have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (Full Version)

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seeksroommate -> have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:19:21 PM)

hello all [:)]
well kinda in a weird spot i guess, i have been with M for over a year. i have always known or felt the name he gave me as his well wasn't. as we have spent a bit more time i've brought it up a few times loll ok once more but only at that time his last name changed. idk i honestly care for this man just where do i stand if he cannot be honest about who he is? so do you ask for proof? am still unsure what i should do?



lizi -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:22:24 PM)

Online or real life? Been together a year in what capacity? FWB or something else?



seeksroommate -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:23:05 PM)

realtime weekly sorry ?fwb? terminology ? we talk text daily, see each other a few days a week



IrishMist -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:26:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksroommate

hello all [:)]
well kinda in a weird spot i guess, i have been with M for over a year. i have always known or felt the name he gave me as his well wasn't. as we have spent a bit more time i've brought it up a few times loll ok once more but only at that time his last name changed. idk i honestly care for this man just where do i stand if he cannot be honest about who he is? so do you ask for proof? am still unsure what i should do?

If you have been together for a year, and you still don't know his name; my guess would be that if you push it, he's going to say goodbye.

You need to make the decision of how much knowing would really affect you.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:27:03 PM)

Look at his drivers license.



IrishMist -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:28:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Look at his drivers license.

Yea, but that's sneaking around.

If it's something that is really, really important to her, then she needs to make an issue out of it.

I would think that after a year, it obviously is not that big an issue.



RedMagic1 -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:29:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksroommate
i honestly care for this man just where do i stand if he cannot be honest about who he is?

You stand smack dab in the middle of "Next time don't intentionally ignore red flags so you can feel feelings for a man" land.



IrishMist -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:32:59 PM)

quote:

You stand smack dab in the middle of "Next time don't intentionally ignore red flags so you can feel feelings for a man" land.

LOL



seeksroommate -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:33:11 PM)

i know seems the more i felt let it go just idk, couldnt maybe i need to look at it see if there is more. he is M so to question him now is not an easy thing but i think if he brings up tattoo again im gettin a peep at his drivers license with his permission i don't do sneaky



LadyHibiscus -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:35:05 PM)

I dint mean rifle his wallet, I mean ASK to see it. He might be your dominant but that doesn't mean he gets free rein to lie to you.



mynxkat -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:36:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Look at his drivers license.


Ask to see his drivers license. If he refuses, I'd consider that to be a really huge red flag (this is in addition to the several I spotted in your first post). You can also try a reverse look up on his phone number on whitepages.com.

Do you meet at his place, at yours, or at some third place?

FWB= friends with benefits




DarkSteven -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:38:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksroommate
am still unsure what i should do?


Run like hell. Better late than never.



mynxkat -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:40:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

He might be your dominant but that doesn't mean he gets free rein to lie to you.


THIS! Oh so very much this! Lying to me about who you are is an absolute dealbreaker. Lying to me about anything, really, is going to cause some major issues.




seeksroommate -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:42:25 PM)

never meet in public, always a room haha yes third place as such, reverse lookup is not a good one i know his business name and such loll honestly i have said his name to him and he denied said was a business partner but age, address and his car parked out front of " business partners" house on google maps lollin look i know its bad yes ??? ~sucktastic~

ty am bad with the hmu, fwb, ltr, letters for words ha!



poise -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:49:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksroommate

hello all [:)]
well kinda in a weird spot i guess, i have been with M for over a year. i have always known
or felt the name he gave me as his well wasn't. as we have spent a bit more time i've brought
it up a few times loll ok once more but only at that time his last name changed. idk i
honestly care for this man just where do i stand if he cannot be honest about who he is?
so do you ask for proof? am still unsure what i should do?

Just to clarify, this man legally had a name change during the course of your relationship,
or suddenly gave you a different name then the one he gave you previously?

I would ask him outright, and while it may be an uncomfortable conversation, it won't be as
bad as continuing to devote your time to a man that you think is not being honest with you.



lizi -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:49:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seeksroommate

realtime weekly sorry ?fwb? terminology ? we talk text daily, see each other a few days a week


Sorry for the confusion, yeah, friends with benefits.

Ok, well, this makes not a whole lot of sense to me that you'd be seeing someone that often for this long and feel that he's been dishonest with you on something pretty crucial that has ramifications into other crucial territory. If you aren't sure who he is, that seems pretty drastic and unfathomable to me. How could that be acceptable to anyone? If your daughter, best friend, or niece told you they were with a man for a year and weren't sure if they knew his correct name wouldn't you want to get that woman to a psych evaluation?

Maybe that seems harsh to you. I'm a big proponent of the fact that we are all in control of our own lives, we don't leave things up to chance, we make decisions and set forth to steer things in the right direction. As a submissive/slave, you are still in control of yourself and who you accept as being your leader. How can anyone be accepted as you leader if you aren't sure who they are? Tell this man that you have some concerns that you'd like to clear up, that they are bothersome to you and you'd like to lay the burden of them down, and you'd like to see his driver's license. Be fully prepared that at that point he may walk away or you may find out he is indeed someone else. The alternative is to continue with someone never knowing who they are.



littlewonder -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:51:47 PM)

I asked him after our 3rd date. He showed me his drivers license.

I don't understand how you can see each other in real life and not know his real name. I mean, don't you ever go to his home and see mail lying around? Never been out somewhere and he pulls out a credit card to pay for dinner? I just don't get it.

I mean if you truly don't know and want to know then simply ask him. If he gets butthurt and storms off in a huff then you know where his priorities lie and it ain't with you.



ShibsStories -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:57:41 PM)

He sounds married.
Has he ever introduced you to anyone from his life?
Friends/family/bar buddies/co-workers?



seeksroommate -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:57:57 PM)

ty lizi true
this is what i need well and a few others cleared up with him before i can decide to move on or stay, i have enjoyed our time together and mostly assumed because he is a business owner at some point he had been burned. but for me to give myself completely i need full disclosure

ty all for your responses



LadyHibiscus -> RE: have you ever had a potential prove who they are? (3/23/2012 8:58:12 PM)

Or are you just having clandestine meetings in hotel rooms? I hope you aren't paying for the room every time...



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