RE: ways of domming...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: ways of domming...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: ways of domming...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: ways of domming... - 4/19/2012 8:40:45 AM

billybobsub

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/1/2010
Status: offline

ORIGINAL: billybobsub
needing the game and the drama bait more.

Apology Red, I was meant to write a "a Bit"

Unfortunately Dark Seven is wrong. i was trying to express and talk people needs and the lines we cross with them. We have some really interesting points of view and experiences. i hope we get some more.

nick

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: ways of domming... - 4/19/2012 9:26:36 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

The whole 24/7 thing... I am here to tell you that there are many many people on these boards who live a 24/7 M/s or D/s lifestyle. I didn't stop being H's master because I was at my job and he was at his. It's a RELATIONSHIP, not a situational game.

I am a dominant PERSON. It's how I relate to the world. If there is a "responsibility vacuum", I am there. I just sort of take things over and get the job done. (I made bosses look reallly good.) There is no "off switch", it's not some role I play.

That said, I don't align all the people around me in relationship to me being a large and in charge type of person. The only people actually "submissive" to me are those that agree to that relationship. I can have friends, lovers, playmates, that are in no way submissive and be perfectly fine with that. Problems start when people say that they are one thing when they are really something entirely different. There's nothing inherently "wrong" with being a person who just wants to play in the bedroom or at a party.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: ways of domming... - 4/19/2012 10:00:47 AM

PrincessDonna11

Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline

I agree. sub or Domme is simply a personality trait that is within us and we can not turn off although we may have to play other roles in our daily lives. I do not need leather and lace and thigh high boots to prove to anyone I am Domme nor does a sub need to wear a public collar or tattoo to prove they are sub. We both know.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: ways of domming... - 4/19/2012 11:36:50 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Along with all of the regular areas of compatibility that people would look for in each other in a vanilla relationship, I think people who want to include BDSM as a part of their relationship also have to look at kink compatibility and authority transfer compatibility. The kink compatibility is pretty easy to figure out. It's easy enough for two people to print up one of the many checklists that are on line so they can compare notes and find that they are both interested in activity X, but don't like activity Y, and might want to try activity Z.

Authority transfer compatibility is more to do with the D/s part. While I'm not suggesting that anybody should jump straight in to handing over as much power to another person as they would hope to reach in a long term relationship, a person should know how much power one person has over another that they would like to have in their life. For example, if a person only wants to submit in the bedroom once in a while, but have a vanilla relationship the rest of the time, they aren't going to be very compatible with someone who wants the power dynamic to be the constant undercurrent of the relationship. The same goes for how much control one person wants over another. If you have a submissive who wants a Dominant to take a lot of control, but the Dominant is only interested in having a little, they may not be particularly compatible.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PrincessDonna11)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: ways of domming... - 4/21/2012 12:41:07 AM

Isabellalee

Posts: 23
Joined: 10/31/2007
Status: offline

I totally agree with Alecta's statment, "it is really like any other relationship of any kind""

Your need to find a Domina, but, not be in a full lifestyle situation is understandable. That's why the Goddess invented those of us that are High Priestess's or Pro Domina's. We are willing to take our subs on whatever terms are reasonable to them, we don't interrupt there daily schedules, yet, we are available to them when they really need to give in to there desires!!!

_____________________________

Do you know what it's like to be loved by death? To have her hold you in her arms and give you that final kiss? I want to know a love that lasts and stays until the bitter end.

(in reply to billybobsub)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: ways of domming... - 4/21/2012 5:09:23 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

lives and breath being a sub 24/7

By this do you mean someone who is naked and collared 24/7 like in "The Marketplace" or one who goes about a normal life with his D/s relationship in the background until it is time to come forward?

IIRC, most of the 24/7s here would appear vanilla most of the time - their dynamic is present, but not overt.

(Am I conveying that correctly?)

(in reply to billybobsub)

Profile

Post #: 26