Starting out, need some advise on clarity

Starting out, need some advise on clarity (Full Version)

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MBrooke13 -> Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/16/2012 8:45:30 PM)
I am not new to the lifestyle but I am inexperienced in my role as a Domme. I worked on this today and would like thoughts from more experienced Dominants. Is this concise and clear? It's not meant as a be-all-end-all but more of an outline to give a submissive the idea of what sort of things I'm looking for and some insight into what my Dominant style will be.

MBrooke13 -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/16/2012 8:47:11 PM)
And ... for some reason it did not post correctly ... so here ... I expect: To be spoken to respectfully and sincerely. To be obeyed. (in a relationship)To make final decisions in our life while taking into account my submissive’s needs, desires and best interests. My submissive to be receptive to whatever training I desire them to undergo. My submissive to communicate clearly and maintain an attitude of transparency and honesty. My goals are: To provide my submissive with a place of safety and security where their needs would be met and their concerns would be heard. To teach my submissive how best to meet my needs, serve me competently and be pleasing in their behavior at all times. To organize my time and my submissive’s time to be spent responsibly in pursuit of our individual and mutual goals. To model the behavior I expect from my submissive in self-control, discipline and patience. To listen to my submissive and refrain from reacting in anger or pain to my submissive’s words or actions. To help my submissive grow as a person in ways that fulfill them individually and in ways that fulfill me as a Dominant. I will achieve these things by: Maintaining an open mind and constantly learning more about myself and my submissive. Seeking mentorship, knowledge, and support from more experienced Dominants. Remaining humble, accepting that I will make mistakes and taking responsibility for them. Never losing confidence in my own control. Providing my submissive with the security that even in moments when I am struggling I have their best interests at heart and I will handle them with authority and affection. Holding myself in deed and word to the standards I set for my own satisfaction and also to the standards my submissive needs and deserves to have a true, deep respect for me.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/16/2012 9:08:38 PM)
I think it's a great set of objectives. About this: quote: ORIGINAL: MBrooke13 Seeking mentorship, knowledge, and support from more experienced Dominants. Why limit yourself to dominants? I've learned things from dominants, sure, but I've learned far more from submissives and vanilla people. If it were me, I'd end the sentence, "...from those more experienced." Nice avatar, by the way.

DarkSteven -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/17/2012 5:22:48 AM)
It sounds good to me. Just make sure that you have flexibility built in, as things change down the road.

tsatske -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/17/2012 9:29:37 AM)
There is a lot of 'I will always' and other 'always' and 'completely' type of comments. Keep in mind you can only do your best.

SailingBum -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/17/2012 1:03:06 PM)
blah blah blah.. Actually those sound like they way most ppl view life. Attempt to better themselves by constant learning. And with learning brings understanding. I guess some ppl need to write it out and others know it instinctively. BadOne

lthrpup -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/18/2012 11:32:56 PM)
Your outline comes across as a very well-designed set of principles for mutual respect and responsibility. It would be a good foundation from which to explore compatibility and mutual interests. Good luck, but it appears your thoughtful approach is the sort of luck you make for yourself.

littlecherie -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/19/2012 6:02:51 AM)
Good luck - seems okay with me if it's okay with you. I'm experienced, Master was new, so I kind of started him out. He didn't get 'training' from other D-types lol He's doing great so far.

JeffBC -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/19/2012 11:08:14 AM)
Well, here's what I got out of it. IF this is mostly correct then you have painted the broad brush strokes accurately, at least for me. Here's what I interpreted: You want a mature, mutually caring TPE relationship. You want to do that in a team oriented structure moreso than a "master/slave" type gig. Is that more or less right?

Alecta -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/19/2012 4:04:30 PM)
These are good rules for yourself. Others have mentioned fitting in how much can you realistically hold yourself to and building flexibility into it. But it doesn't give any clarity towards what you want in a sub and what you expect out of them?

TNDommeK -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/19/2012 8:15:12 PM)
My best advice is to always keep your mind open to learning new things, from all sides. Other than that, enjoy yourself!

katty37 -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/20/2012 11:58:42 AM)
hello how are you doing today hope you okay

NeterHaru -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/20/2012 8:19:26 PM)
MBrooke13, be yourself and enjoy yourself. Those are great points of reference, let it flow naturally and don't be afraid of making mistakes. Always strive to do your best and have no regrets!!!

Kana -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/23/2012 9:42:28 AM)
I have 3 rules (I'm a simple boy, complex things make my head hurt) Serve, please, obey. That's it. Why need more?

sassy252 -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (4/26/2012 7:34:24 PM)
I have been with my Sir now going on four weeks. I do have a sister as well and her and i get along great. She is thirty and i being much older fourty seven . The first week are two was great and it still is but she has become a little jealous when Sir is with me. We play together the three of us and Sir does play with us alone one on one as well. I was out with Sir yesterday meeting with my mentor her friend as well as another Dom. Not having seen Sir in over a week i was very excited and had gotten myself ready for play later,only to be let down and told he had to leave at a certin time for a meeting. Well i found out today that he went to her lastnight for hours. Dont get me wrong that is not the point. I dont feel jealous i feel betrayed lied to. Not only did he lie to me but the the Dom,Domme and Domme in traning. He also sent me a message this morning about 1:30 saying he just woke up to get a drink. The real truth was he had just left sisters house. How do i deal with this...I feel like he should of been open and up front.......why lie about where hes going after all he is the Dom. This has put some space between me and sister. we us to tell each other everything but now she has become very guarded. Help im not sure where to go are what to do.

fldrkhorse -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (6/5/2012 5:04:06 AM)
I like this. may I copy and use for my online training?

LanceHughes -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (6/5/2012 5:24:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sassy252 I have been with my Sir now going on four weeks. I do have a sister as well and her and i get along great. She is thirty and i being much older fourty seven . The first week are two was great and it still is but she has become a little jealous when Sir is with me. We play together the three of us and Sir does play with us alone one on one as well. I was out with Sir yesterday meeting with my mentor her friend as well as another Dom. Not having seen Sir in over a week i was very excited and had gotten myself ready for play later,only to be let down and told he had to leave at a certin time for a meeting. Well i found out today that he went to her lastnight for hours. Dont get me wrong that is not the point. I dont feel jealous i feel betrayed lied to. Not only did he lie to me but the the Dom,Domme and Domme in traning. He also sent me a message this morning about 1:30 saying he just woke up to get a drink. The real truth was he had just left sisters house. How do i deal with this...I feel like he should of been open and up front.......why lie about where hes going after all he is the Dom. This has put some space between me and sister. we us to tell each other everything but now she has become very guarded. Help im not sure where to go are what to do. Help. I'm not sure where to go or what to do. Easy, peasy... COMMUNICATION.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (6/5/2012 6:36:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sassy252 I have been with my Sir now going on four weeks. I do have a sister as well and her and i get along great. She is thirty and i being much older fourty seven . The first week are two was great and it still is but she has become a little jealous when Sir is with me. We play together the three of us and Sir does play with us alone one on one as well. I was out with Sir yesterday meeting with my mentor her friend as well as another Dom. Not having seen Sir in over a week i was very excited and had gotten myself ready for play later,only to be let down and told he had to leave at a certin time for a meeting. Well i found out today that he went to her lastnight for hours. Dont get me wrong that is not the point. I dont feel jealous i feel betrayed lied to. Not only did he lie to me but the the Dom,Domme and Domme in traning. He also sent me a message this morning about 1:30 saying he just woke up to get a drink. The real truth was he had just left sisters house. How do i deal with this...I feel like he should of been open and up front.......why lie about where hes going after all he is the Dom. This has put some space between me and sister. we us to tell each other everything but now she has become very guarded. Help im not sure where to go are what to do. For me, lying is a dealbreaker. If he is lying, I would say he aint much more than a jackass who wants all the pussy he can get. To the OP, I really think communication and common sense go a lot farther than a list, but that's just me.

kalikshama -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (6/5/2012 12:38:20 PM)
quote: I have been with my Sir now going on four weeks. I do have a sister as well and her and i get along great. She is thirty and i being much older fourty seven . The first week are two was great and it still is but she has become a little jealous when Sir is with me. We play together the three of us and Sir does play with us alone one on one as well. I was out with Sir yesterday meeting with my mentor her friend as well as another Dom. Not having seen Sir in over a week i was very excited and had gotten myself ready for play later,only to be let down and told he had to leave at a certin time for a meeting. Well i found out today that he went to her lastnight for hours. Dont get me wrong that is not the point. I dont feel jealous i feel betrayed lied to. Not only did he lie to me but the the Dom,Domme and Domme in traning. He also sent me a message this morning about 1:30 saying he just woke up to get a drink. The real truth was he had just left sisters house. How do i deal with this...I feel like he should of been open and up front.......why lie about where hes going after all he is the Dom. This has put some space between me and sister. we us to tell each other everything but now she has become very guarded. Help im not sure where to go are what to do. You really should start a new thread for this but in case you don't - I'd dump his lying ass and express to your sister how disappointed you are in her.

TNDommeK -> RE: Starting out, need some advise on clarity (6/5/2012 4:03:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: katty37 hello how are you doing today hope you okay Not sure if that was a FR or directed to Me, but I am good thank you for asking.

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