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Rochsub2009 -> RE: Relocation (4/3/2012 3:19:03 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Azanthis
So my question is, have you relocated for a BDSM relationship, and if so what were the motivators and the outcomes?
One thing to keep in mind is that talking on the telephone, or e-mailing, or Skyping is not the same as being there. It may seem similar, but it's not.
Having to deal with someone on a day-to-day basis is very different from talking on the phone. And it's very different from visiting a few times.
When you visit someone, or when they come to visit you, you're both on your best behavior. You clean up your house before they arrive. You get your hair done. You treasure every moment that you're together.
But when you move to be together, you get to see the real person. Nobody can be on their best behavior all the time. So you start to realize that his house isn't always super clean. In fact, it's a mess most of the time and he throws his dirty clothes on the floor.
Similarly, he learns that you are cranky in the morning until you have your coffee. He learns that you can't cook. Or that you want to have 9 cats in the house.
The wonderful Dr. Jekyl that you've been in a long-distance relationship with can often become the terrible Mr. Hyde when you move in with him. Don't overlook anything that makes you feel uneasy about a person. It's okay for a sub/slave to question a potential Dom/Domme/Master, particularly if you are planning to relocate for that person.
Never let fantasy or romance keep you from thinking through the practical realities of moving. For example, if you know that being close to your family is very important to you, don't pretend like it's not. You'll only get depressed when you're no longer able to see them on a regular basis. And if you live in a big city and love going out on the town on a regular basis, understand that you're not going to be able to do that if you move to a small rural town. For some people, those transitions are easy. For others, they are difficult or even impossible.
These may seem like common sense tips, but love/romance often makes us forget about common sense. Don't ever do that. Think with your head, not with your heart. And never make important life decisions while in the middle of sub frenzy.
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