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sunshinemiss -> RE: How Seriously to take someone! (4/5/2012 3:26:50 PM)
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Hello Barbie,
I wanted to start with telling you that I appreciate that you didn't use words like real or true in your question. I think your question was asked in a very classy way - how SERIOUSly we see people.
I take them as seriously as they show themselves. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm not able to be on the CM side much, so I check email only about once a month. My responses are almost always as in depth as their notes to me. I've met a number of people from here, the chatrooms, and CM and have to say that I tend to match much better with people from the boards here rather than the other 2 areas, so I will honestly give people more wiggle room over here. Because of the consistent interaction (whether daily or annually) of people here, I tend to have a bit more faith in them. People here have been generally true to how they seem. People on the other two portions have been less so in my experience. In that vein, I've noticed here also that people tend to take me more seriously too - I've gotten emails from forum posters who have said, "hey, you seem a little off these days - what's up with that?" and I've appreciated it. They've been spot on every time.
When I was harassed on here, people stood up for me in a way that was really touching. I started taking people more seriously, believing them, opening my heart. However, when I blasted someone for their lying and attempts at manipulating the people here, I was blasted right back on the forums. That taught me something pretty important. It wasn't "ME" that people respected or whose opinions were appreciated. It was an expectation of how I would be online. Not one person said a word to me privately or asked if checked in with me. I learned something pretty valuable there about expectations - theirs and mine. I lost faith and trust in a lot of people - not because they were blind to what was happening but because they treated me in such a stranger-esque manner, rather than as a person who had "shown herself" over the years, that is ... as me.
So I have to say I take people much less seriously than I used to. I have learned that even on the forums people (including me) can forget that there are real people on the other side of the computer... There are a few folks who have consistently shown themselves in real life to be trustworthy and whom I trust completely. I met them here, and I am very lucky because of it.
And as a slight tangent - I've learned to not take myself quite so seriously by being here. I joke around much more online than I do in real life.
Best wishes, and thank you for a well-asked question,
sunshine
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