success in using Vanilla personals? (Full Version)

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DrSteveB -> success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 6:41:51 PM)

I was wondering what experience others have had with vanilla internet matching/personals and whether or not they have included or hinted at ALT/BD/SM/Ds predilictions.


I have been on vanilla personals also... Match and Nerve, etc. I have generally opted for being what I would call (overly) honest and including my play wrestling kink. Recently included some additional buzz words in profile and mentioned Different Loving and Sensuous Magic in books read. Not much response.

I am pretty new here, and wondering what experience or suggestion folks may have?

Any others with positive experience in vanilla personals and suggestions, tips, comments...?



cuddleheart50 -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 6:45:55 PM)

I have been on some vanilla site, have had several dates...but none of the "lifestyle" dating.  At least it gets me out of the house..lol



NCSilverWolves -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 6:51:14 PM)

though on another personal site... I can't seem to bring myself..(refraze) ....I couldn't bring myself to open up to anyone that contacted me on that site. Too affraid of my submission peeking out and them calling me a freak (happened once before)...LOL



Submotive -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 7:34:51 PM)

i met Master on a "vanilla" site. i expressed who i am, not in the typical 5'5" blah blah blah manner, but in a rather poetic way. At the end of my post i simply stated i'm a submissive woman seeking a Dom partner.

Although my present Master is not an experienced Dominant, He has everything i need and want and W/we continue to learn together about each O/other and about D/s.

PS This was after about 7 months of "dating" both vanilla men and "doms". Whether we seek a partner on a vanilla site or a BDSM site, for me the fact remains, it's not where we meet, but what W/we have in common and mutual attraction.



akisha -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 7:51:21 PM)

I've met two men on one site. One was a sub *shruggs* oh well and the other was a dominant. Go figure hehe



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 8:01:13 PM)

Quite honestly, I have had lots of luck on MySpace and other vanilla sites.  But I really imagine it depends on what you are looking for.  I am looking for play partners and those who are open to new experiences, not really looking for a 24/7 slave/soul mate.

I will say that the more "protocol" you want in your relationship, the better your chances of finding a match on an alt/bdsm/kink site.  Don't go on MySpace looking for that kajira or old guard slave, if you know what I mean .  That isn't to say it can't happen, but you are much more likely to meet a gal who wants a little spank with her flowers.

Taggard



champagnewishes -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 9:39:28 PM)

Four years ago i tried the vanilla sites before i discovered CM.  I had a fair amount of 1st dates, nothing that made me want to have a second date.

I did notice that with the slightest mention of being submissive, lifefestyle or Dominant men, i would get an increase in emails from married men looking for a one time kink and lunchtime nooners...

Within 6 months of being on CM, i found a Dom whom i had a very satisfying two year relationship with...Now that i am looking again...i wouldn't think of looking on a vanilla site.  



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 9:48:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: champagnewishes
I did notice that with the slightest mention of being submissive, lifefestyle or Dominant men, i would get an increase in emails from married men looking for a one time kink and lunchtime nooners...



This was my experience as well. The few that actually were worth meeting seemed eager to try the D/s thing, claiming it had always interested them, but after a little while they just got cold feet about the reality of it, and we broke up.

I like to joke that whenever I date newbie doms I break them. [8D]



juliaoceania -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/4/2006 9:53:07 PM)

When I stopped seeing my first dom I signed up for vanilla personals as I did not know if I wanted to continue down the road of WIIWD. I had two dates coffee dates before I closed those accounts and decided I couldnt go back to vanilla. So I guess the shorter answer is "No, I had no luck with vanilla sites"



Quivver -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 3:30:43 AM)

It was someone I met on match that was my Introduction to D/s...
although, after comming to CM and doing some reasearch what I realized
I had found someone who only wanted to play D/s sexually.  Anything more
then just Kinky sex was beyond him. 



Proprietrix -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 8:22:19 AM)


I’ve had a wide variety of experiences.
match, I kind of faded into the distance.
eharmony actually told me (after a good 2 hours on that damn checklist) that I wasn’t suitable for a match.
I met a few nice people through cupid, but most were drinkers.
Same with yahoo personals.
I hate both alt and bondage.
I make lots of cool (and sometimes lifestyle aware) friends on asexuality, but that’s a given because it’s a specialized site, so we all come there with something important in common.
I still haven’t had any luck with the mail order bride sites, but I refuse to give up. J



IronBear -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 9:11:58 AM)

Ere I met my Neets, and ere I became involved in the Gorean lifestyle, I used to place persoal adds. I always stipulated that I was seeking for a submissive broard minded lady. In some cases the advertising venue would accept terms such as kinky and bisexual as well.. I had mixed results then but sufficient first contacts to encourage me to keep trying. These days I am inclined to use them again with the addition of poly to the add. I also advertise in our favourite swinging  site designed for the larger person a well. I do believe i the proverb abou casting your bread on the waters. This is a little like lotteries, in as much if you dont try you are guaranteed no sucess. At least trying you have some chance. There have been many people here in CM who when asked, have replied that if your local scene is small or virtually non existant, try looking at vanilla dateing areas or bars. Web and for that matter other forms of advertising are all extensions of this. 



missturbation -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 9:16:57 AM)

I have a profile on faceparty and i did try being completely honest on it. I found it disastrous - all i got was horny men who think that my lifestyle is just about being restrained and whipped. Whilst this seems to make men go weak at the knees along with the thigh boots and pvc 'nilla' men really just don't get it!!



becca333 -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 9:21:11 AM)

You have to fish in the right pond to get what you're looking for.



eruditegirl1 -> RE: success in using Vanilla personals? (6/5/2006 12:58:05 PM)

I was actually introduced into BDSM through a match from a vanilla site....great man....but his career took him out of town alot...(head lighting designer for major music groups)....even though the time we had was well spent...me being the brat I can be at times....I wanted more time....so I broke it off...(damn hindsight...will bite you in the ass everytime....ass bite...ok...a new fetish to explore...lol)



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