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LaTigresse -> RE: how to fall in love ....... (4/20/2012 9:46:27 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsatske
In my religion, (I'm a Christian, but I don't claim to believe the same thing as every other Christian) we believe that love is a decision, and an action, not a feeling. The idea that love is a feeling is what drives the divorce rate. If love is a feeling, one morning you might wake up and not feel it any more. If love is a decision, you're in it for the long haul, for, as the vows say, better or worse. Do Christains get divorced? Yes, yes they do - and over the whole of Christianity, not even in smaller numbers. But in churches simular to mine, in much smaller numbers, though it does still happen.
It would be interesting if marriage theripists could relate this experiment to a treatment to have their clients fall back in love with one another.
One concept from the catholic church, which is good in theory but doesn't seem the make any difference the way they do it, is pre-marital counseling.
I've often said that it should be more difficult and expensive to GET married than to get divorced.
Even I enjoy the occasional rom-com, but they, as well as the novels, are just unrealistic.
I cannot even imagine the number of times G.D. and I, both individually and together have probably had the "what the fuck was I thinking with I married him/her?!?!?" but yanno, when we decided to do it, I threatened him there would be no divorce. No way, no how, not EVER. With a wicked glint in my eye that was dead serious I said "A funeral maybe, but no divorce!" It's just never been an option.
Whatever comes up and obviously, there's been some seriously fucked up shit come up, we figure out a way to make it all work. The resolution is never ever about what I want, screw the consequences or visa versa, it's about what is best for the whole. Sure there have been some serious door slamming bellowing matches. He is a pouter and can go days without saying nary a word. I blow up, speak my mind (imagine that) and once I am done, I am over it. He and I are like Felix and Oscar of the Odd Couple in many ways. Utterly at odds in some pretty serious ways. But we fucking make it work regardless of how pretty the process is.
Our story would never make a good, romantic love story, but it makes a damned good life.
Thinking about it, what we've created is the foundation/rock/axle, for the lives of quite a lot of other people.
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