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Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 11:41:26 AM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		This is my 1st time being in the bdsm thing... My question is I have a guy the wants to make a deal that I can do anything I want to he's g/f hes ok with that. He will drop her off at the hotel and I can have my way.. both are consent to the idea, its his subs punishment. So I was wondering should I write up an NDA for the sub to have my way with her is the couples consent good enough for it??


Also If you have any other tips on being a good DOM (male) let me know plz
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 11:43:45 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		It sounds like the dude's gonna be waiting outside to beat the cash out of you afterwards.

Try having coffee with them first to get to know them, before you let the pair of them corner you in a hotel room.

Even if there is no physical threat, two against one is bad odds in 'my word against yours' in any sort of criminal investigation.

(in reply to Eccentric7)
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 11:52:11 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		This has bad idea written all over it -- and I'm being nice.

Do what ProlificNeeds says and actually meet people and then see how it goes...

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But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:00:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Yeah, I doubt that would end well.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:01:13 PM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		thanx for the quick response's, I was thinking the same ideas as well ... should meet up with them in an populated area at 1st ... tbh though this guy is 130 lbs ... and also I'm a Marine So Im not worried about getting the robbed part... But still always good idea to be aware... I will ask for a meet up 1st to get a feel for the group... then after that determine if I go forward.

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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:03:05 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eccentric7

thanx for the quick response's, I was thinking the same ideas as well ... should meet up with them in an populated area at 1st ... tbh though this guy is 130 lbs ... and also I'm a Marine So Im not worried about getting the robbed part... But still always good idea to be aware... I will ask for a meet up 1st to get a feel for the group... then after that determine if I go forward.


Personally, if I were you, I'd be more concerned about rape and assault charges than being robbed.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Eccentric7)
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:03:22 PM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I doubt there is a girlfriend/sub. I think you are being set up dude. Don't give this person your details and make sure you meet in a mutually neutral place along with 'said girlfriend'. If she does exist, which I doubt she does, has she really consented? If not both of you could find yourself behind bars in the not so distant future.

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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:06:44 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eccentric7

This is my 1st time being in the bdsm thing... My question is I have a guy the wants to make a deal that I can do anything I want to he's g/f hes ok with that. He will drop her off at the hotel and I can have my way.. both are consent to the idea, its his subs punishment. So I was wondering should I write up an NDA for the sub to have my way with her is the couples consent good enough for it??


Also If you have any other tips on being a good DOM (male) let me know plz

There have been several situations over the years where a guy used this site to set up his ex's rape, or to recruit to some other nonconsensual act. In an least one instance, it really happened. He posed as her, and talked a guy into fulfilling her forced sex fantasy. Except, she had no idea about the profile. The "dominant" went through with the "fantasy," and both men have since been convicted. The most famous example is the "Albert Hsu" case (where he was arrested before anyone did anything to her) because he was a multimillionaire. I think he got out of prison recently.

Maybe meet both the man and the woman at Starbuck's first.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Eccentric7)
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:07:25 PM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		understand completely thats where .. the meet 1st (safe area) as well as the NDA comes into play..

(in reply to MariaB)
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:09:06 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Personally, if I were you, I'd be more concerned about rape and assault charges than being robbed.

THAT

Good lord man. You are obviously a thrill seeker but what you're proposing needs a LOT of careful thought. And by the way, if you think a piece of paper can save you from prison, then you need to do A LOT more research.


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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:09:19 PM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		I promise for my own safety, I won't go threw with anything serious before meeting and discussing the details.

(in reply to Eccentric7)
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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:11:33 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eccentric7

understand completely thats where .. the meet 1st (safe area) as well as the NDA comes into play..


The NDA would be useless. BDSM is illegal in most states and most states also say that you cannot consent to assault. So, really, even with anything she signs showing consent, you'd still be screwed if she decided to go to the authorities.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Eccentric7)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:16:39 PM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		so I;m fucked regardless?

(in reply to Eccentric7)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:23:26 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Why not focus on finding a woman of your own that will let you use her in any
manner you wish. This cuts out the middle man completely.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:24:36 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		The only way to not be fucked is to get to know and trust someone before you fuck them.

Even if there's no pressing charges, you're a marine? Maybe they intend to photograph or film you doing the nasty and then smear you? Or blackmail you? It would go poorly for your career I'd imagine.

Think with the big head, not the little.

(in reply to Eccentric7)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:25:33 PM   
Eccentric7


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2012
Status: offline 		b/c I'm only in the states for a short time before I deploy... want to get wild before /i go dunno if I'm coming back I'm you know what I mean.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:28:11 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Meet them and get to know them first. Even if he's a small guy and you're a marine, a pistol can screw up your whole weekend.
As for his size, when I was a wrestling coach, I hosted some advanced training for a SWAT team. One of my helpers was an ex SEAL who went about 130 soaking wet. Watching him explain to some 6'5 250# policeman how he was now officially dead with a broken neck was priceless.

This is all about consent and getting to know people. If you do this right, you might have a LOT of fun with this couple over the next several months/years. Do it wrong and it's a freaking nightmare. think with the big head and not the little one. (I know, that's easy for me to say I'm an old guy)

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:31:02 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eccentric7

b/c I'm only in the states for a short time before I deploy... want to get wild before /i go dunno if I'm coming back I'm you know what I mean.

You're coming back.

Thank you for your service Marine.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Eccentric7)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 12:37:16 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Also, I might be wrong but I heard somewhere that being in the service and getting caught being involved in BDSM can get you court marshaled. So yea that has BAD written all over it!!

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question about 1st BDSM meetup? - 4/6/2012 2:21:28 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Eccentric7

so I;m fucked regardless?


Not necessarily. Meet them, get to know them. I think the deciding factor here would be whether in fact this is actual punishment. If it is real punishment, it's very likely something she wants or likes....which could end up being bad for you. If this isn't really punishment and she thinks its hot to meet random strangers and play kinky sex games....it's probably all good.

And thank you for your service.


< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 4/6/2012 2:37:47 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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