RE: More late night pondering's.....

RE: More late night pondering's..... (Full Version)

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thishereboi -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 5:45:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion. Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume. Ok, so now we know why you post alot, but the question was about subs. I think the ones who said "Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all" or similar and the fact that there are so many more females on here. I personally haven't noticed it, but I really haven't looked.

VanessaChaland -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 5:56:04 AM)
Yea, I've posted a couple hundred messages in 5 years. Compared to you that is "a lot". :) quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi quote: ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion. Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume. Ok, so now we know why you post alot, but the question was about subs. I think the ones who said "Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all" or similar and the fact that there are so many more females on here. I personally haven't noticed it, but I really haven't looked.

thishereboi -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 5:57:44 AM)
Actually I was thinking more about the passive aggressive part but thanks for playing.

TNDommeK -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 10:33:04 AM)
I absolutely LOVE when you post! Your wittiness is awesome. lol Your signature came to mind when I read this page's thread.

VideoAdminGamma -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 3:40:59 PM)
Fast reply Please comment on the Original post or slight thread drift, and not on each other. Thank you for being a part of CollarMe, VideoAdminGamma

LoreBook -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 4:17:12 PM)
The question is basically "Why are submissives so bitchy?" Personally I think its because they have to put up with us D-types, and we're really not an easy group to live with.

LunaM -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 4:49:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci I second this as well. (or third or fourth as the case may be)

DesFIP -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 5:49:26 PM)
Nope. Firstly, I'm submissive to one and one only. To everyone else I might as well be vanilla or dominant. Secondly, I'm not allowed to submit to anyone else, especially not to somebody I don't know except for the fact that they give themselves the title of dominant. Thirdly, the fact that I have a brain and use it has no bearing on how I relate to my partner. Fourthly, what you consider aggressive and not subly is what a lot of the rest of us consider honest and even blunt. Telling someone who is engaging in huge amounts of self denial that she should accept sending naked pics to some guy she knows nothing about is a good thing would be a lie, which I don't do. Moreover although it would save her a little bit of hurt today, it helps set her up for a lot of hurt tomorrow when his wife finds out. If someone is honest and says they only want to rant and get sympathy, we're mostly willing to listen and say 'there, there'. But when someone claims to want honest advice, they ought to be willing to get it. I don't mind read, especially I don't mind read over a computer. So I take people at their word. They ask for advice, they get it. If they are lying to themselves and don't want advice, then they shouldn't ask for it. Comparison. You go to the doctor for a nagging chest cough. Do you want him to be honest and say he needs an xray because he suspects lung cancer or do you want him to assure you it isn't anything and let you continue on your way not worrying?

FrostedFlake -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/23/2012 12:48:51 AM)
Uhm, ahem, we are not 'playing'. It really is that simple. In 'real life', I am not at all submissive.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/23/2012 1:01:51 AM)
FR Me personally have built up a self defense mechanism to cope with my strong desire and need to please others...

ProlificNeeds -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/23/2012 9:19:39 AM)
FR~ I don't equate 'submissive' with passive. I don't think one's relationship orientation has anything to do with how passive, or assertive they can be. I do however think lack of manners and poor attitudes is often because the persons parents didn't bring out the wooden spoon or belt enough! [:D]

TNDommeK -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/23/2012 10:25:47 AM)
Oh goodness you just sent me back to childhood, lol. I got the worst spanking of My life when I was a kid with a wooden spoon! LOL But you're right about that.

cloudboy -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 12:09:03 PM)
quote: Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful? I think its a CMMB pattern, and I have not particularly noticed subs as "more aggressive posters." Some of my favorite posters were maledoms: simplymichael, LordandMaster, and Domiguy. Great reads, but I don't want to have sex with them.

slaverachel2Him -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 2:00:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes. In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought. Just a bit of one. Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? Hear me out, please. I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality. ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style! Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful? Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night. *"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)* Believe it or not this is a VERY common question in people's minds. i think some people are compartmentalized, not everyone is 24/7 therefore not able to or whatever to be respectful to others who piss them off. IF not 24/7 there is not a lot of desire to have a mindset that is not so much "slavey or subbie", not submissive to everyone they meet, but respectful, polite and deferring. This is NOT passive which is actually a problematic behavior. Everyone has a little bit of ability to get aggressive- though assertive is better as it doesn't imply "power over" and is sill respectful. i do think some people DO have cognitive dissonance. There is perhaps a discomfort in being submissive and fear of being vulnerable to the wrong person, being viewed as weak, or easily taken advantage of. Some i DO believe are REALLY not so submissive and will eventually move on. My friends and i often mull this one over-especially after seeing particularly vicious attacks on newbies or Masters and Doms. i know of some people who have had reputations for attacking and then seeing their lives you can see they are venting, or in psychic pain over something and taking it out on someone less likely to strike ack.

slaverachel2Him -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 3:53:25 PM)
Some people do confuse respect and politeness as submission or passivity, which it is not.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 6:14:14 PM)
When it comes to posting on the message board... I feel like a tired animal next to the watering hole. I'm rather burned out from the repetition of the same topics.

DesFIP -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 7:21:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaverachel2Him i think some people are compartmentalized, not everyone is 24/7 therefore not able to or whatever to be respectful to others who piss them off. Rachel, I'm confused. You seem to be saying that if you're in a 24/7 relationship with one person as a sub/slave/property that therefore you must be a sub/slave/etc to everyone else in the world. If so, allow me to clear up that misconception. My relationship with him has nothing to do with my 30 second relationship with the op when I responded. And again, you seem to feel that not telling the truth when you disagree is the only way to be respectful whereas most of us feel it shows more respect to someone to be honest in an attempt to help them avoid worse in the future.

Winterapple -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/24/2012 11:17:42 PM)
FR I haven't noticed any notable amount of lashing out from submissives or anyone else. Strong opinions and snark sure but not just from one slice of the population. I think more than anything some people (I don't mean you, Lisa) have stereotypes about how submissives especially female ones are suppose to be and how they are suppose to behave. A lot of the grousing seems to come from people who come to the boards from the chatrooms. They don't understand they are two entirely different kettle of fish. A message board is about the free exchange of ideas and opinions. Roleplay and protocol would kill the forums. But some seem to expect submissives to do the girl of boy humbly asks permission to offer his or hers worthless opinion before their superiors thing. And of course a female submissive who disagrees with a male Dom is obviously a poser. And as for this remember how you identify on your profile stuff ie remember your place, people can identify however they choose to identify and are equally free to interpret that role and identity as they choose. It's a big world and it's different strokes for different folks. Some doms want submissives who are only submissive to them. Seeing their submissive genuflect to every other stranger on the Internet isn't a turn on for them. I don't know any mouse in the corner so passive she can't tie her own shoes submissives. I know competent women who have jobs, raise families, have opinions and interests. They are submissive to their doms and may engage in activities where protocols are observed but they aren't submissive to the world. They are submissive to they choose to be submissive to. Women on the boards may in general post more than men. But there's no shortage of male posts here. Male posters usually chime in on every thread that doesn't involve questions about vagina maintenance and even then. A woman can make the same statement a man does but hers will often be judged as sharper in tone. Online postings can sound more aggressive than they would in a face to face exchange. But I don't think that should keep submissives from posting their opinions or that we're obligated to put a I don't mean that in a bad way disclaimer on every post. Submissives are people and come in all variaties.

DesFIP -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/25/2012 9:32:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds I do however think lack of manners and poor attitudes is often because the persons parents didn't bring out the wooden spoon or belt enough! [:D] Funny about that, I find people who were abused as children to have worse attitudes and manners.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/26/2012 1:30:32 PM)
My thoughts on all this, is that some people are bored and love to engage in mental S&M when the opportunity presents itself. Some people starting threads are simply fun targets, compared to others.

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