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Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:21:19 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		I am not very experienced at begging, but I've been asked a few times, "What would you do for it (whatever the "it" was at the time)?" or "How badly do you want it?" For example:

Dom: Do you want _____?
Sub: Yes, Sir.
Dom: I'd like to hear you beg for it.
Sub: Please, Sir, please!
Dom: How badly do you want it?
Sub: (This is where I get lost. Obviously, I want it bad, but just saying that sounds so lame.)
Dom: If you want it so badly, what would you do to get it?
Sub: (Again, I get lost. The first thing that pops into my head, of course, is "I'll do anything," but that's not really a genuine answer, IMO.)

I'm not looking for an answer, per se, but ideas from where I can pull my answer, if that makes sense.


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I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.
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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:31:54 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		I got nuthin'. All I keep thinking of is the "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" ads.



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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:32:14 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry in my experience, I seem to be bad at this too T.T

< Message edited by Soyokaze -- 4/3/2012 6:45:27 PM >

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:32:26 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

It's not always about WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.
I use to whine a lot as a kid, whining is obnoxious, so I learned to turn that into more appealing tones as I matured. Begging is the same idea, it's not what you say but your presentation. Tone of voice, expression, the position you're in, the full body language and movements. When they want you to beg, they want you to beg SEXY, not obnoxiously. Work on it in private, it's definitely a learned behavior and probably won't feel 'natural' at first.

Tone of voice - small, vulnerable, -wanting-.
Expression - anywhere from demure to desperate, tearful of batting lashes.
Body - Any physical position that he finds both arousing and submissive to him, on knees, belly, standing meekly with head down, whatever specific pose rings his bell.

When they ask what you'd do for it... treat it like a bartering match at a market... a bartering match you intend to lose, badly. The idea of begging, is to make your D feel empowered, to that end, find out what things do that for him.

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:36:08 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I used to have a play partner who wanted me to beg for things I didn't want but he did...I just couldn't do it.

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:36:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me it has to be something that I sincerely want. Otherwise it just feels fake and like roleplaying for me. So when he wants me to beg for something, it's something that I can't stand to go without any longer and something I want more than anything at that moment.

So the question is....how badly do you want whatever it is he wants you to beg for? If you find you can't find it in yourself then imo, you don't want it desperately enough.


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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:39:43 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		ProlificNeeds:

I absolutely understand about the reason why Doms like begging, and the tone of submission that they're looking for. I just never can come up with an answer that doesn't make me sound ridiculous. Or worse, to stammer, "Uh...well...ummm..." LOL

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:41:57 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		littlewonder:

I don't find the begging as difficult as answering the questions of "how badly" and "what would you do for it?" If I want something, I have no problem begging. But when I'm asked to quantify, I get stumped.



_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:43:23 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		BurntKitty:

LOL! Thanks! Now I'll probably burst out laughing! (And thanks for putting the Klondike ditty in my head...)

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to BurntKitty)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:44:06 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I can understand what you mean when you say "I'll do anything" doesn't sound (or feel) genuine.
Focus on the fact that your begging for it is giving him pleasure, and you really want to please him
as much as you can. Then think of how you would feel if you won't ever have the chance to get what
it is you really really want again. Ever ever ever! Don't worry about how it sounds, focus on how it feels.

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:45:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		when he asks me how much or how badly my answer is usually "more than anything" because at that moment I do want it more than anything. When he asks me what I would do for it I usually say "anything" and I mean it because that's how much I love and trust him. He usually laughs though and makes me be more specific which usually means I have to say something he loves but I absolutely hate because he wants me to give it of my own free will instead of making me do it. Now THAT is the hardest part for me lol.


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Everything has changed

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:46:45 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		Bama, don't beg...you're old enough to steal!

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:47:38 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

When he asks me what I would do for it I usually say "anything" and I mean it because that's how much I love and trust him. He usually laughs though and makes me be more specific which usually means I have to say something he loves but I absolutely hate because he wants me to give it of my own free will instead of making me do it. Now THAT is the hardest part for me lol.



Now that's what I was looking for! Ideas to help me formulate my answers. Thank you, littlewonder.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 6:48:42 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

Bama, don't beg...you're old enough to steal!


Heyyyy, are you calling me old??



_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Duskypearls)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 7:04:17 PM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		With Master, begging is really just saying 'please' over and over again until he decides if I get it or not.

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 7:05:32 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlecherie

With Master, begging is really just saying 'please' over and over again until he decides if I get it or not.


Oh, I'm good at saying, "Please." I can say it in multiple languages, even!

It's the rest of it that stumps me.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to littlecherie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 7:44:04 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		I used to have a girl that didn't like to beg. She had a strong personality and felt like begging was a fake way of getting what she wanted. It took some effort on both our parts, and after some trial and error we found a way that worked for us. One of the things she absolutely hated was being canned. It was a love hate relationship, the sex after a good canning was intense, especially when coupled with lots of tease and denial before hand. When she decided she was ready for mercy, she'd beg in ways she never thought possible. Hell she begged in ways I never thought she was capable. It gave me some fine wood with wich to molest her. It wasn't so much the intensity of the canning or the canning itself that made it so enjoyable for us both, it was the complete surrender to my whim, knowing she could allways safeword out, and still continuing to take it until I was convinced she'd had enough. Taking her to that point just before she would scream rainbow without actually saying it allways made for some amazing fuckery afterwards. My advice to you is to talk to your top and tell them to find ways to motivate you to that sincerity without injuring you or breaking the trust you have. Regardless of what kind of kinks the two of you are into, there are plenty of ways to motivate you to surrender that last measure of insecurity that keeps you from fully letting go and just saying whatever it is that will take the moment to the next level of vulnerability and passion; that will make the moment go from cheesy and corny to intense and lustfull. Good luck.

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 7:53:39 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

Regardless of what kind of kinks the two of you are into, there are plenty of ways to motivate you to surrender that last measure of insecurity that keeps you from fully letting go and just saying whatever it is that will take the moment to the next level of vulnerability and passion; that will make the moment go from cheesy and corny to intense and lustfull. Good luck.


Good to know, Endivius. Like your girl, I also have a strong personality, and I've discussed with my Dom that I feel as though I'm "topping from the bottom" when begging to get what I want. He has explained to me why that isn't so, and I get that part now.

I still feel like a deer in the headlights when I'm questioned about specifics, but perhaps I'm overthinking it. Maybe, like your girl, I just need the moment to take me where it will.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Endivius)
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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 8:01:38 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bamabbwsub


quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

Regardless of what kind of kinks the two of you are into, there are plenty of ways to motivate you to surrender that last measure of insecurity that keeps you from fully letting go and just saying whatever it is that will take the moment to the next level of vulnerability and passion; that will make the moment go from cheesy and corny to intense and lustfull. Good luck.


Good to know, Endivius. Like your girl, I also have a strong personality, and I've discussed with my Dom that I feel as though I'm "topping from the bottom" when begging to get what I want. He has explained to me why that isn't so, and I get that part now.

I still feel like a deer in the headlights when I'm questioned about specifics, but perhaps I'm overthinking it. Maybe, like your girl, I just need the moment to take me where it will.



She loved to "over think" things. I used to tell her she was, "Nuking it". A phrase i picked up in the military we used to make fun of people that had lots of smarts and no common sense. I digress...Anyway, you two should have an open ended conversation about your levels of comfort with whatever kinks you are into, so that he has more input to draw on as he guides you past this obstacle.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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RE: Begging for Answers - 4/3/2012 8:09:29 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for the reply, Endivius.

Although my Dom and I are a new couple, he has been really good about asking questions and adjusting his plans and methods. He describes me as being like an onion -- not stinky (ha!), but having many layers that he is peeling back, one layer at a time.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 20
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