Being a ass?

Being a ass? (Full Version)

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Kevinlee775 -> Being a ass? (4/1/2012 7:49:19 PM)
This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works? So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work? Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want?

hausboy -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:09:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775 This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works? So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work? Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want? I don't know Kevin. But I do know that I'm not going to treat people like crap just to "get some." I'd rather remain single and have some integrity. I would not want to get involved with a woman who was drawn to me because I acted like an ass. But that's me. If you're happy...and she's happy....more power to ya

Kevinlee775 -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:21:42 PM)
I am not sure if I am or not. What I am pondering is if I can stay the way I am and still get what I want without becoming a ass. While being a ass has a lot of benefits so far I am not sure if I fill right being that way.

Killerangel -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:38:34 PM)
Hausboy is right, what type of people are you attracting to you by being an ass, and would they be worthwhile to you? If it's not a trait of yours on a day to day basis then why would you want to keep being something you aren't in order to get something you may not really want in the end? I don't think there is much to be gained here except for some fleeting encounters and if that's what floats your boat fine, but it might not feel right to the 'real' you in the end. Ill gotten gains and all that.

hausboy -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:47:00 PM)
okay..but Kevin... think about it. She's attracted to you when you act like an ass. So if she finds out that you were just acting like an ass just to get her in bed... ...she'll think you're no longer acting the part.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:53:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775 This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works? So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work? Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want? Some people are here just to get laid, while others are also here to be talked rough to and humiliated. It takes all kinds. You might get a lot of tail by being an ass, and it might work for you for a while, but if you want a long term relationship...are any of these temporary ones you are enjoying right now going to be liveable for long term? Find out what you want and then go for it. Don't lower your own standards for ANYONE.

angelikaJ -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 8:58:45 PM)
The man who became Master to me: He was not an ass. He met me here on CM 3 years ago. We have been together ever since. He wasn't an ass then, isn't now and wasn't in between.

angelikaJ -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 9:06:58 PM)
Kevin, It is possible that when you are an ass you are also projecting self-confidence... and you generally don't feel that confident in real life? Women like confident men, and confidence is something you can learn.

hausboy -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 9:06:59 PM)
exactly Cynthia and Angelika... Women with good self-esteem won't be attracted to a guy that behaves like an ass. I do understand what Kevin is saying-- I went out on dates with women who seemed to have really low self esteem (amazing what you can learn on a first date)--I decided they weren't good matches and I polite declined a second date when they asked. A couple of them kept texting me and I started ignoring them. It seemed like the more I ignored them, the more they wanted to date me. I had to very clearly explain to them I wasn't interested. Common denominator? All of them had been in relationships with guys who treated them like doormats.

Kevinlee775 -> RE: Being a ass? (4/1/2012 10:35:34 PM)
quote: It is possible that when you are an ass you are also projecting self-confidence... and you generally don't feel that confident in real life? Women like confident men, and confidence is something you can learn. I would go with you on that point but I have more then enough self-confidence. I have no issue talking to women or asking them out. It just seems like I get more responses by being a ass then by being a good guy. I dont know why that is But I am trying to figure out. As odd as it may seem I asked on of my exs why she broke up with me. she said I was to nice of a guy. I was a ass about it and she wanted to give it another shot(never getting back with her). I am trying to rap my head around this. Also thank you to everyone who has given me advice. Every bit helps.

LaTigresse -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 4:01:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hausboy I don't know Kevin. But I do know that I'm not going to treat people like crap just to "get some." I'd rather remain single and have some integrity. I would not want to get involved with a woman who was drawn to me because I acted like an ass. But that's me. If you're happy...and she's happy....more power to ya This. On these forums we've seen quite a few examples of male ass. Each developed quite a female following. Yet, I never read that a single one had ever had any sort of successful long term relationships. Being an ass might get you laid but I doubt it will gain you a long term relationship. I've spent 22 years with a guy that only has assy moments (which I abhor btw) but then again, so do I ( I abhor those even more than his assy moments). But the fact of the matter is, he is a really nice human being. Someone I actually respect and that is pretty fucking rare. I trust him explicitly. If he was an ass when I met him, or consistantly at any time in the last 22 years.......we would not have been together for 22 years. I don't trust or enjoy, asses. (disclaimer.......of the sort this thread is discussing.....[:D])

kalikshama -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 5:17:04 AM)
quote: I'd rather remain single and have some integrity This ^

DarkSteven -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 6:11:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775 I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. Please define what you mean by "being an ass." What actions did you take? What did you say?

littlecherie -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 7:26:04 AM)
Master can be an 'jerk' sometimes, but he is always respectful toward everyone. If I had to change your personality to catch someone, I wouldn't be with them.

tng -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 9:55:58 AM)
quote: So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work? Bitches be crazy. quote: Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want? No, this is SERIOUS stuff!!

littlewonder -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 12:08:10 PM)
It doesn't....at least for me. I like that Master is well rounded, caring and sympathetic. I'd say the people you are running into that enjoy you being a dick are the same ones who are not looking for anything serious and are stuck in a fantasy world and not real life relationships. If all you are looking for is kinky sex and/or play and casual relationships then so be it and continue on. If not then be yourself and stop pretending to be someone else. Being yourself will be more successful in the end although it may take longer to find it. That's all long term serious relationships though...not just bdsm ones.

adx -> RE: Being a ass? (4/2/2012 4:16:30 PM)
Depending on what you mean by "being an ass" it can be a good thing. You will know if you have gone to far about the same time you hit the floor after trying to push shit you shouldn't have.

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