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All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 5:54:03 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Ok, since Chasity, both Male and Female seem to be being discussed in all corners of this forum. I think we need to move it to the big room and toss it out for all to discuss. Oh course, being true to my character I have lots of opinions on the subject. So here they go.

1. I firmly believe that the use of chasity devices, and enforced celibacy should be used to ENHANCE ones relationship and sexuality, and not repress or stiffle it.

2. I don't believe a dominant should enforce long term chasity on a sub unless it is the expressed wishes of the sub, and even then they shoudl be consulted regularily regarding thier decision, and allowed opportunities for release.

4. Sexual release is critical to mental health and wellbeing in my opinion, and be it via milking, sex acts or manual stimulation it is something that needs to be allowed access to, be it earned, or requested.

5. I do not think long distance chasity for long periods of time is prudent or wise. If you take control of someone you have the responsibility for them, and that is impossible to maintain if your absent.

6. HYGIENE!!!!! Can't seem to say enough on the subject.. Both Males and females need opportunities to get out of chasity devices and clean themselves on a regular basis. Build up of Urine, and secretions SMELL and contain bacteria. I know they say they can be left on and washed through, but the truth of the matter.. THEY START TO SMELL.. and in my opinion should be taken off and washed daily. Insofar as belts go.. it is a must they be washed as the normal sweat and sloughing of skin makes them stinky in just a few days.

Ok.. all the above aside.. Playing with chasity can be fun, I always tell people to be careful what they wish for. I know many men who dream of being cuckholded and once they were .. were extrememly dissappointed.

Fun things to do with chasity.

1. Lock em up.. and tease the hell out of them.. if they are a male, offer them blowjobs, rub pussy in their face.. Push their buttons, whatever they may be.. Rub your feet over the chasity harnes.. make them beg to be let out.. but if they do a good job of begging.. Reward them and let them out, or let them have what they are begging for. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT THEY HAVE HOPE THAT THEY ARE ABLE TO PLEASE YOU.

2. Chasity can be great for short trips apart from each other. EMPHASIS on the word SHORT, and providing that they can get out of it if warrented. Say he or she is going out of town on business... for 2 days.. Lock em up.. ( airport security aside).. and then call em and talk dirty to them, so they are accutely aware of how soon they need to get home to you. :)

3. If your wishing to used conditioned behavioral response and teach someone to come on command it is a great tool.

4. Ok.. humiliation is a factor. I prefer that it not result in degregation but I do know people get off to that too. If your in an open relationship.. Locking someone up and then having them watch you with another can be fun. Or locking them up and publically displaying them.

5. Last but not least.. Discipline. I often use short terms bouts of chasity to stop masturbatory habits that I do not authorize. While I don't see masterbation as a bad thing, Some subs have problems with the whole concept of moderation. While this is a great tool.. It shouldn't be done as a long term thing..


Ok.. There you have it.. my Chasity manifesto.. Comments anyone?

Ms. Eden



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"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 6:08:57 AM   
duktigflicka


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
2. I don't believe a dominant should enforce long term chasity on a sub unless it is the expressed wishes of the sub, and even then they shoudl be consulted regularily regarding thier decision, and allowed opportunities for release.
This is always a problem with bdsm. I don't want to be consulted, because that would turn me off and defeats the whole purpose. The turn on is that it is forced by another. I'm not a fan of chastity belts, but being ordered not to touch myself for several days - especially if I'm getting teased lots - turns me on no end. It also makes for a mind-blowing orgasm when I finally get permission. If I was getting consulted to find if that were okay the whole time, then I'm pretty sure that would kill the turn on for both parties.

Wouldn't it work to just be able to use a safe word to get out of the chastity if it's causing the sub any distress?

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 6:23:42 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Wouldn't it work to just be able to use a safe word to get out of the chastity if it's causing the sub any distress?


Most certainly!.. I'm not saying the sub should make the decision, I just don't advocate the "No way out" philosophy.

< Message edited by MaitresseEden -- 10/28/2004 6:24:16 AM >

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 6:38:59 AM   
tymegagme


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline 		MaitresseEden, that was a great synopsis! I agree with you 100%.

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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 8:22:04 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I have to throw in my 2c.

I like the idea of chastity, and I don't like the idea of chastity devices. My partner and I employ chastity as a tool and as a...pleasure? Meh. At any rate, it is -all- left up to self control which I find much, much more difficult, but very rewarding.

I find it more appealing to be -able- to do something, but not allowed to do it, than to not be able to do it at all. Granted, this is in part because I don't have a belt fetish.

Sure, I've slipped up sometimes, but you confess, take your lumps, feel bad, move on and do better. I guess I see chastity devices as almost cheating (IMHO). It's not as hard (again IMHO) to do something you -can't- do.

I must agree, too, that redargless of the device, I honestly can't see how one could mainain proper cleanlyness. I pretty much -have- to touch my bits to keep 'em non-yucky. Sounds dirty in more way than one, but it's honestly not even close to a sexual thing. Just a non-icky thing.

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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 9:18:03 AM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		i agree you HAVE to keep those things clean. Uck. I not allowed to masterbate. Accuaaly I'm not allowed to cum without sayso. I don't. It's hard, more so because I work at home and sometimes get really frestrated. I don't think this is some kind of super talent on my part or anything. I'd just really rather no do it than be locked up in something. What if we couldn't get it open. But I know that there are people out there really into that. So I have to agree, please clean it. Alot of things in BDSM are nice to think of, but not really possible. Or at least not and not be really bad for someone in a non fun way.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 9:44:22 AM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Thank You, Maitresse Eden for starting this thread. Hopefully You will not mind if i add a question of my own to Your thread.

After having seen quite a few posts/threads related to these practices i do have some curiousity about them. Mainly, what is the attraction for both Dom/me and sub alike? Possible scenarios i can think of - for the Dom/me, having power of another's sexuality, ensuring obedience to restrictions; for the sub, giving over control of one's sexuality, inability to refrain from masterbation. i'm sure this isn't the extent of the appeal - the human mind is much too creative for this to be an exhaustive list.

Soo, anywho, i've not had any experience with this at all - i've never had a problem with refraining from masterbation though i have to say that most of my play has involved my sexuality to such an extent that i've not felt unsatisfied enough to need masterbation when it was not permitted. Any and all comments in regards to this would be much appreciated.

Well wishes

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 10:26:18 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

This is always a problem with bdsm. I don't want to be consulted, because that would turn me off and defeats the whole purpose.


Ah flicka - How refreshing to see such insight! Just remember, this is NOT a universal problem. It may be a problem with those you've met to date, but if potential Doms and submissives could learn and live by only one concept it would be contained in your words.

I know this thread is regarding another subject, but your post illustrates a very critical dynamic about the lifestyle.

Being coerced to do something you really like or want to do in the first place is NOT submission and is definitely NOT slavery.

(in reply to duktigflicka)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 11:06:49 AM   
duktigflicka


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		Merc, it is not that I'm being coerced into something that I wanted to do anyway. It's more that the act of coercion itself turns me on. That is what makes me a sub in the first place, in my opinion, which is no less of an opinion than yours.

Moreover, I've just finished up with a similar argument in another community, so it seems this is a pervasive view. Bdsm is not to me what it is to some others. I love to serve, but only within my terms and in ways that are also satisfying to myself. I will do things I don't like because I am told - but only because the act of being coerced into doing things I don't like turns me on. If you don't like this, there is a very simple solution. Don't be my dom. But I am going to continue to practice bdsm in a way that I choose to and is satisfying to myself.

I wish you luck and satisfaction in your pursuits of what bdsm is to you.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 11:13:37 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		flicka,
No problems!

Knowing what you want and going after it is a wonderful thing. Your views do not conflict with mine in the least. They are my views too in their most basic element, having a goal and desire and pursuing it until achieved. The process of understanding your desires and defining them clearly is the first step I recommend to anyone on either side of the lifestyle.

Good luck in achieving your goal and enjoy the journey.


(in reply to duktigflicka)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 3:40:35 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think the idea of chastity belts are more geared towards men. Women can orgasm without touch. While there are female chastity belts. I have to say I really have never met anyone who actually owned one. Sort of defeats the purpose, would'nt you say?

(in reply to srahfox)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/28/2004 8:54:03 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline 		Just my personal way of doing things, but I have never just put a girl in a chastity belt for the sake of chastity alone - I have always put her in a belt while she is 'stuffed' - a dildo/vibe in the vagina and/or a plug in the ass - and used that to keep her 'on the edge', so to speak - keeping her aroused, not only from the feelings of fullness inside her holes but also the knowledge that;
1. she cannot escape the ongoing feelings of fullness
2. the knowledge that she has given over control of this aspect of her sexuality to me
3. the fact that (usually) we are doing something relatively 'vanilla' while she is in this predicament ( i.e. having dinner at a restaurant, sitting in a movie theater, etc) - kind of 'playing in public' as it were

and can she help but wonder if people can somehow sense that she is aroused? maybe by her being flushed, or the way she walks, or maybe even (God forbid) smell her arousal?


Just my tuppence.

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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/29/2004 5:23:10 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

but I have never just put a girl in a chastity belt for the sake of chastity alone - I have always put her in a belt while she is 'stuffed' - a dildo/vibe in the vagina and/or a plug in the ass - and used that to keep her 'on the edge', so to speak - keeping her aroused, not only from the feelings of fullness inside her holes but also the knowledge that;
1. she cannot escape the ongoing feelings of fullness
2. the knowledge that she has given over control of this aspect of her sexuality to me
3. the fact that (usually) we are doing something relatively 'vanilla' while she is in this predicament ( i.e. having dinner at a restaurant, sitting in a movie theater, etc) - kind of 'playing in public' as it were



Oh yea!... I like the way you think. It's all about the control. One of my very first exposures to Kink came from listening to a woman scream and moan in orgasm after orgasm as she had a vibrator locked inside of her. I was 19 at the time, and didn't even know what an orgasm was, but after seeing that, I knew I hadn't had one...

Ms. Eden



_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to Thanatosian)
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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/29/2004 6:14:22 AM   
UtahGoddess


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline
I don't employ long term chastity in my relationship. I am far too greedy. <laffs>

That said....I do like to lock my boy up for a few days at a time and tease the ever living crap out of him! LOL For me it is not so much about controlling his masturbation as it is about owning his erection. During chaste times I am ever present in his mind as I have removed a basic body function. Ahhhhhh...how I relish the moans every two hours or so in his sleep as his (my) cock attempts erection. <G>

In addition to what Ms Eden said a few other things I may do during chaste times are:

1) Hold a vibrator against his cage
2) Tie him to the bed, straddle him naked and whisper in his ear all the things he is unworthy of doing to me.
3) Secure a strap-on on him and make him fuck me.

I have great fun with chastity in limited terms. I enjoy my slave's sexuality in all it's forms. I use it to enhance our sexuality, not squelch it.

Ms Sandi


_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

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RE: All Thought on Chasity - 10/29/2004 9:06:43 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UtahGoddess

I have great fun with chastity in limited terms. I enjoy my slave's sexuality in all it's forms. I use it to enhance our sexuality, not squelch it.

Ms Sandi



AMEN~ Preach it sister!


_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to UtahGoddess)
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