Red flags? (Full Version)

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DomMale46 -> Red flags? (3/31/2012 8:26:55 AM)

I've had a couple of exchanges with so-called subs/slaves and after trading a few e-mails I have a lot of red flags in my mind. So I am curious, what do other Doms see as red flags when contacting a prospective sub for the first time?

My first thought is how they ask for relocation money without any regard for what is going to happen to anything they might own.

The second one is a complete abandon of wanting to know me, they just throw themselves into slavery with no regard for who I might be.

Thoughts?



OsideGirl -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 8:51:55 AM)

Which usually means that they're a scammer.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 8:53:29 AM)

Those are standard techniques of online dating scams. You'll run into them on places like Match as well, but they are extra-heavy here, because sending and receiving email is free.

In general, if a "woman" seems super-double-plus into you right away, and wants to Yahoo with you immediately, be cautious. Most real women are careful with their offsite contact information.



artemiss -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 9:31:52 AM)

Were they also twenty one, and super model gorgeous?  Because that would be another red flag.  This isn't rocket science.  If it doesn't seem realistic, it probably isn't real.  If you comment sense says this probably wouldn't happen in real life, (like meeting some hot young thing in a bar, who after one night wants you to move her in), then it is probably a scam.



DarkSteven -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 9:38:13 AM)

A horribly typed and spelled profile.
An interest in kinky sex, rather than the mental aspects of D/s, or simply vanilla concerns.
Someone moving fast.
Someone messaging me, calling me Master.
The term "by name" after she gives her name.
Living in a fictitious city in my state.
A profile designed to exclude as few matches as possible.



LadyPact -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 9:51:19 AM)

My thoughts?????

Take the target off of your back.  You are ripe for the picking from the on-line stuff.



peppermint -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 10:13:02 AM)

I have to agree with LadyPact on this one.  Profile says you have money as you own your own home.  You have a good job in the computer industry so you have more money.  Being 46 and never married puts you in the desperate to have a relationship before I die category.  You are the perfect target for the scammers and they will zero in on that profile. 



angelikaJ -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 11:17:01 AM)

To the OP
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I have to agree with LadyPact on this one.  Profile says you have money as you own your own home.  You have a good job in the computer industry so you have more money.  Being 46 and never married puts you in the desperate to have a relationship before I die category.  You are the perfect target for the scammers and they will zero in on that profile. 


Take the part out of your profile that makes it seem as though you want someone to move in right away.

Scammers and fakes aside, there are some women who are new to this who just want to be owned by anyone and specificity doesn't really matter to them because they are on the other end of the desperation scale.

One part of this is that they are caught up in the idea that if you are submissive it means you submit to everyone.

Think about what it is you are really looking for: someone who wants to be with anyone who will have her or someone compatible and who wants the specificity of being in a relationship with you.

take you time in really getting to know someone and be willing to be patient.



Musicmystery -> RE: Red flags? (3/31/2012 11:26:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMale46

I've had a couple of exchanges with so-called subs/slaves and after trading a few e-mails I have a lot of red flags in my mind. So I am curious, what do other Doms see as red flags when contacting a prospective sub for the first time?

My first thought is how they ask for relocation money without any regard for what is going to happen to anything they might own.

The second one is a complete abandon of wanting to know me, they just throw themselves into slavery with no regard for who I might be.

Thoughts?

I think you're beginning to wake up.



Englishcrumpet -> RE: Red flags? (4/1/2012 1:23:56 PM)

all of the above.

i havent read youre profile, im just taking from what others have said:  but if youre mentioning wealth here then youre using it as a 'carrot' im guessing on purpose and so youre kinda lining youreself up for the gold diggers, of which there are plenty im sure.

as for the ones who are just throwing themselves at you without any interest in who you are, id say gold diggers again, theyre just being a bit more arch about it. 

lose the 'im wealthy come hither' approach.  it may go horribly quiet, but at least you'll know that when someone does contact you or you contact someone they wont be seeing dollar signs - they'll be seeing you.



Baroana -> RE: Red flags? (4/1/2012 1:35:25 PM)

It's off topic, but since folks seem to be going into general profile feedback...

Put better photos up. Your current ones flatter you not.

Explain why any woman, submissive or otherwise, should give two shits about you. Letters after your name are not as impressive as you seem to think (especially when you can't spell).



LuneRune -> RE: Red flags? (4/1/2012 1:40:29 PM)

You are looking for someone that really rings your bell. You have interests in common, you have (hopefully) location in common. I typically do not answer letters from people who are really far away. I look at the tone of the letter. I look to the personalization of the letter. Was it really written for me, or is this a form letter? Form letters are a huge red flag. I recently got a letter from someone who stated that he loved my profile and thought I sounded like a maternal type. Oh really? My profile underwent a major purge and is almost blank, so he was fishing.



crazyml -> RE: Red flags? (4/3/2012 1:03:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMale46

I've had a couple of exchanges with so-called subs/slaves and after trading a few e-mails I have a lot of red flags in my mind. So I am curious, what do other Doms see as red flags when contacting a prospective sub for the first time?

My first thought is how they ask for relocation money without any regard for what is going to happen to anything they might own.

The second one is a complete abandon of wanting to know me, they just throw themselves into slavery with no regard for who I might be.

Thoughts?



Yep, those'll be red flags. Big reg flags, of the size that if you hung it off the back of a great big fuck-off aircraft carrier you'd be thinking "Hmmm.... maybe that flag is a little too big for that boat".

Think "BIG".

Then block and delete.



tng -> RE: Red flags? (4/3/2012 1:36:35 AM)

quote:

An interest in kinky sex, rather than the mental aspects of D/s
HEY! What's wrong with being slutty?



Killerangel -> RE: Red flags? (4/3/2012 6:38:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


Yep, those'll be red flags. Big reg flags, of the size that if you hung it off the back of a great big fuck-off aircraft carrier you'd be thinking "Hmmm.... maybe that flag is a little too big for that boat".

Think "BIG".

Then block and delete.


I'd have to agree with this. OP the red flags you mentioned are pretty obvious, so while it's great that you've caught on to them, it makes me worry that the subtler red flags are whizzing right on by your notice. Basically anyone on here who is bypassing the 'normal' routes about looking for and forming a relationship is probably not what you're looking for. Remember....the ratio of women on here is much smaller than that of men, if you have a woman contacting you, that right there is a bit unusual and needs to be pondered.

People on here do the same things that have been done forever when it comes to men and women, they chat, they date, they check each other out. There are casual arrangements and hookups, but it tends not to be as common as you'd think.



DomMale46 -> RE: Red flags? (4/4/2012 2:24:50 PM)

Thats kind of why I said it was a supposed sub/slave. Could be anyone behind the anonimity of the internet. I've found it fun to ask for video chats. And also telling them that relocation will consist of me driving to them, tying them up in my car, and showing them off to all the truckers we pass along the highway.

They tend to stop talking to me at that point. Dunno why though, I think it's a perfectly acceptable way for me to take possesion of them if they aren't going to give a rats ass about who I am.[:D]



OsideGirl -> RE: Red flags? (4/4/2012 6:11:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMale46
And also telling them that relocation will consist of me driving to them, tying them up in my car, and showing them off to all the truckers we pass along the highway.

They tend to stop talking to me at that point.


I'd stop talking to you at that point, too.



peppermint -> RE: Red flags? (4/4/2012 6:23:33 PM)

I'm still trying to figure out why you wrote in the forum in the first place.  Was it to show your great intelligence in spotting obvious scammers?  Was it to point out obvious scams to those of us who are not as smart as you and might believe the scam?  Was it just to gloat about the fun you have with scammers? 

Okay, you have spotted the obvious scams, the ones that Collarme lists and tells you about.  That's great!!  That is super!!  You won't fall for any of the less obvious ones, will you? 

Now get yourself off to a munch where you won't have to worry that the majority are trying to scam money out of you.  Meet people.  Have a good time.  Tell jokes.  Have a great dinner. 



LadyPact -> RE: Red flags? (4/4/2012 6:27:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMale46

Thats kind of why I said it was a supposed sub/slave. Could be anyone behind the anonimity of the internet. I've found it fun to ask for video chats. And also telling them that relocation will consist of me driving to them, tying them up in my car, and showing them off to all the truckers we pass along the highway.

They tend to stop talking to me at that point. Dunno why though, I think it's a perfectly acceptable way for me to take possesion of them if they aren't going to give a rats ass about who I am.[:D]

Anybody got a mirror?

OK, OP.  Exactly how many people have you tied up in your car?  Have you ever done an abduction scene?  How much role playing experience have you got?



LPslittleclip -> RE: Red flags? (4/4/2012 6:51:18 PM)

not willing to meet in the real time no refrences not willing to play in a public place or have some safty measures in place



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