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My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 7:11:42 AM   
slutjon


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am attending a lifestyle convention soon and since my Mistress relocation i have been very frustrated and sadened in my search to be recollared and serve.When i attend should i be very active or sit back and relax and see what happens naturally?jon
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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 7:31:30 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline
Hallo Jon,

Welcome to the boards. I think the answers you are going to get are going to be varied because we all expect different things from a potential BDSM partner. What makes the MOST sense is to represent yourself as you truly are. It would be hard to maintain a facade that you initially might have presented in the long term if it wasn't the real you.

For me personally (and as I stated earlier, it will be different because of the different tastes and requirements of each individual domina) I'd be more prone to notice someone who seems service oriented (making himself helpful in any situation that may come up) attentive. . .and witty. Of course depending on what type of function. . .it may not be easy to exhibit these things. What can you really do at a large convention where you don't know anyone?

I think that you are WAY ahead of the game by actually going out and trying to meet people. Kudos on that. I wish you luck. . .and go break leg!!!

Jules

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
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(in reply to slutjon)
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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 8:56:46 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
First off.. what event are you going to? My advice is to make yourself useful. Not the the event itself, but to woman you may see, offer to carry bags, hold open doors.. fetch drinks.. Regardless of who they are.. offer the worse that can happen if you do is they say No. Whatever you do.. Don't be a wallflower.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to GoddessJules)
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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 9:07:32 AM   
slutjon


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I will be attending the Black ROse convention and this advice is so wise thank you Ms Eden.....jon

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 9:36:17 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
BR 2001 Was mysecond big public event, while I hade been in the scene for a much longer time, it was my first pansexual national level event. previously I had attended "Thunder in the mountains which while being pansexual in those days was more gay oriented. In scouring my hard drive I found the journal entry fo that and I thought I would share it. I am no longer with "alexi" however we are still good friends. Please enjoy!


My Black Rose Experience

Well, here we are sitting on the plane returning from a long weekend at Black Rose 2001. It was nice to be among family for 3 days and to be able to exist fully in the D/s realm without any distractions. Thanks to the extensive website and community system set up on the BR (Black Rose) website, alexi and I were able to post our profiles and play interests and browse and connect with others before going. This was a wonderful asset, as it enabled us to preconnect with people and do some preliminary sceneing to see if there were mutual interests. Before we even arrived, we had 12-15 contacts with people we saw as potential new friends. One of which was kind enough to pick us up at the airport when we arrived so that we would not have to worry about navigating traffic, nor bear the expense of a rental car. This was a wonderful thing!

Day 1

We promptly checked in to the Best Western. (The secondary host hotel of the event) The organizers of the event had everything extremely well organized and planned out. All of the hotels were within a few blocks of each other, and all the activities were set up at the 2 host hotels. The Ramada (the primary host hotel) was closed to the public entirely. The BR organizers had arranged for luxury tour buses to run between all of the hotels every 30 minutes to shuttle people to and from their hotels for play dates and events. This was wonderful and cost effective. For most of us there was never a need to have a car. After checking into our hotel we took the shuttle over to the host hotel.

Immediately upon entering the lobby we found the registration tables set up. At registration everything was set up by your registration number, which had been mailed to you so everything ran quickly and smoothly with no need to stand in long lines based on alphabets. Badges were all preprinted, and upon signing a waiver, we were handed our information packets and our armbands were put in place. We were then free to roam.

The lobby of the Ramada was the central social area. The hotel bar and restaurant were on extended hours to serve us. The vendors were set up in one of the ballrooms. There were at least 70 vendors present and a large variety of goodies were there for all to buy. I for one openly drooled over the new electrical toys that are on the market. One of the nice things about the layout of the event was the security presence. All security and staff were clearly identified with “Staff” t-shirts, reflective vests and headsets. As you passed from one area to another they checked to make sure you had your armband and badge. The dungeon was in an ancillary building adjacent to the hotel with a protective walkway for us to walk through. This was nice as it enabled people to walk around in their various states of undress while in the hotel. There was a good bit of nudity and near nudity in all the secured areas, including the vendor fair. Very nice on the eyes. :) The Ramada dungeon itself had at least 300 play stations, a medical room with 15 stations, a waxing room with about the same, a social room with 40-50 tables and self serve drinks, and a continuous food buffet. In addition to that, there was every apparatus known to man, including some that I had not ever seen, to play on. Numerous hoists, and scaffolds for suspensions, a large coat rack and shelf section for people to stash their gear in-between scenes. In addition, each play area was separated by rows of couches, & chairs so that people could sit and relax while viewing a scene or performing aftercare. There was a large stable for ponies and puppies, and even a set of bleachers for the larger viewing area. This was heaven from my feet's perspective. I cherished the fact that I never had to worry to find a seat. This was the main dungeon. Our hotel had a dungeon as well which, while smaller, was also quieter and more intimate. Even though the hotel was closed to the public, they made a concerted effort to insure our safety. Cops were everywhere. (I’ll say more about them in a bit).

After checking out the "lay of the land" and saying hi to some friends whom we were meeting, we hopped the shuttle to get back to our room and dress for the meet and greet. The meet and greet was held at 7pm Friday night... and was a snack time, which was the promptly followed by a slave auction. All registrants were given party money to bid on the Dom or sub of their choice. Applications for this were available online for months. If you did not wish to participate in that, there was a woman's dinner, and a men's dinner, and various clubs holding public meetings at the time for anyone interested in them. We opted to head straight, I mean directly (we never do anything straight) to the dungeon. The dungeon was wall-to-wall people playing, so we opted to go sit in the lobby and just visit with some of the people we had been corresponding with and some long time friends.

We mingled a bit, and exchanged room numbers with some people and watched the erotic art display on the TV monitors in the lobby, while I enjoyed some serious foot worship. We watched some interesting scenes. We went back to our hotel around midnight and check out what was going on there. The dungeon at our hotel was quieter and more conducive to intimate play. They were just wrapping up an event called the "exploratorium" which was geared toward "newbies”. Every station had "experts" in various things and a person interested in experiencing something new could do so for about 3-5 mins then move on to something else. It was neat to see the reactions and hear the comments from people who had just experienced their first "something"... as that ended, public play began and I hooked alexi up an began to play him, (mild scene so I won't go into detail only to say that people were fascinated with his reaction to electricity). We retired around 2am in an attempt to get some sleep before classes began in the am.

Day 2

We began the day by having breakfast at the host hotel with our friend Janet Hardy (aka lady green, catherine Liszt) and a few others. We then went to a class on Gorean slave training. Neither one of us are big on Gor, but we liked the idea of the ritual inherent in position training. This was a hands on class in which all the subs were brought up to the front of the class to be instructed and then corrected in proper positioning and then drilled as to holding and maintain them. alexi really enjoyed the ritual of it, and I came out of it with some new ideas and positions to use in sceneing. I want to interject a few comments about the programming. There was sooooo much to choose from. Each class ran from 1-2 hours, and there were 8-10 choices each block. There were classes for Gorean's, classes for vampires, classed for spiritualist, hands on classes, lectures, demos, classes for advanced players, etc. So much to choose from, often we hopped in between two or three. That was an advantage not enjoyed at other events and it was the result of a closed venue and excellent security. Even if a class involved nudity or edgy play the class was not closed and participants could leave or enter at mid class if they changed their minds about which class they wanted to be in. They also had all the classes in one major area (With one or two exceptions). The hotel ballroom was partitioned off and classes had chalk board, play equipment, chairs, water, sound systems, etc. The sound system was particularly helpful when a class was extremely crowded. In addition they scheduled 30 mins to get from one class to another so that you could transfer without being rushed. Next we headed to "Worken dick" presented by our friend Frank Strona from Mr. S. Fetters. alexi and I had bonded with him at Thunder this past summer and I had volunteered alexi's cock for usage during this demo. Frank didn't want the audience to know that he had a relationship with us so he planned the session to appear as if he just yanked some poor sub out of the audience and was going to rape him. It scared quite a few of the other male subs, but all the Female Dominants loved it and were very impressed. alexi was a perfect submissive as Frank demonstrated the new locking humbler on him and dragged him around by it. He did sounds on alexi, and then did this horribly sadistic rope pull thing on his cock and balls which brought him to his knees. Despite the pain, alexi was a dream. I was so proud of him. All the people in the audience said what a "good boy” he was.... and Frank was delighted, and spent a good bit of time with me giving alexi some well-deserved aftercare.

The perfect follow up to that was our next class, "Chakra Orgasm,” taught by "angelover" (www.spiritualBDSM.com). This was a hands on class in which any who wanted to could follow along and try to experience one. Several people, including alexi and I, did participate. I worked as a sender and alexi a receiver... We were very close, but the lady next to us climaxed so loudly that we all wanted to give her a round of applause, hence pulling us out of that energy level. However, we really connected with angelover, and learned some neat chakra techniques, which I plan on using while sceneing and in aftercare from now on. I had bumped into a Male Dom and his Female Dom partner (D and C) numerous times over the past few days and really felt a strong connection with them, (it turns out they too were are Thunder this summer)... Anyway, the four of us went to dinner and made plans to play sometime over the weekend. After dinner we headed to the main dungeon for a scene with "S" and "b" We had met them at Thunder in Denver where they had invited us to visit them in San Francisco sometime, so we had a history with them. Since they were both bisexual and into heavy edge play we opted for a medical scene. "S" & I strapped alexi to a gurney and "B" to an OB table. While alexi was strapped down, our mutual friend Frank came over and molested him. ( well.. teased him heavily.. can we say mind fuck) Because alexi was blindfolded he could not discern who was messing with him in what way and between the 3 doms and 2 subs it was difficult to tell who was doing what from the subs point of view. We did alot of needle play and bloodletting, and catheterization. Then we followed up by moving alexi to the OB table so I could fist him, while "b" sucked on his nipples and "S" fucked with his mind.. We drew a large audience with that, one of the cops watching the scene freaked when I pierced his cock with a needle and then was fascinated when I milked him with my fist. He grilled me with questions later. I think he was a bit envious. We played until the wee morning hours, before collapsing in complete exhaustion in our room

Day 3

Ugh, morning came too soon and too hard. This Mistress is not, and will never be a “morning after” person. We had a lovely breakfast, and lots of caffeine with Mistress Raven and her slave jerry. (One of the people we made contact with online) then stumbled to the classes. After browsing several, alexi headed off to be Janet Hardy’s bottom for her presentation on “Intuition and reading your bottom”. I opted to go take a nap. Afterward we met up again and attended a class on “Playing the emotional edge, and how to recover.” This was an interesting class which we attended with our new friends "S" and "b", and another lovely couple, Annette and her pet. "S" had "b" in a full body restraint harness throughout the day. "S" had enhanced the affect of the harness with a 2-pole electric butt plug powered by a remote control Erotek TENS unit. "S" was very generous with "b" and I had great fun “pushing her buttons” with that remote. I really must let Santa know I want those two items. After dinner and freshening up we attended the farewell event. A game show like event called the “perverted pyramid” in which people signed up to compete for prizes donated by the vendors. Then we did some last minute shopping before the vendors packed up, and loitered in the hotel lobby and bar saying farewell to those friends who were heading out.

That evening the dungeon was open for an Afterglow party, and I would say it was the best party yet. Extremely serious, and fun. While some were dress in their fetish attire, most were there for some serious play. Our new friends "D" and "C" and I strung up alexi and played him for hours. By the time we were done with him the dear boy was flying and completely non-verbal. After taking him down, I moved to practice the chakra techniques we had learned the previous day on alexi. It took a long time for him to come down from flying. Afterwards we strung up a lovely lady who had joined in our scene midway through and continued playing her. The hotel staff saw how much fun we all were having and were gracious enough to extend the playtime 2 additional hours so we could continue.

Afterwards I talked to one of the numerous cops in attendance. Turns out they have a waiting list of volunteers to provide security at this event. The cops were walking around, sitting on the bleachers. I asked one of the officers if watching a rather violent take down scene bothered him, or if any of what we do he found unsettling. He was kewl and understanding of it all. We finally took the shuttle back to our hotel collapsed in our room sometime around 3a.m. and slept until we woke up.

Day 4

We packed our bags, ate lunch and walked back over to the host hotel. (No shuttle today). There were still a great number of people hanging around in the lobby (no one wanted to go home) and we were able to hook up with Angelover and hitch a ride with her to the airport. We spent a great deal of time talking while waiting for our flight, and made promises to play with her at a future date. We arrived home late Monday evening, and began replying to the 200+ emails we had waiting for us.. Many of which from our new friends, wanting to make sure we made it home ok. It was a wild weekend. I love going to this big events, the synergy and community energy is so enlightening and the play is so cathartic, and diverse.



_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to slutjon)
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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 9:45:38 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Black Rose is a pretty intense event... with a large contingent of what we call leather down here in Texas. It has been my experience that events are not always the best place to meet people.. but I see here they are having a top/bottom auction you might sign up for that.. and that is indeed a way to meet people... have fun with it.

With regard to protocol.. be careful like in a china shop..my best advice is dont touch .. Some people are highly aware of their personal space which includes their submissives.

Ask for permission to speak ie.. Ma'am my name is jon this is my very first event.. might I have a word with you.. or Sir.. I see your girl/boy has an interesting tattoo would it be ok if I spoke with him/her about it. If you err on the side of cautious and be sincere and honest people will in the majority of cases find it charming and inviting.

If you attend the dungeon party..offer to help ... get someone a drink if they seem on their own.. but if they have a sub with them.. find alternate ways of introducing yourself.. your just going to piss their sub off.. ( they tend to be a bit terrioritial..not unlike my minischnauser ..fierce and protective for such a lil guy..until you rub his tummy)

The workshops generally have room assistants but if you see the speaker needing assistance dont hesitate to offer..

But the best way to use the event is to educate yourself.. ask question.. be curious.. learn take advantage of years of experience that are in that room... use it as an opportunity to upgrade your skill set so when the right person comes along.. yourthe best that you can be..

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 3:52:15 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I'm not a Dominant however I'd suggest you jusdt be whoever you may be. Be respectful and courteous. Hopefully you are both.
BR events are a blast. I'm sure you will have fun. The party is probably the best you will ever attend.


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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 6:40:51 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Others have spoken to the event part of your post. I'm going to speak to the collaring part. Do not be in a rush to hook up with someone. That can often times be off putting. You will see some subs hit pollination frenzy, going from Dominant to Dominant trying to find anyone to take them. I suggest being friendly and helpful and making FRIENDS. You're not going there looking to be collared. (At least you shouldn't be since collaring is a serious thing.) You're going there to network, get to know people and have fun. I wish you the best of luck!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 11:05:01 PM   
slutjon


Posts: 9
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Thank you Beach Mystress..your advice shows why I respect and obey my being submissive.The wisdom of a Domme is so comforting and induced into this sub...t/y..slutjon

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RE: My FIRST bdsm event - 10/28/2004 11:54:00 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
I kind of gave away an important secret of finding a Domme.. or at least to getting my attention. I am used to subs wanting me for the one facet of my being; the dominance. When a sub actually bothers to find out more about me- becomes my friend- he ups his chance of catching my attention the next time I'm in the market for a sub.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to slutjon)
Profile   Post #: 10
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