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myotherself -> RE: advice (3/25/2012 7:52:50 AM)
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Right OP, here's my advice.
According to your profile you've met your Dom a couple of times, the first time about 2 weeks ago. If he's pushing so hard at your boundaries after barely knowing you in the flesh that you are made uncomfortable and distressed enough to ask for advice, then you need to slow things down.
In the first few weeks of my relationship with my Master, he told me to do something that I was very uncomfortable with. I pondered and worried, then I talked to him and explained why it wasn't a good idea. He listened, agreed with me and we've made it a boundary we won't approach for quite some time to come. When I realised he was was willing to listen to me and put my welfare ahead of any kink, then I knew I had the real deal.
In my years of searching for the right man I met many of the 'insta-Dom' type. Those who want to plunge headfirst into the kind of relationship that for most needs a significant time period to grow into. I've had the ones who won't listen and wave an imperious hand and demand my total obedience. Those I walked away from - it's better sooner rather than later.
But the kinky world is full of predators and assholes, some thinly disguised as knights in shining armour.
If ANYONE fails to give you the respect you deserve and/or actively tries to belittle or destroy your relationship, you need to ask whether they are the kind of person you can trust to put your welfare first.
I suggest going to your local munch and/or club. Not because you might find 'Master Right' there (although you might), but because you will get a much better idea how a healthy bdsm relationship actually looks.
Avoid those who seek to belittle and 'break' submissives - find a man who wants to nurture, inspire and love.
I wish you luck.
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