quote:




It's also why most female subs enjoy being called "MY SLUT" but cannot be comfortable just calling themselves "A SLUT."  The possessive form of "my" allows them to feel secure and desired without the negative connotations of being an actual slut.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sabswife
not this sub, being sexual doesn't make me a slut

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

The reason I bring it up on the forum is because I wonder at times if vanilla men that look for submissive women for kinky sex have ended up in a sexless vanilla marriage precisely because of this complex. They sought out a woman for marriage that was the "good girl" and they cannot express their "needs" to her, so they look for one of those "slutty" submissives to date on the side.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

I think this is very true. I've found that many men I've known have been very interested in bdsm, but when it comes down to having a relationship, they walk away from the kinky girl, and end up with very sexually inhibited women.

I've often wondered if it's the Madonna/Whore thing, or whether they subconciously fear that they will not be able to satisy, and hold onto, a "wild woman" in the long run.

The interesting thing is I've also seen it in the BBW community. Men who love to have sex with large women, but will not date or marry one. For most of them there's that social stigma of not being with a woman everyone else considers acceptable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The cause is simple. Whether it's a vanilla marriage or an alternative relationship; people are so insecure that they lack the confidence to be who they are. Instead of releasing those feelings and trying to become more self-aware, they instead seek 'approval' by acting as they think others want them to. They act as 'society' decides, their work place, their parents, their spouse; expects them to act. It turns out that their whole life is a result of that 'act'. So begins the rationalization, that unfortunately for some, only dies when they do.

There is no 'Madonna/Whore' complex from the inside. External pressures create the conflict. "I love you too much to make love to you." "I see you as the mother of our child and can't see you as my sexual partner." A man who uses these excuses with a partner is using them to rationalize the end result of years of 'acting'. The people who may need to see an 'act' are the people outside the relationship. The employers, the parents, the children contingent upon their age all may need to see an 'act' sometimes at some point. Your partner in a relationship can never be dealing with an 'act'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

That could be the caselLevel...however; many new people come to the forum and being told it is an archived discussion (in my opinion), is the same as saying, "This topic is finished..go read here and find out what we discussed..." No offense was meant at all.  Juliaoceania is a dear friend of mine in real-life, and referring to her post as one that's been discussed, seems to lessen the impact of what she's trying to examine to the group, esp newbies.
Respectfully[:)]
Irish 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyseekinglord

I find this somewhat depressing.  I was raised as a "good girl", Catholic and everything.  I also definitely have the slut inside.  I am both. 

Its hard finding someone with whom I can be all of myself with.  The guys who want the good girl and heart stuff don't satisfy the slut.  The guys who want the slut don't satisfy the good girl and the heart stuff.

Haven't given up yet though.

lady

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladyseekinglord

Its hard finding someone with whom I can be all of myself with.  The guys who want the good girl and heart stuff don't satisfy the slut.  The guys who want the slut don't satisfy the good girl and the heart stuff.

quote:

I am talking about men that believe they should marry the "good girl" and have sex with "whores".

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

julia is certainly very bright and interesting, but I was a little disappointed that she couldn't find a way to work George Bush into this thread [8D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

julia is certainly very bright and interesting, but I was a little disappointed that she couldn't find a way to work George Bush into this thread [8D]

quote:

  Its hard finding someone with whom I can be all of myself with.  The guys who want the good girl and heart stuff don't satisfy the slut.  The guys who want the slut don't satisfy the good girl and the heart stuff.