Question for parents

Question for parents (Full Version)

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AugustTearDrop -> Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:25:06 AM)
I guess you don't Have to be a parent to answer this but heres whats on my mind. I am 28 years old, and I have a daughter who is mildly autistic and almost ten years old. I try to be a good moderately classy example for her. I already have three tattoos and I am considering getting my belly button pierced. I'm in good shape and have been told many times it'd look cute on me. I have not done so because I fear how the decision might affect my daughter not that I walk around showing off my mid-drift but... swimsuit season Is comming and its gonna hurt and she's gonna know. So what do you think... parents with piercings Ok or major No no? I posted this on another site and got a 50/50 split between "do it" and "no, its trashy"

Lockit -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:27:52 AM)
Being genuine, consistent and true to yourself, rings true to a child. You present as anything you aren't and sooner or later, they will know and won't trust you. In teen years... good luck with that! Yikes!

hlen5 -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:29:00 AM)
If it looks good, and you want to, do it!

GreedyTop -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:36:35 AM)
unless you think the possible sight of the piercing might affect her negatively, why not? and what Lockit said...

poise -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:42:44 AM)
I don't think belly piercings carry with it the trashy stigma that it once did. (if it ever truly did) While I agree with what Lockit said, I also think it may help you to decide if you ask yourself how you would feel if your daughter decided to get one when she becomes an adult?

Lockit -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 9:43:43 AM)
My daughter and I had a running joke that we couldn't go shopping with one another because every time we did, we got something pierced. In fact, when she got her belly pierced, we had a party we took with us and had a group that started watching as she took it so well... until it was done, she stood and passed out! It's one of our favorite mom and daughter times, that a lot of other people enjoy to this day in the telling of the story. Hehehe (I advise eating before you go get holes poked into you.)

LafayetteLady -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 10:08:28 AM)
Yes, there are certain ways a parent should conduct themselves when with their children. As in don't go to school functions in a "need to trim the pubes" mini-skirt, half shirt, fish nets and come fuck me heels. It is inappropriate. But when you are out without your child, no problem with that stuff if that is what you want to wear. So in other words, if you want to pierce your belly button, go for it. I doubt anyone would think it inappropriate on the beach, but certainly, for school functions or parties you attend with your daughter, dress appropriately and don't worry about it.

IrishMist -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 10:15:04 AM)
I am pierced in quite a few places, and tattoo'd to go with it. My kids have always been facinated by this. My oldest daughter was 15 when I took her to get her belly pierced, and for her 18th birthday, she asked for a tattoo on the back of her neck. Pretty cool, I thought. My youngest daughter is not interested in piercings of any kind, but she did get herself a tattoo for her 18th birthday also. I have piercings, I have tattoo's. I like both. No reason to try and hide that side of myself ( I also like knives, and have a kick ass collection....which my kids always thought was 'cool, in a weird adult kind of way'. If you want the piercing, get it. If your daughter is affected negatively by 'seeing' it, then just keep it covered when she is around. No big deal.

littlewonder -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 10:59:39 AM)
I had tats since before my daughter was born but after she was born I tried to not really show them off around her until she was much older even though most of them really can't be seen at all. I decided to wait and get piercings until she had moved out just because I was not comfortable with her looking at me and thinking I was going through some kind of midlife crisis or her constantly telling me to grow up and act like a mom and not a teenager because that is how my daughter is. I would say, how comfortable are you with the whole deal? How do you think your daughter will react? Only you would know that.

LaTigresse -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 11:18:12 AM)
The type of people I tend to spend the bulk of my time with still do find tattoos and piercings(except ears singly) trashy. As do I. I also feel that there are types of clothing that need to be kept to certain ages. Given that is MY opinion and how I see it, I wouldn't be getting tattoos or additional piercings because it would be extremely hypocritical and well........I don't find them attractive so why would I......? I am all about personal responsibility. If a person is willing to do something that a majority of people around them find distasteful in some way, and be open about it, then they also need to be willing to accept that a majority of those people that find it distasteful will also think differently about them. It's part of the package for better or worse. If as a parent, I live in an area where there are accepted norms, I either need to be willing to conform and avoid drama involving my kid/s, or be willing to deal with the shit that I may get from others and from my kid/s. I also need to accept that my kid/s MAY be treated differently by other kids and/or adults because of my nonconformity......for better or worse.

GreedyTop -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 11:35:57 AM)
~FR~ the reason I mentioned the possibility of her daughter reacting negatively was because her daughter is mildly autistic. None of us know whatkinds of triggers her child may have.

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 11:43:43 AM)
I think the answer to this question has to do with why you are getting the tattoo or piercing to begin with. Are you doing it because it is trendy and the "in" thing to do and is that how you want your child to reason things out in her life. Are you fighting against something (like societal views on body modification) and do you believe that throwing such things out in a way that forces someone to think about them is how things should be delbt with. Do you want your child thinking that is how you reason things out in life. Do you think of it as an art form and believe people should not be limited by what others think. Can you communicate the reasons for why you want tattoos or piercings to your child. I'm not going to say "do it" and I'm not going to say "don't do it" Both actions can/will lead you to be judged by others. I think what is important is that you know why you want them, or why you don't. And that you use that to teach your child that everything they ever do will lead someone to judge them. Tell the child to decide based on what they really know about themself and then teach them to stand behind that. from a parent with both ink and holes

daddyneedsluv -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 1:12:54 PM)
After reading the other responses on here, I figured I should just tell you about me. I am a man that has played a significant role in the lives of 7 children. All of them different and one is a special needs child that is now about to be 15. Every single one of my kids have shown me that being true and honest is the best route to go. I have many tattoos and my ears are pierced (I used to have my nipples pierced). I am quite different from other parents, but I am true to who I am. All 7 of the kids are different and have turned out to be wonderful human beings. Yes, some of them have tattoos and most have piercings, but they are all individuals and true to their own identity. Which is what I tried to teach them. Not a one of them has ever said anything negative about my stylistic approach to expression of self. The worst I ever got was the 20 questions that come up with every tattoo in regard to meaning. I can live with that considering all of my artwork has deep seeded meaning and relevance as to who I am. For me, I say be yourself and do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't directly hurt the children. Tattoos and piercing will not hurt them.

SoulAlloy -> RE: Question for parents (3/20/2012 4:52:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Being genuine, consistent and true to yourself, rings true to a child. You present as anything you aren't and sooner or later, they will know and won't trust you. In teen years... good luck with that! Yikes! I think Lockit said it best :) My son's got mild aspergers, and also almost 10. I try and be a good example to him and often have to explain things in much greater detail - he is great at asking awkward questions! He also has a knack of listening in when you don't think he is lol At the end of the day though it comes down to whether you would be happy with them doing the same thing. Because "Do as I say, not as I do" only goes so far :-P If, as LaTigresse mentions, the local population object then it will be a lesson in how to deal with that, just try and be prepared for it if you think it will happen Personally I don't see the harm

CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: Question for parents (3/21/2012 2:56:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy If, as LaTigresse mentions, the local population object then it will be a lesson in how to deal with that, just try and be prepared for it if you think it will happen My kids went to school in an upper middle class school district, I was asked by both children several times to chaperone, as well as attended a lot of school functions. I thought I was fairly 'normal' in appearance by that time but I still had long hair and still wore earrings. My daughter recently told me that one of the clearest memories she has growing up is one of the times I chaperoned and that getting off the bus she was crying, I asked her what was wrong. She said that one of the girls was teasing her because her father was weird. I looked at her, told her that I was who I was and that I didn't care what some kid thought of me. Nor was I going to change because of what someone else thought. I don't remember this instance but the way she old it, I am certain it happened... considering when she retold it she said she censored my response. I do appreciate taking in consideration your child's situation but I think showing them how to be, not who to be... is important.

TNDommeK -> RE: Question for parents (3/21/2012 3:02:45 PM)
quote: None of us know whatkinds of triggers her child may have. I think this is a good point. I don't feel tattoos or piercings are wrong or trashy. Oh and kudos to Me for finally figuring out how to do the quote thingie, even if it was by accident. lol

AugustTearDrop -> RE: Question for parents (3/21/2012 7:24:01 PM)
Thanks for all the well thought out responses, I did (as always) take my time to read each one. I think its important for me to ask people these questions (specially other parents) as I am a single parent, she is my first and only child and if I wasn't clueless enough about raising kids (thats a joke cuz I'm smart enough to look at how desicions affect her) I'm even more clueless about raising a special needs child (without help). I haven't quite made a final decision yet (mostly cuz that loud noise the gun makes when you get pierced scares the hell outta me) lol. If I do bite the bullet and have it done I will be sure to add a pic of it to my hp. (ya i clicked on a smiley cuz I wanted to see what it would do~newbie lol.)

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