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Joxtronian -> New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:25:42 PM)
What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave. Sorry if this has been asked before, but it just seems that I got the wrong definition of dom&slave. Thank you in advance.

amaidiamond -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:33:21 PM)
quote: > What does it mean to be a TRUE dom I don't think there is such a thing because that would mean there is "one twue way" and there is not. My advice would be to stop thinking of trying to be true and work on being true to yourself, your needs and desires and expectations from both yourself and your slave. quote: > what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave Well to me, AS a slave - if a man tried to cater to me it would put me right off, my pleasure comes from serving him not having him try to keep me happy...

JanahX -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:34:20 PM)
A TWUE DOM or MASTER - fucks and uses their slave until they cant see straight, throws them in a cage when done and throws peanuts at it when bored.

Joxtronian -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:37:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amaidiamond quote: > What does it mean to be a TRUE dom I don't think there is such a thing because that would mean there is "one twue way" and there is not. My advice would be to stop thinking of trying to be true and work on being true to yourself, your needs and desires and expectations from both yourself and your slave. quote: > what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave Well to me, AS a slave - if a man tried to cater to me it would put me right off, my pleasure comes from serving him not having him try to keep me happy... Solid advice, thanks! quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX A TWUE DOM or MASTER - fucks and uses their slave until they cant see straight, throws them in a cage when done and throws peanuts at it when bored. Good thing I've been saving up then ;) Peanuts get expensive!

Endivius -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:50:12 PM)
I prefer using mine as a footstool or ashtray when i'm bored; sometimes i will see how many golf balls I can fit inside her. I'm odd though...

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:52:35 PM)
As has been mentioned, there is no one true path to BDSM, it is (highly) recommended that you research and learn and discover and eventually find your own personal path. That said, I would say a good dominant is one who: Knows him/herself well, and has his/her emotional issues under control. Displays good moral character (I will let the individual define what that is). Naturally takes a leadership role in most group situations; not always strong from the top leadership but often excellent (and usually very subtle) consensus building. Understands the nature of the term power exchange, in that it only works well when there is an actual exchange. Is confident and can articulate his/her wants/needs/desires. Is not afraid of being wrong or of having an emotional soft side, and who can apologize when the need arises. Takes the time to research any and all BDSM practices to ensure the s-types' health and safety. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it should get you started. Best, CP

JeffBC -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 1:52:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Joxtronian What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave. Sorry if this has been asked before, but it just seems that I got the wrong definition of dom&slave. Thank you in advance. True Dom There is no generally accepted meaning to that phrase. What it means is that "you're not the right dom for her" when she says it. What's a "true dom" for one is not for the other. It also means the person using the phrase is... well... inexperienced or perhaps parochial... judgemental at the very least. Pleasing his slave You'll need to ask the specific slave in question. I can tell you that the word means different things to different people. Then, of course, different people are looking for different things out a relationship. To please Carol, I make her the top-most priority in my life and I wrap her up in love and safety -- and I have for quite some time now. I also have a proven track record of making non-stupid decisions... generally. Those things together are sufficient reason for Carol to decide to give herself to me as human property.

poise -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 2:02:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Joxtronian What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave. Sorry if this has been asked before, but it just seems that I got the wrong definition of dom&slave. Thank you in advance. Unless you are planning world domination, you only have to worry about being a true dom to whomever you are in a relationship with. Since you get to define how your relationship is going to work, using your own definitions will be sufficient. Simply find someone who thinks you're awesome just as you are.

JeffBC -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 2:26:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise you're awesome just as you are. ROFL... yeah... or in my case, marry such a woman. Then later when you find out about the whole M/s, ownership thing she says, "Well yeah, you're pretty awesome so why not?" It actually does amuse (and flatter me) a great deal that Carol sees me in an awesome enough light that the whole "not belong to herself" thing goes into the "sure why not" bin. Now I just need to live up to that view and I'm all set.

DarkSteven -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 3:42:34 PM)
First step is to have a visible profile.

DesFIP -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 7:23:24 PM)
Cashews please, the only peanuts I like are m & m peanuts. Talk to her about what she likes, what she thinks she might like, what she doesn't like and why. Then start by doing things that turn both of you on. Don't try to do something you aren't sure you can do correctly. Hurting someone and finishing the evening in the ER is on nobody's list of a good time. If she was single tailed once, and you don't know which end is up, then don't do it. Take classes on it, practice, practice, practice. There are books for beginner tops. They talk about safety and how to start with very low risk. In bondage for example, using a couple of scarves to tie someone's wrists to the bedpost is low risk. Suspension is high.

JeffBC -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 8:39:10 PM)
Here's another tip. Be able to crisply define what YOU mean by slave. Trust me on this. Nobody else will guess it unless you tell them.

RedMagic1 -> RE: New on the scene. (3/20/2012 8:48:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Joxtronian What does it mean to be a TRUE dom, and what tips would you give a new guy on pleasing his slave. Sorry if this has been asked before, but it just seems that I got the wrong definition of dom&slave. Thank you in advance. Someone who no longer posts here once said: True doms have bigger dicks. Uberdoms are bigger dicks.

hellionsLight -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 7:02:41 AM)
Why would you "please" your slave? Isn't the slave suppose to please "you" which in turn pleases them? I'm confused.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 7:19:04 AM)
Why not please the slave? Maybe pleasing the slave pleases the Master/Mistress.

hellionsLight -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 7:35:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Why not please the slave? Maybe pleasing the slave pleases the Master/Mistress. Okay, that's true :)

CaptJosh -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 7:41:55 AM)
I have to say, when my pet is getting off, I am very pleased that I'm the one making that happen. In turn, it turns me on even more, and I do more, and even if I don't cum at a given time with her, I know my needs will be taken care of at some point, as my pet can't keep her hands off me. [:D] I am a giving, caring, protecting type Dom rather than a disciplinarian. Though pet seems awfully fond of spankings... chuckles

JeffBC -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 8:07:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hellionsLight Why would you "please" your slave? Isn't the slave suppose to please "you" which in turn pleases them? no, slaves are not "supposed" to do anything. In addition, this viewpoint is perhaps suited to more temporary relationships but in most cases I'd say that there are lots of reasons to please one's slave. Starting right out with the fact that I'm apparently not entirely unique in loving the bejeebers out of mine. Then, of course, comes the fact that when considered over the course of an entire lifetime of owning a human, "pleasing me" just isn't much of a life's goal. It's sort of a waste of a human life. I'd hope for more for Carol. I have yet to meet a single human no matter how "slave-ey" that could reach self-actualization and fulfilment simply by pleasing another. Typically us humans are more complex than that.

sunshinemiss -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 8:13:34 AM)
People who don't make their s-types happy soon find themselves s-type-less.

hellionsLight -> RE: New on the scene. (3/21/2012 8:26:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: hellionsLight Why would you "please" your slave? Isn't the slave suppose to please "you" which in turn pleases them? I have yet to meet a single human no matter how "slave-ey" that could reach self-actualization and fulfilment simply by pleasing another. Typically us humans are more complex than that. I definitely agree with this.

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