon, but feel free to keep this thread going. It sounds like your responses helped clarify things for a couple of other people as well.

< Message edited by don347 -- 3/23/2012 7:23:07 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/24/2012 8:57:03 AM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		All the munches I've been to have been really friendly (maybe I'm just lucky in this regard). It's just like any other get together only with conversation tending towards BDSM topics. I'm crazy shy in person so if I can manage to go to one anyone can : p

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What was your first time at a local group like? - 3/24/2012 1:02:54 PM   
soumisespastiche


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/9/2010
Status: offline 		Everyone who was "greeted warmly," I'm frankly jealous. I walked into the coffee shop and smiled generally at everyone who looked at me, and every single person looked at me, but no one came over to me for the first five minutes. I almost walked right back out, because I was very nervous and didn't know what to do. Finally, I walked up to a random friendly-looking man and introduced myself. Within probably thirty seconds I was surrounded by twelve men all getting way too in my space. One of them even playfully grabbed me around the waist and when I politely removed his hands he continued backing me up (with all the others) until I was literally trapped in a corner.

Fortunately, I was rescued by a delightful Domme who parted the crowd, introduced herself and maneuvered me out of the corner. She and her husband and the munch organizer all took me next door for a very comfortable conversation and I had a great time. Never going to a munch again - just way too many people backing me into corners :)

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 40
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