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mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is welc... - 6/4/2006 1:50:40 PM   
mslave2bcollared


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		How often will a Mistress take in a beginer and show him/her the ropes, the ins and the outs of this lifestyle? i would like to find out if what i am seeking is something that might happen or not.
And if so then if You are a Mistress that is willing to teach me what i need to know, and help me expand my mind, and limits then please contact me.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/4/2006 2:18:40 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		I live on a small island, so I am pretty much train my boys, I dont mind, but at the same time it is so lovely and refreshing when I spend time with my main boy, who has experiance and is a pain slut....

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/4/2006 3:08:13 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mslave2bcollared

How often will a Mistress take in a beginer and show him/her the ropes...



I have selected people with little real time experience, but a person needs to have *some* experience. The applicant needn't have tried everything that interests me (my adorable new puppy is a puppy for the first time, for example), but definitely must have some impact play experience to understand what he's getting into.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/4/2006 3:12:44 PM   
PrincessinLatex


Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Typically, I don't think that most Dominas mind newbies. I don't mind *most* of the time. . .however, being "new" is no excuse for being lazy. What I mean by that is, I don't think anyone appreciates someone coming to them and declaring that they are new and want the domina to do all the work. If I think that the newbie in question has done some introspection as to what he wants to get out of the lifestyle, where his interests lie etc. . .it gives us a starting point to build on. I don't have the time to invest in someone who will eventually discover that we have divergent interests/philosophies etc.

Tha being said, another difficulty for me personally taking on brand spankin' newbies is that they would have to initially (and very quickly) come off of several thousand dollars (if they do not have a latex wardrobe). I make it clear up front that I expect any potential to be solvent and into the latex lifestyle. If they do indeed approach me, I'll assume that they know this. Most boys I take on do not have a problem with this.

P

_____________________________

If you are pervy and you know it, come visit me at ** Got Kink? **

(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
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RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/4/2006 7:13:52 PM   
mslave2bcollared


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		ok this gives me a idea but what are my chances of me finding a Mistress that will help me get to know my limits? i am sure that since alot of You Dommes have experince, and some or alot of You share things You might have some what of a idea

(in reply to PrincessinLatex)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 12:38:36 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mslave2bcollared

How often will a Mistress take in a beginer and show him/her the ropes, the ins and the outs of this lifestyle? i would like to find out if what i am seeking is something that might happen or not.
And if so then if You are a Mistress that is willing to teach me what i need to know, and help me expand my mind, and limits then please contact me.

Personally, I will not take on a complete novice.  My expectation is that I at least want the subject to have done research on BDSM, to have taken steps to educate himself....be it getting involved in a local group, attending a munch, going to classes or an event....something, to show me that he's committed to this for more than just something to get his jollies from.  I don't honestly feel that most of what I truly enjoy, the heavy SM, the edgey stuff, is really suitable for someone with no experience, and why should I have to sacrifice what I want for the benefit of someone who "wants to explore"???

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 5:22:57 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mslave2bcollared

How often will a Mistress take in a beginer and show him/her the ropes, the ins and the outs of this lifestyle? i would like to find out if what i am seeking is something that might happen or not.
And if so then if You are a Mistress that is willing to teach me what i need to know, and help me expand my mind, and limits then please contact me.


I love to do this but only for people who seem to have their heads on straight (meaning they've taken time on their own to learn some stuff, are in therapy if they need to be, and seem mature to me when we talk) AND who live close enough to me to committ to training sessions.

The second requirement is often the most difficult one because I never offer to train folks who don't have their heads on straight. If someone really wants to learn they have to make a serious committment to do so.

Of course I also only choose to train those whom I have some deeper connection with.

As to how you find such a person, rewrite your profile first and say you are looking to learn not to find "the one". Then real profiles and see if anyone is offering something similar. Look around your nearby area (you know what is nearby for you in terms of regular transportation to and from for training) and get to know folks within that radius.

Also be clear yourself about what you are looking for and if there is even a shadow of a doubt about what the other person is looking for or offering, ask.

For example when I train I tell the trainee that it is unlikely we will continue a relationship beyond training but about 1/8 of the time this does happen.


< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 6/5/2006 5:28:45 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 5:43:23 AM   
MistressTheaZ


Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with all Ladies who have said that it depends mostly on what commitment the sub has made towards learning, getting in touch with himself and his true motivations, and his intentions toward the lifestyle as well. A connection is a must, IMO, as there must be some familiarity that draws the Dominant to select you and spend the time to train you as She sees fit to Her own specifications.  
 
I have taken newbies and very much enjoyed being their first Mistress, their primary introduction to BDSM and to the local community. However...these few also expressed interest in My own favorite activities and specialties, (which helped stoke My intrigue to engage them in the first place), lived locally, and took the time to acquaint themselves with learning about BDSM and becoming involved in the community as I wished. Had any not shown the proper interest and dedication, I wouldn't have bothered.

Thetammyjo gave good advice on how to proceed in your search; agree completely.
 
~Thea

< Message edited by MistressTheaZ -- 6/5/2006 5:44:12 AM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 6:34:47 AM   
mslave2bcollared


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks to All of the Mistresses that has left comments it is giving me more insight. .i am doing what i can to get started with SADE.  i am not expecting to let the Mistress be the one to do all the work. i do want to know as much as i can before i give up my control to a Mistress.
Thanks again for the advice Ladies.

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 7:43:22 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		I used to be very open to teaching novices about the lifestyle, but I don't do it much anymore.
9 times out of 10 they end up finding out the lifestyle isn't what they really wanted in the first place. They were looking to get their kicks, and either didn't realize it or didn't admit it. Or they believed that what they saw on a few leather porn sites accurately portrayed the lifestyle. Once they get the hint that it's not all about their one particular kink, they start lacking enthusiasm to learn new things.


_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to mslave2bcollared)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 8:00:20 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I used to be very open to teaching novices about the lifestyle, but I don't do it much anymore. 9 times out of 10 they end up finding out the lifestyle isn't what they really wanted in the first place. They were looking to get their kicks, and either didn't realize it or didn't admit it. Or they believed that what they saw on a few leather porn sites accurately portrayed the lifestyle. Once they get the hint that it's not all about their one particular kink, they start lacking enthusiasm to learn new things.


Exactly the reason why I require that they've at least pursued other avenues before they petition me for actual training.  I'm ok with them going to a pro and seeing if this is right for them.  Casual play is ok too.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 8:48:22 AM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

~Tigress
Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.
-Wu Li



"Wax on, wax off.  Wax on, wax off."

- Mr. Miyagi
The Karate Kid 

_____________________________

Dating sucks!

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: mainly a quetion to All Mistresses but A/anyone is ... - 6/5/2006 9:37:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

I used to be very open to teaching novices about the lifestyle, but I don't do it much anymore.
9 times out of 10 they end up finding out the lifestyle isn't what they really wanted in the first place. They were looking to get their kicks, and either didn't realize it or didn't admit it. Or they believed that what they saw on a few leather porn sites accurately portrayed the lifestyle. Once they get the hint that it's not all about their one particular kink, they start lacking enthusiasm to learn new things.



I have no problem helping sincere folks figure out that BDSM isn't for them. They have to learn some how and since I have a formal training program, I can train without getting too emotionally attached.

I had a wonderful woman who I helped discover that she was really a service top at heart by the end of the program. She and I remained friends for a few years until she moved away and had kids.

I had another person who discovered that he was really only interested in painplay and not in Ds or service at all. He thanked me later for helping him learn that because it saved him so much time later on in his life.

But I'm just weird like this I guess.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 13
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